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Today a friend of mine said, "It is funny how your friends with certain people for so long, and it becomes that easy to be replaced. In truth if it is only a click away and a word not here and removed there "WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS ANYWAY." Some memory's can be like a nasty scab. You want to pick it, but you know if you do not..... It eventually goes away, and of course the only thing you are left with to remind you of it.... is a slight scar." This reminded me of a blog or bulletin that I had re-posted that said something like this: "It's sad when people we know, became people we knew. Even more so when we can walk right past someone who at one point played a big part in our lives and not even speak a word. Do you remember how you used to be able to talk to them for hours about the little nothings in life, and now, the most you can share is a smile or nod in passing? And now this I share with you as I shared with her...maybe a bit less personal and a bit edited.... I have discovered these past few years that in life...friends come and go, as do relationships. But, those closest to you always remain in your heart. You may not think of them everyday nor them of you. But, I can almost guarantee that there are certain things in any given day that a person can reflect upon and it makes them think of those people who were once closest to them but at the moment seem so distant. It can be the stupidest thing like seeing a hitch on the back of a truck and thinking about that girl who knocked the shit out of her leg one night while trying to pee behind the truck, or everyday when you look in the mirror and see that infamous tattoo that was once linked that special bond between the two of you, or seeing someone flying a kite reminding you of that inside joke and the uneasieness of unspoken words, or walking into Ingles and remembering the funniest Thanksgiving story ever, or seeing someone wear long socks with sandals or shorts (my biggest irritation...I hate it) reminding you of an friend or grandfather who climbed up the telephone poll to cut the telephone wire, or the touch of a comforter that reminds you of the nights you spent together, or glancing at a picture on the wall that reminds you of those special people you once were close to whether it be a relationship or a friendship. You always know who those closest to you are it's a connection of feelings that you can't really describe. They are the ones who you could tell anything, which you could show anything and just simply be yourself around. You know... the ones that will have your back or have a shoulder for you to lean on while they listen and give their advice or even just a bed for you to sleep in for the night. The ones who said I love you, held you, and adored you and meant it. Those are the ones who you can go months without speaking to and just by a simple phone call they would drop everything and rush to your side! With that being said. I am not sure to what friendships or people her statement was directed towards, nor my blog at this point. But, I do know...that there are people who have left impressions on my life and my heart that I will never forget and hold close to me as long as my mind allows me to. We might not talk every day like we used to, we might share a smile in passing, and we might have grown apart and went our different ways. Sadly enough that is a part of growing up and moving on...sometimes friends grow apart and relationships don't work. Although life leads many of us in different directions, we never forget those who we love. We have all said and done things that have hurt someone in our lives. But, we have always figured something out and managed to move on with our lives. I miss you, I think of you often. There are the little things that remind me. Just like I told her..."every time I look in the mirror and see the impression of the cross and rose on my shoulder...I think of the impression you left on my life, the things I will never take forgranted, and the things I wish for you." To her and all of those who were once close I hate that we have grown apart or that things happened the way they did. Sometimes it does seem like a smile in passing is all we share anymore. But, we still have the memories of what was, and what could be again, when we both figure out where we are going in life. I have learned many life lessons along the way through the friendships and relationships that I have had. There are some people that I truly miss and would give anything to have back in my life. Please just remember if you are one of the ones who was once close to me, you know who you are...I promise you are not one that is easily forgotten and you most definitely are one that is not replaceable. You are one of a kind and I can't help but to love you for that. Through life's lessons I have learned the "Uneasiness of Unspoken Words" For those of you who know you have held a special place in my life, I love you and you are not forgotten.... And for those of you who I allowed the Uneasiness of those Unspoken Words to take control... I am sorry, I should of said, maybe now they wouldnt be unspoken...you too are not forgotten and hold a special place<3 My final thought for the night.....Just keep in mind...scars are tattoos with better stories. Hold your memories close and although sometimes they will fade they are never forgotten. Sometimes memories are just what we need to help us through the roughest of times.

I miss...

I miss... the softness of your touch the passion of your kiss the warmth of your embrace the ruggedness of your voice the depth to your eyes the cages of your soul the sweetness of your lips the sound of your heart beating the taste of your sin the fear of your love your love of fear watching you sleep the feeling of your every breath the tenderness of your smile the touch of your skin the smell of your clothes making love in the moon light sky looking into your eyes kissing in the rain talking with the sunrises silly pillow fights drunken mascarades the comfort of your charm the feel of you close sleeping by your side the gentleness of your words most of all I just miss you....

Razorblade Kiss

I taste death in every kiss we share And every sundown seems to be the last we have Your breath on my skin has the scent of our end And I'm drunk on your tears Baby, can't you see its hurting Everytime we touch we are closer to heaven And its every sun rise our sins are forgiven You on my skin, this must be the end The only way you can love me, is to hurt me Again and again and again Your love is a razor blade kiss Sweetest is the taste from your lips Only inside I am free I am tired of waiting You've got to let me dream Inside baby I'm not afraid to feel I want you to love me Cause you are the one Cause you are the one Cause you are the one Your love is a razor blade kiss Sweetest is the taste from your lips

Nothing

I search the night for meaning Finding Nothing... I look to my soul for reason Nothing... Words don't make sense anymore They're too easily spoken Then regretted or forgotten A screaming voice echoes Over the din of my stereo I know it But want to deny the knowledge Of its personal relationship Somewhere a soul is swallowed By anger and another by jealousy Then yet one more by the thought of Love
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