DNO DDR FOB MISS SWEET ADDICTION's blog: "(DIAMOND DANDY RANDYS) MAPLE BACON BEER RIBS RECIPE MMMMMMMMM"

Women V/S Men How to treat a Woman: Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her. Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her. Believe in her. Pray with her. Pray for her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her. Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her. Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her. === How To Treat a Man: Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV CHEERS (DIAMOND DANDY RANDY)

The 22 towns with the worst names... Posted: 12/22/2008 8:43:12 AM 22.c o c kburn, Western Australia Although this name is often pronounced "Coburn" by those who stand to lose from its awfulness, who actually reads that when they see this word? Oh, how it burns. 21. Twatt, Orkney, Shetland Islands, Scotland The Shetland Islands, pronounced "Shitland Islands" if you have an accent like mine, make up a happy little area north of Scotland where it's too cold for trees to grow. I am related to approximately half the population of the Shetland Islands, share a last name with a quarter of them, and can probably trace my ancestry back to Twatt if I try hard enough. The pride! 20. Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand Locals call this hill in Hawke's Bay "Taumata" because... Well. Just because. 19. Muff, Ireland We here at Drivl love puerile humour. They have a town called Muff. Har har har. 18. Looneyville, Texas, United States Little Looneyville was named for storekeeper John Looney in the early 1870s. But who gives a shit. This is a hilarious name for a town in the state that brought us Dallas, the Bush Twins and Waco. How awkward must that be when you go to college? "Hey guys, my name's Sue and I'm from Looneyville!" 17. Titty Hill, Sussex, England Falling squarely into the extensive Stupid Place Names From England category, Titty Hill is probably located just north of... 16. Thong, Kent, England Which actually is south-east of... 15. Gravesend, Kent, England Oh, come on, England. Graves End? What a nasty, depressing little name. You could have at least gone all the way with this one and called it Corpse Feet. 14. Wetwang, Yorkshire... yep! England again! Okay, so I'll cut England some slack. It's an old country. You know, if the United States is Google, then England is IBM. Their country is older than f u c king dirt. They can't be blamed for having names that sound funny in 2007. But this is kind of ridiculous. Wetwang? I'm surprised they don't have towns called Squishy Vagina or Infected Scrotum. 13. Spread Eagle, Wisconsin If I were mayor of Spread Eagle, I'd be making diplomatic advances towards the city leaders over in Wetwang to form a Sister-City relationship. Or maybe more of a Platonic-Friends-City relationship. After that, we'd just take thing slow and see what happened. 12. Bald Knob, Arkansas, United States Well, I guess it's better than Hairy Knob. I assume England already has that one covered. 11.C o c kup, Cumbria, England Cumbria is a county in the very north-west of England. What the backwoods of Alabama are to America is what Cumbria is to Britain. They talk funny up there. Thus, it isn't thoroughly surprising that they have a town called C o c k up. What do you call someone from this place? A c o c kupper? C o c k epeleite? C o c k uppian? C o c k apican? I suppose it's mildly better than Wetwangger. 10. Whiskey d i c k Mountain, Washington State, United States As hard as America tries, it can't compete with Britain's high standards. This was a good effort, though. Well done, Washington. 9. Hookersville, West Virginia Undoubtedly named before "hooker" meant "prostitute who picks men up on street corners," Hookersville combines two crimes of place-naming. One, a dirty sounding adjective (they couldn't have chosen "Pleasant"? "Sunny"? "Happy"?) And two, they added "ville" to the end of the town's name. Affixing "ville" to the end of a town's name is like dressing your silly little dog in a cardigan and letting him carry his leash around in his mouth. It just makes the poor animal look f u c king stupid. 8. Hell, Michigan, United States The people in this town at least seem to have a good sense of humour about their home's unfortunate name. Although, I'm sure there's some midwestern idiots in Hell who get all offended and defensive when the town shows up on lists like this. I'm looking forward to reading their insightful emails and comments. 7. Toad Suck, Arkansas, United States So that's what they do down in the big AR. 6. Middelfart, Denmark I guess it's not so funny to them, but how do we know that "Seattle" doesn't mean "Big Fat Stinking Turd" in Danish? That's right, we don't. And it probably does. 5. Horneytown, North Carolina, United States Its proximity to Hookersville, West Virginia is no coincidence. I also assume that, like Hookersville, the naming of Horneytown took place before "horney" meant "aching for a hot piece of ass" with an extra "e". But I'm starting to wonder why, pride and tradition aside, the townspeople in these little places never saw it fit to change their homes' names? Do they enjoy being ridiculed by the entire English-speaking world? 4. Shitterton, Dorset, England I wonder if they bleep out the first part of Shitterton's name if it's mentioned on TV in America? 3. Disappointment, Kentucky, United States Le sigh. Never mind. You live in a small town in Kentucky. At least it was appropriately named. 2. F u c king, Austria The people who live in F u c king, Austria had a vote in 2004 to determine whether or not they should change the town's name, and you know what they did? They voted against it, preferring instead to put up with international ridicule, numerous stolen road-signs and horrific Google results. But the hands-down winner, again from New Zealand is: 1. Whakapapa Why is this the worst place name in the world? In Maori, the native language of New Zealand, the "wh" sound is pronounced "f". Say it aloud in your office and see what happens. CHEERS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS PEEPS (DIAMOND DANDY RANDY)

