Biba's blog: "Diary of a Madman..."

So.. It was just wonderful. I have never felt so good about someone in my life. It just seemed too good to be true. The days were going by.. We went out and had fun together.. Did all the things you do when falling for someone. I would be laying in bed alone.. (get your mind out of the gutter) and I would get a text message from her saying how happy she is to be with a guy like me and that she just feels so good. When you hear that, as a guy, you just glow. I mean I couldn't sleep. The need, desire for me to be laying next to her, holding her into the night was so overwhelming... Sleep was just out of the question. Thoughts of her just clouded my mind. I will leave all the yummy dirty stuff out but let just say this.. One thing we talked about is that we both didn't want to rush into sex because all other relationships we both were in ended badly because it revolved around sex instead of the heart. So that being said.. in our entire relationship.. we were never intimat. But let me tell you, some of the text msges & email I got from here drove me INSANE!!!! Very dirty.. Loved it. With that out of the way.. We just focus on the heart. It was something that I could only describe as a wonderful torture.. Highly recomended... Anyway I have never been able to relate to anyone.. Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally & Physically.. as I did with her.. To me it was just meant to be. That romance that exists in Fairy Tales... I remember the day I told her that I loved her.. How scared and relieved I was.. I had plans to take her to the beach and watch the sunset.. I had a wonderful plan to warm her up or cool me down which ever to what I was hoping to say. Unfortunatly, I did not happen that way.. Something came up for her that it just could happen that way that time.. But you get the Idea on the things I like to do for the woman that compels my heart.. So she saw the look on my face when she told that something came up and wanted to know what I had to say so I walked her to her car told her that I wasn't upset just caught off guard because we had plans.. So I told her what I had in mind and I told her that the reason why it was so important to me was because.. I loved her and I wanted her know how good I feel when I am around her... When she heard that she grab me and kissed me like I have never been kissed before.. with FIRE! She just said that she was so sorry about what came up and whe would rather be at the beach with me.. and that she was right behind me... That I made her feel like she was the most special woman in existance... And she loved that feeling.. I only went into that so you can get into my mind frame.. Because to me.. That is what is was like.. Beautiful.. What ever I gave emotionally she recipricated which blinded me even futher into believing she was the one person.. that soul mate that compliment of my life that I alway had hoped for... And she said the same about me... Which.. completely closed my eyes to any red flags because I had complete faith in her in the way I felt and the way things were going.. We talked of the future... we talked about when we were going to get our own place... We talk about how much we loved eachother and just had days where we just could not wait to see eachother... Like I said before.. the magnetism was so uterlly compelling that it could not be ingnored... The blinding of my heart that she was playing me for a fool.. was a success.. I did not see it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ more ? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WARNING!! For those of you who laugh at the guy that can express "mushy" feelings and can identify with their feelings then just move on... I am a romantic and that is just the way I am. Laugh, point, whatever.. I like it! First off... Madman? Yes I am. Insane? A little. This is my account of the latest trauma that involved my heart being ripped out of my chest and thrown in to a blender only to be dumped into a toilet to be flushed into oblivion.... Lets start this off with setting the mood.... Do I believe in true love? YES! I believe that a relationship can be as magical and beautiful like those hard to believe love stories.. you know the kind! The kind that just makes you either all warm inside or just go.. YUK! Have you ever felt all warm & fuzzy about someone to the point you just can't help but act on it...? to the point it excites you to hear their voice..? Michelle, the girl!, and I had been friends/accuantances for sometime. I have always had an eye on her but just.. didn't persue it because I never wanted the friendship to be in Jeapordy. Then the day comes that we started to spend more time together than normal. Normal was hey how you doing nice to see you have a good day. We went for coffee a few times, then a few more.. then one day I began to feel that warm & fuzzy feeling you get when your heart sees someone for the first time. Magnetic! I say magnetic because I was drawn to her... There is no other way I can define it other than a fate that I could not comprehend. I could not help but feel this way because I have always known in my heart that given the chance, it would be something out of a fairy tale... Something more than I had ever dreamed... And I dreamed. So back to magnetic... It was that way for her too.. We were at a coffee house and wound up going for a walk.. Talking about absolutley nothing.. Butthe attraction within me.. was telling me to grab her.. and kiss her with all the spontaneous romance I could muster... But I did not. Not that i am chicken.. Just didn't.. not yet. It was time to say goodbye.. so I walked her to her car.. Under the bright full moon we gave eachother a hug... This hug made my heart just pound.. and I became numb all over my body.. then that glow from deep within my soul started to cry out for more than just a hug.. for more than just a goodbye.. It cried for her.. It needed her... Just for a moment.. just to know what it has always known... So as we both pulled away.. I pulled her back.. looked into her eyes.. and lightly, sofly kissed her... and she kiss back.. That poisonous kiss... That lovely heart warming kiss. I began to fall for her that day that moment that second... Then we embrace pulling eachother like neither wanted to let go.. Then we did.. and I said good night.... and floated back to my car... ~~~~~ Do you want me to continue? ~~~~~