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BillSeigor's blog: "BlogStuff"

created on 03/15/2007  |  http://fubar.com/blogstuff/b64964

Different sex positions...

Different sex positions... Ken and Barbie style - Neither partner is allowed to bend at the elbows or knees. Doggie style - The man attempts to do the impossible. Froggie style - Male and female partners in large spa. Male attempts to fertilise female using only the water as a transmission medium. For couples who don’t like each other much any more. Fish style - same as Froggie style, but neither partner may use their arms or legs. Mummy and Daddy Love Each Other Very Much, And Hug Each Other in A Special Way style - The only position in this list you won’t be embarrassed to tell the kids about when they're five. Style style - Sex with a Vogue Living editor. Crouch position - Each partner crouches down on the ground, then simultaneously leaps up, and attempts to couple whilst in mid-air. Couch position - Same as the crouch position, but starting at opposite ends of the living room couch. Ouch position - Usual outcome of the crouch position. Lazy Susan style - Susan goes to sleep. Russian style - Partners queue for hours for enough vodka to make each other look attractive. Nostrodamus sex - Any encounter that comes as a complete surprise. Osama Bin Laden’s position - If you know this position, please contact the FBI for your $25 million reward. Bank style - Screw the customers. Missionary position - Each partner kneels and prays. Stealth style - Hide in a box, sneak around a corner, just as long as she doesn't see you coming. Matrix Style - - th partners put on sunglasses, and dress in black. They then fly around the room and run on walls in slow motion. Marathon Style - A 3 day event featuring such events as the 23-Second-Dash, the 'Backseat-of-the-car' Relay and the Condom Toss Under the Bed Style - Just as fun as on top of the bed! "Lets Get it On" Style - One partner continously sings "Lets Get It On" by Marvin Gaye Praying Mantis Style - When you're done somebody gets eaten... Lazy Susan Style (Advanced) - Intercourse while spinning at high speed Carnival Style - You must be this tall to ride. Yoda Style - The mind trick must you use, if nookie you want Ninja Style - I go in, I go out, you never know I was there. Alaskan Style - Actually not a lot of style here, just lots of guys with blue ballz Discovery Channel Style - Do it with the Croc Hunter filming you R-Rated Movie on Free-To-Air Television Style - he woman feigns excitement, the man is unable to display an erection- a few seconds later, it's over and everyone starts thinking about products. Microsoft Style - rgasm causes fatal exception resulting in blue screen of death. John Ashcroft Style - nvolves reading other people's mail until climax. Sloth Style - oreplay is done over a period of weeks while hanging from a tree. QWERTY Style - exual intercourt atop a keyboard. Experience the rush of orgasm while flooding your favorite chat room. Predator Style - Dress in warpaint and hide in the bushes before your partnet gets home from work. Then as they walk by, jump out screaming and have at it! Snob Style - At the height of passion, start name dropping. Bullshit artist sex - ook I've liked you for a while now and I'm so happy to be lying here with you but I would love to get your phone number so I can call you and we can go out sometime. Canadian style - Find a place with snow, (or go into a walk in freezer in a pinch), boink till you have frostbite, run inside and sizzle up some Canadian bacon during the afterglow..... Batman Style - Dress up in costume with mask, activate utility belt full of useful "gadgets", hang by your feet from roof. Guaranteed to get a rush of blood to the head. (sidekick optional) Cowboy style - Once you've engaged in intercourse tell her that her sister is a better bonk than her and see if you can hang on for eight seconds! Ultra Light - Put wings on your lawnmower. Chase each other on the runway and attempt airborne intimacy. Decathlon style - any ten of the above in any order you choose DJ Style - For those not into S&M but R&B. You feel the drumming of music, see lights flashing before your eyes, your body covered in sweat, and you're thirsty but a bottle of water is $10!!! Contraception? The rhythm method of course! Warning - you could slip your disc doing this one. Snail Mail Style - Like cyber-sex and phone-sex, but through the postal service. Takes a little longer, and both partners seem to lose intrest after a while. Plumber position - you stay in all day and still no one comes. Going solo postition - ttempting to mate while drinking lemonade Mullet style - - er a hard day of diesel engine repair, it's