Twisted Little Star's blog: "Disturbing News"

I bit the bullet and called and talked to my mom yesterday. We had a nice 20 minute conversation, she had her first dose of radation yesterday. She goes back sometime this week for an MRI of her head to try and determine where the cancer orginated from. They still have no clue what type it is though. I offered to drive her and my dad to any doctor appointment if they needed it and I plan on going out to see them Saturday. I thought about getting a card and putting monet in it becasue my dad has been having to miss alot of work due to doctor appointment and such. Thank you to all who offered me advice and I honestly feel better since I have talked with her. I'll let you know how Saturday goes.

Sooo, my mother got her test results back and it appears she does have cancer. She will go in for surgery in a few days to have over 30 lymp nodes removed that were contaminatied by the cancer. She then will have to go through radation 5 days a week for 5 weeks. They are unsure of what kind of cancer it actually is. They have ruled out Lymphoma, Melonoma, and Breast cancer. The cancer board at the hospital is currently running tests and attempting to determine the type. I have only talked to my mother once since all this was discovered and we didn't actually talk, she talked around me to other people in the room. My sister asked her if she had called me and let me know what the results of the test were and my mothers response was "If I knew my mother was going through this I would call her" to which my sister respoded "If it was my daughter I would call her and let her know" Don't get me wrong, I'm concerned for my mothers health but I'm not devestated by it, if that makes any sense at all. I cried this morning but that was more for the fact o the way I am treated by my family. Like an outsider instead of a part of it. My father actually told me a few Easter's ago never to come back to his house unless I call first. Maybe it's just me but I always thought you could go home anytime, day or night no matter what? Sorry for rambling, I just need to get shit off my chest.

So last night while I was at work I get a text message from my baby sister telling me she needs to talk to me and to call her in the morning when I get off. So I call her this morning and she tells me that our mother found a lump in her breast and kept it secrect for a few months. She finally went to the doctor and they took some blood and are running tests. The doctor said he didnt think it was a swollen lymp node because if it was it would have went down in size, so I feel like he is leaning towards cancer. Now, I don't have a very good relationship with my mother. Hell, i dont have ANY kind of relationship with my mother. She watched as my father beat the hell out of me and my siblings. She sat and watched my father break my nose when I was 12 andtold me not to get blood on the carpet! She also knew my father was sexually abusing me but refused to do anything about it, saying I was making it up. I honestly dont know how to feel. I'm kinda numb, if that makes any sense at all.