I HOPE THAT BY ME LISTING THESE SIGNS TO LOOK FOR THAT IT WILL AT LEAST GIVE SOMEONE SOME HELP AND MAYBE EVEN SAVE ANOTHER PERSON'S LIFE. AS I SAID BEFOR IF I HAD KNOWN THESE SIGNS I WOULDN'T HAVE LIVED IN A SITUATION WHERE THESE SIGN WERE VISIBLE I WAS JUST DUMB TO KNOW ABOUT THEM. SO GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE WOMAN OUT THERE AND IF YOU EVER WANT TO TALK OR NEED HELP JUST GIVE ME A SHOUT OUT AND I WILL LISTEN AND TRY TO HELP TH BEST WAY I CAN AND KNOW HOW.
SENDING YOU MY LOVE
THE BATTERER MAY USE FORCE DURING ARGUMENTS, INCLUDING HOLDING THE WOMAN DOWN, PHYSICALLY RESTRAINING HER FROM LEAVING THE ROOM, AND PUSHING AND SHOVING. FOR EXAMPLE, HE MAY HOLD HER AGAINST A WALL AND SAY, "YOU'RE GOING TO LISTEN TO ME."
THE BATTERER MAY BREAK THINGS, BEAT ON TABLES OR WALLS WITH HIS FIST, OR THROW ABJECTS AROUND OR NEAR THE WOMAN. SUCH BEHAVIOR IS USED AS A PUNISHMENT, BUT IT'S PRIMARILY FUNCTION IS TO TERRORIZE THE WOMAN INTO SUBMISSION.
THREATS OF VIOLENCE INCLUDE ANY THREAT OF PHYSICAL FORCE MEANT TO CONTROL THE WOMAN. MOST MEN DO NOT THREATEN THEIR PARTNERS, BUT A BATTERER WILL TRY TO EXCUSE THIS BEHAVIOR BY SAYING HAT "EVERYBODY TAKS LIKE THAT."
THE BATTERER MAY SAY HE HAS HIT WOMAN IN THE PAST BUT THEY MADE HIM DO IT. THE WOMAN MAY HEAR FROM RELATIVES OR EX-PARTNERS THE THE MAN IS ABUSIVE. A BATTERER WHO MINIMIZES WHAT HE HAS DONE TO A PREVIOUS PARTNER IS LIKE LY TO BE VIOLENT WITH HIS CURRENT PARTNER. BATTERING BEHAVIOR DOES NOT JUST GO AWAY.
MANY WOMAN ARE CONFUSED BY THEIR BATTERERS' MOOD CHANGES. ONE MINUTE HE'S NICE; THE NEXT HE EXPLODES. THIS DOES NOT NECCESARILY MEAN HE HAS MENTAL PROBLEMS. EXPLOSIVENESS AND MOOD SWINGS ARE TYPICAL OF MEN WHO ABUSE THEIR PARTNERS, AND THESE BEHAVIORS ARE RELATED TO SUCH OTHER CHARACTERISTICS AS HYPERSENSITIVITY.
THE BATTERER MAY EXPECT THE WOMAN TO SERVE AND OBEY HIM. THE BATTERER WILL VIEW WOMAN AS INFERIOR TO MEN AND BELIEVE THAT A WOMAN IS NOT A WHOLE PERSON WITHOUT A RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN.
IN ADDITION TO SAYING THINGS THAT ARE MENAT TO BE CRUEL AND HURTFUL, VERBAL ABUSE INCLUDES DEGRADING WOMAN, CURSING HER, OR DICOUNTING HER ACCOMPLISHMENTS. THE BATTERER MAY TELL THE WOMAN THAT SHE'S STUPID AND UNABLE TO FUNCTION WITHOUT HIM. HE MAY WAKE HER UP TO VERBALLY ABUSE HER OR NOT ALLOW HEER TO GO TO SLEEP.
THE BATTERER MAY LIKE TO THROW THE WOMAN DOWN AND HOLD HER DURING SEX. HE MAY WANT TO ACT OUT SEXUAL FANTASIES IN WHICH THE WOMAN IS HELPLESS. HE MAY SHOW LITTLE CONCERN ABOUT WHETER THE WOMAN WANTS TO HAVE SEX OR USE SULKING OR ANGER TO MANIPULATE HER INTO COMPLIANCE. HE MAY START HAVING SEX WITH THE WOMAN WHILE SHE IS SLEEPING OR DEMAND SEX WHEN SHE IS ILL OR TIRED.
THE BATTERER MAY BRUTALLY PUNISH ANIMALS OR BE INSENSITIVE TO THEIR PAIN OR SUFFERING. HE MAY EXPECT CHILDREN TO BE CAPABLE OF DOING THINGS FAR BEYOND THEIR ABILITY AND THEN PUNISH THEM WHEN THEY DO NOT MEET HIS EXPECTATIONS. FOR EXAMPLE, HE MAY SPANK A 2 YR OLD FOR WETTING A DIAPER. HE MAY TEASE CHILDREN UNTIL THEY CRY. HE MAY NOT WANT THE CHILDREN TO EAT AT THE TABLE OR EXPECT THEM TO STAY IN THEIR ROOMS WHILE HE IS AT HOME.