nice to come home to a little business in front, and party in the back. Necrophiliac postion - climb on and get get off all while the partner is asleep. Jedi Knight Style - Put on a glow in the dark condom. Breathe very heavily and insist your partner joins the dark side. If partner refuses then the lightsaber fight starts. Saloon Style - Liquor up the front, poker round the back. Hoochie Style - You recognize this style when it's like trying to throw a hotdog down a hallway. Magician Style - Propose this to a girl (or guy) and when she asks "How is that?", you say "we have sex and then you disappear." Kylie style - should be so lucky Ozzy Osbourne Style - Start off 'Flying High Again' with a little 'Sweet Leaf'. Get out your 'Iron Man', unless you have a 'Mr. Tinkertrain', then you better say 'Goodbye To Romance' But if your mate has 'Desire' give it a 'Shot In The Dark', just make sure you don't take the 'Road To Nowhere' unless you're a bum pirate or trying not to make any 'Crazy Babies'. Just remember while you shag like a couple of 'War Pigs' that you give fair warning by yelling 'Mama, I'm Coming Home'! Quantum position - One of you hides in a box with Schrodingers cat, the other decides how you're having sex before opening the box to prove it. Microsoft Windows 98 style - Everyone gets screwed. It is reported to log file 000alep9721#.txt Prime Minister Howard style - you don't know how, but people are getting screwed...your minister for defence has all the details. Doggy style - where the girl rolls over and the guy begs. Nike style - Just do it Microsoft style - Do the same position everyweek but insist to your partner that its new and improved. Hillbilly style - sorta like doggie style just have your clothes hanging off your knees and leave your boots on. Dolphin style - You're goin doggy style. You skillfully pretend you slip and then try the rear entry. She turns her head with a frightened look saying uh uh.. uh uh Big Mac - put a quarter pounder between her buns. Propellor-style - it allows you to feel the sensation with a twist Diet style - Looks the same, smells the same, but just somehow aint the same. Frigid Style - You lay there he lays there and nothing happens. Any style, as long as no body feels "shafted". Job interview style - you lie, cheat and pretend to be someone else to get in. Alien abduction style - Wait til they are asleep...then swoop and probe Construction style - Take what's old and redo it to perfection. Math Class - Subtract the clothes, Add a bed, Divide the legs, and Multiply. Drunken sailor style - Morale goes up, skill goes down Godfather Style - Wearing concrete slippers and with a horse's head in the bed. And you don't mess with the family. The 96 - You sit back to back and fart on each other's heads Contortionism style - oing it anyway possible in a 2'x 2'x 3' box. The Rodeo Position - You mount your girl from behind as you would a horse, reach around and grab her breasts, then whisper in her ear "Hey, these feel just like your sisters!!" Then you see if you can stay on for 15 seconds wihtout getting thrown off!! Maths (Advanced) - To teach a girl maths subtract her clothes, divide her legs and square root her. Gatorade Style - Where your have to ask the question, "Is it in you?" Cliff position - Gently push partner to edge of cliff while doing it, she will DEFINITLY push back. Jiff style - choosy moms choose Jiff. Self-actualization style - Scream your own name when you come. Hamster Style - Wrap her up in sellotape first. Ethiopian Style - You can be sure she'll swallow! Porno style - Do it in front of a camera. Porno style (advanced) - Do it in front of a camera without her knowing. Then tell her. Count how many teeth you lose in the process. Sporty Sex - The female partner attempts to make love to the male partner while he is watching his favourite sport. Need imaginative girlfriend. Flexibility a plus. Lifestyle Programe Style - Do it yourself. Pringles style - Once you pop, you can't stop. Hallway Sex - As you pass each other down the hallway, you face each other and say "get fucked". Pool Style - Take your stick and push the balls around untill you get something in the hole. Scream style - The guy puts on a scary mask and cape and stabs her from behind. Golfer style - You could go par with 18 holes if you carefully choose your club Vancouver Canucks Style - Just like the hockey team, you always try to "come from behind" Blonde Style - Have your girlfriend say "like" "like" "like" the whole time. Prince Charles style - You screw your wife, and then immediately phone the other woman Chicken style - Peck round till you find a big cock. Drummer position - Whack it hard with your big stick Waitress style - Get hit on