Do you ever find yourself wishing you could go back in time and get a do over? I do.
My sister turns 16 today. I wish I could go back starting at my 16th birthday and get a 2 year do over. I would do so many things different. But then I think of that whole 'butterfly effect' kind of thing happening. I still wish though. But, I would have never had Nicholas. And although it was a tragic thing and it has been hard, I don't regret it. Losing him I think has made me stronger, but still weak to things.
Christmas is now three days away. I am getting more and more excited about it as it draws nearer. I'm like a little kid again. I see the presents under the tree and just want to dive in. I also like the fact that its the only time of the year that my family doesn't argue. That's always nice. I'm happy to be excited about something again. But after Christmas, what do I look forward to? A new year with new mistakes? Trying to lose the pounds I've packed on during the holidays? My birthday? I'm not sure.
Here's to being confused. As always.
