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What are you waiting for?
Doing a 360 is cool..if you're on a skateboard. Doing a 360 in life blows. Those of you who are close to me know the absolutely horrible things I've had to face lately. So here I am, on the other side of this awful situation, well several situations, and I'm stuck with this onslaught of emotions. I had a plan, a purpose, and was executing that plan. I gained confidence and strength in myself and then life smacked me right in the face. I fought through one bad situation, and in the end it took a lot out of me. I'm a fighter though, I didn't give up. And then I got hit again with something else, and then again with something else. It got to where the bad things were happening so fast that things were kind of spinning out of control. I'm a good person, so it's bizarre that I've had to go through so much.
Anyway, I have all these emotions and nothing to do but sit here and work through them. I don't even know where to start. I have never been one of those people that knows beyond a doubt who they are and what they stand for. I've never known what I want to do when I grow up or where I'd end up, until I went back to school and learned all this about myself. Well, I've lost my home, I've lost school, I've lost relationships with people in my family, my health has taken blow after blow, and I am here now trying to make some kind of sense out of it all.
It is scary because I have to figure out who I am now. Who I am without the influence of my family, which is totally broken. Who am I without the opinion of my parents and others? I've always defined myself in the way I've heard myself being described by others, and a lot of that isn't good.
I had a plan and a purpose, and I've done a 360 back to not knowing anything. I don't have a clue what I'm suppose to do with my life. I have no job because I keep getting sick and can't work. I have no school now because I keep getting sick. I'm sad, and pretty mad because I didn't deserve this. But nonetheless, it is what it is, and I am where I am. And I don't know what to do next.