by 25 guys a night, and go home with the guy that doesn't. Kama Sutra Style - Have sex while reading a book . . . about having sex (possibly while reading a book). Door Knob style - Everyone gets a turn. Bouncer/doorman style - Ask your partner for ID. If they don't have any, they ain't comin' in! Cantonese Style - Can't support any weight on your knees. Politician Style - Similar to Job Interview Style in that you lie and cheat to get in but, by the time you've finished everyone's been screwed. The 6.9 - A great position screwed up by a period. Village town bicycle style - Everyone gets a ride. Cup of Sugar position - Standing up back to back. Then invite next door neighbours in. Guitarist Style - Play a riff with your girl until she gets of your blistering 'solo' and leaves. President Bush Style - Join up with Dick, get elected then screw everyone. Casino Style - Liquor up front, poker in the rear Osama style - Root with no bush. 99 Style - Take aging secret agent from behind. Missionary Position (Advanced) - You stay at home and he buggers off to Africa Orange Genital Style - Sit at home alone on the couch with a Playboy, a Swimsuit Video, and a big bag of "Cheesy-puffs". Super Couple - Have the man siting on the ground and the woman ties a bungee on her hands and jumps down from a high platform on the man. Quite sensational. Beware of female's targeting system!!! Don't wake dad style - Screw your girlfriend while trying not to wake her dad who's boozed out on the couch beside you. Titanic Style - Sink in to your boyfriend's crotch Military Style - The woman extends her rear end and bends forward. The man enters jumps inside a cannon and launches towards the woman. Extremely exciting! Something Seedy - Do what the greenies have always dreamed of. 75.9 - 69 + 10% GST. Iowa Style-In the cornfields everybodys hugging! Gorskys Style. Neither couple can stop laughing throughout the proceedings although no one is really sure why. Camping style - Come on her legs and let the flies do the rest. Dog In A Bathtub - Mount partner from behind similar to doggy, then insert testicles as well. It's just about as easy as trying to get a dog in a bathtub. Pearl Harbour Style - he lays down on Sunday morning and she sneaks up and blows the hell out of him. Crouching Tiger Style - She gets on all fours, starts growling and he feeds her the meat. Butterface Style - You've just been to the pub, you picked up a girl, you start banging her, then you start to sober-up and you think shes allright, but her face... (Usually involves the search for a paper bag.) Make Believe style - You lie in bed at night imagining the things you never did with your ex, and then proceed to tell people you did them. Dungeons & Dragons Style - Roll d20. Subtract your 'To Hit Armour Class 0'. Multiply by d6 for insertion ratio. Cross-reference your Constitution score and Dexterity with your Tumbling Skill. If the score is higher than 20, you had sex. Chemical Engineer style - Do it in packed beds Maths Style - Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply. Spaghetti style - Have your partner eat your meatballs Twin Towers - Lean your partner on a wall while hittin' her until both of ya'll fall (requires strong legs). S.A.S. Style - In and out in three minutes without her knowing The Tea-cup - Get a cup of tea, and drink it whilst it is placed on your partner's forehead whilst going at it. Very difficult to do if she is moaning about. So better not make it too hot! Married in the hall sex - Every once in a while, meet each other in the hall and say "F@%ck you." Hacker style - Use the back door Elvis style - Don't drip on my blue suede shoes Bad Golfer style - Give your balls a good whack, spend 5 minutes rummaging in the bush, and then make three unsuccessful attempts at the hole. Stop and Go style - This is where you stop by your man's house and you just go at it on your way to work. Iraqi Prisoners - Especially for the bondage enthusiast. Don't think I need to explain it really. English breakfast style - Get her to eat your sausage then enter her cottage and play some cricket. Blind Man Style - Use your cane and eventually you'll get in. John Kerry style - Do it in flip-flops Pinocchio style - Get a female to sit on a man's face while he tells lies Broken Guitar style - Remove g-string. Religious - Put your face in the place and say grace. 77 style - Same as 69 only you get (8) ate more. Flag Style - For those chicks that have a nasty face and hot body, you just need a Canadian flag thrown over her face, and then you screw her for the country. 