eyems84's blog: "What cruel love"

I don't know what to do? I've been seeing this girl for about a year. We live about 30 miles apart. She has a 2 almost 3 year old daughter the i love and try to treat her as if she was my own. i have no kids. me and her have been together almost a year in october. start out a great relationship till one day she said after 5 months together she needs space and wants to be a less serious relationship, not boyfriend girlfriend serious just dating. she has alot going on in life and is stressed big time. 3 months go by things going great i thought she then says shes not happy and wants to end it completly just stops talking to me. I've supported this girl big time help her out when no one else would. help her keep her apartment and car more then acouple of times. 2 weeks after this break up she calls and wants me to come over and see her. she says sorry and apoligizes have a good time just hanging out. and ask me to help her keep her furniture and make her payment that day. lol the catch. im a nice guy and i want to be with her and her kid so i help her out again. i come see her again about 1 1/2 later have an awsome day hung out and cleaned her place and went out for lunch. since we gotten back together she doesnt want anything serious and thats fine and dandy been haven a great time getting along great, but i seem to be having a small trust issue it just seems like she hides stuff from me but im not pushing the issue cause i know she doesnt want anything serious so i dont know if she is talking to other guys or not. she does suspious stuff like the other night i was my birthday well the day before cause i worked my birthday she is barrowing my computer acouple of days she'll spend hours just chating online i dont know who with might be friends, but the other night she chatting around for hours, must have though i was asleep walked into the bathroom; normally she leaves the door open or leaves the door unlocked, but this time she closes the and locks it i hear her taking pictures with my camera phone. she then cleared came out and saw i was awake and asked if she had woken me i said no. so i couldnt sleep i played with my phone saw that there were no new pictures on my phone went the sent text messege box on my phone and phone 3 messeges with attchments so checked it out and saw she had taken pictures of her croch and sent them to her self. i confronted her about it she said that it was gonna be a surprise and email me a birthday card with that picture on the card and that she left the pictures on the pnone for me to find but they werent. yesturday i stayed the night and couldnt sleep and again we were up and she chatted for hours with someone but beside the point i get on this morning i get on my computer i had pictures on my computer of the 2 of them and she has gone and deleted them all ass if im not aloud to have pictures of them. so i dont know am i just being paranoind, dont get me wrong she seems to be in love with me and we are getting along but i seem to get depressed from time to time thinking about.