88 stlye - Two fat people doing it - just. rodeo style,man mounts woman then whispers in her ear that it was better with her sister. man tries to stay on for 8 secs SWAT Style - 30 seconds from bang to bullets. $100 style - See how fast your lover blows this. Fort Knox style - He tells her her dress makes her look fat and then tries to get laid. Rodeo Sex - Grab your wife's nipples from behind and tell her "This is how me and my girlfriend did it last night." Try to hold on for 8 seconds Rubber necker style - You simply stare your partner, and she/he stares at you as you walk by slowly and speed up after you looked Karate Kid style - Whack on, whack off TERMINATOR STYLE-youve been sent back from the future to empregnate a female species.the partner then crawls under the bed with you following, when you partner gets out the other side she then kicks the bed legs until the bed falls on your head Philadelphia Sports Teams Style - Just like you always do, you blow it when you're close to scoring, and let me down in the end! New-typer style - Search and peck ] 6 to the 9th power - Only for the selfish. Army Men Style - He throws his hands in the air to surrender, while she blows him away. Electrician style - Lie about the size of the job. Standing there - The two of you just stand there. Anywhere. Nothing else to it. International style - With Russian hands and Roman fingers. Michael Jackson style - Just lay there and let the kids play Maths class style - He opens up the brackets then uses his ruler Saddam Hussein style - He's got a weapon of mass destruction, but she can't find it. Star Wars - The Empire Strikes From The Back Pope style - Pretend your from Poland and that you have a lot of sausage. Dodgeball style - Throw the balls till you get a hit The Tool Box - Convince her to rummage around until she finds a measurable tool of immeasurable pleasure. (Everyone loves a good riddle, after all.) John Howard style - No matter how bad it was for them, DON'T SAY SORRY! Kit kat style - Give someone the finger! Bagpiper style - Do it with Amazing Grace Unbelievable style - Just close your eyes a dream about it. Air Force style - Man lies on his back outdoors, clearly marked, woman then skydives onto him. Requires good aim. Social Gamer style - You make sure everyone gets the joystick State trooper style - Faster than a speeding ticket Wizarding Style - Stick the "wand" into the "cauldron," and "stir it all around." The Angry Pirate. - A girl gives a guy head, and he ejacultates in her eye. Kick her in the shins and she jumps up and down on one leg and says "Arrrrrrrrrrrr!" Superman position - Get your partner to dress up as Superman, then later make a crack about him being faster then a speeding bullet. The Big Brother Position - You do it in a crappy old shed that's been covered with red curtains and fluffy lace pillows on a matress with no covers or quilt and about 20 cameras filming you. Kangaroo style - Hop around in her pouch until she comes down under Impossible Style - On a motorbike, up a tree, in a boat. Boot Camp Style - Make em do fifty while cleaning your weapon Snow sex - You dont know how many inches you're gonna get, or how long it will last! Pregnant Wife Style - Have sex in any position you want and let her complain about everything you do. UT2004-CTF Style - Just before climax pull out and shout "DENIED!!!!" at your partner. Gamer Style - The man tries to play his game while the woman plays with his joystick The Mike Komes - You don't know who he is or why you woke up next to him. The Ring style- watch a movie with wife, while doing her, and tell her it'll last seven days (the sex of course) Loner Style - Generally the partner is inflatable, or automated. Clown Style coz some guys are just laughable. George W Bush style: Invade your partner after accusing them of having weapons of mass destruction. Best of Luck...waiting for feedback Cheese it Style- (using) cheese it condoms. Get your own box!!! Stranger Style - Sit on your hand until it's numb and have fun. catholic style-behind closed doors, behind the alter boy. Stalin Style - Become so paranoid that you think everyone you have ever been with is talking about you and plotting against you... then you kill them Really Advanced Missionairy Position: Go to a pagan country and demonstrate to a live audience. Stripper Style - You be the dancer, I'll be the pole Pinata style - Hanging someone off a tree while poking them with a stick Bartender style: You pull all night and remember to give good head. Opposite Ends of the House style - For wankers only Mortal Combat Style: You must use your "Weapon" in the right way to "win". IRS position-Dont worry no matter who are! ..You'll get F**ked Cockroach style - Once the lights go on you scram. Eternal Virginity - Refuse to do it with anything but a smart blonde.
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