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they are not so good and sympathizes with your problems when they are not so bad. Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the middle we became the best of friends. A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails. Friendship isn't a big thing-- it's a million little things. If your alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend I will just be me. A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. Friends are kisses blown to us by angels. It is the friends you can call up at 4:00 A.M. that matter. A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart. A friend accepts us for what we are yet helps us to be what we should. CHEERS (DIAMOND DANDY RANDY)

(DIAMOND DANDY RANDYS)HOME MADE Ghoul's Punch. Published: 10/31/08, 2:27 PM EDT REPEN IN THE 954 BOO..... Ingredients: 6 cups unsweetened pineapple juice, chilled 3 cups cold water 1 6-ounce can frozen lemonade concentrate 4 blood orange or orange slices 1 recipe Frozen Hands (see recipe below) (This is made for kids only but if for us grown ups add booze) Nutritional Information: calories: 208, total fat: 0g, saturated fat: 0g, cholesterol: 0mg, sodium: 8mg, carbohydrate: 52g, fiber: 0g, protein: 1g, vitamin C: 139%, calcium: 4%, iron: 5%, fruit: 2 diabetic exchange, other carb: 1.5 diabetic exchange. Steps: 1. For punch, in a punch bowl stir together pineapple juice, water, and lemonade concentrate. Float orange slices and Frozen Hands in punch. Makes 8 (about 10-ounce) servings. 2. Frozen Hands: Carefully pour cranberry juice cocktail into 2 or 3 clear plastic gloves.* Fill the gloves so that the fingers can move easily. Tightly seal the gloves with rubber bands. Place on a baking sheet lined with paper towels. Freeze until firm. Use scissors to cut the gloves off the frozen hands. If any fingers break off, add them separately to punch. *Note: Be sure to use gloves without powder. Or, rinse powdered gloves thoroughly before using. Occasion: Halloween DO HAVE A SCARRY GOOD BLAST OF PURE FUN AND DONT BUT DO FEAR THE REEPER (DIAMOND DANDY RANDY)BOO

Homemade Bailey's Liquor 1 pint half + half (milk is fine) 3 eggs 1 teasp. vanilla extract 3Tbsp. chocolate syrup 1 can sweetened condensed milk 1 cup whiskey 1/2 cup light rum Blend in a blender and chill. keep refridgerated up to 3 weeks ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ Grand Marnier Recipe 4 medium Oranges 1 Vanilla bean 2 1/2 cups Vodka 1 cup Brandy 1 cup white granulated sugar 1/2 cup water Look for firm, heavy oranges which indicates lots of juice, and smoothskinned ones free from soft spots and mold. Wash and peel oranges making sure to scrape ALL white rind from the peels to avoid bitter flavor. Slice in strips and add to liquor and vanilla bean. Steep 23 weeks, strain and filter. Boil together water and sugar for about 5 minutes at a full boil and be sure the sugar is dissolved. Allow to cool. Add sugar syrup to orange liquor and let age for 4 weeks. ENJOY DONT DRINK AND DRIVE THX (DIAMOND DANDY RANDY)

Police Humor Posted: 9/24/2008 9:38:29 AM A police officer stops a man for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and goes running back to the patrol officer and demands to know whyhe is being harassed. So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms. The officer, being a professional, takes it all in stride. The tirade goes on without the cop saying anything. When he gets done with writing the citation, he puts "AH" on the bottom; He then hands it to the violator for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented his copy points to the *AH* and demands to know what it stands for. The officer then removes his mirror sunglasses, gets in the middle of the guys face and says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember you're an A** Hole!" Three months later they're in court. The violator has such a bad record he is about to lose his license so he had hired an attorney to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light. Under cross examination the defence attorney asks, "Officer, is this a reasonable facsimile of the citation you issued my client?" Officer responds, "Yes sir, this is the defendants copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top. Attorney: "Officer is there any particular marking or notation on this citation you don't normally make"? Officer: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an *AH*, underlined". Attorney: "What does the *AH* stand for, officer"? Officer: "Aggressive and Hostile, sir." Attorney: "Aggressive and hostile?" Officer: "Yes Sir." Attorney: "Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for A** Hole?" Officer: "Well Sir, you know your client better than I do...." CHEERS (DIAMOND DANDY RANDY)

(DIAMOND DANDY RANDYS) MAPLE BACON BEER RIBS RECIPE....YUMMYYYY. ------------------------------- Ze Ingredients ============== Das Ribs: 3 x 1 1/2 lb. racks ribs 3 tbsp Barbecue seasoning (use your favorite gourmet seasoning) 2 oranges, sliced 2 bottles Beer (Honey Brown Lager) Ze Sauce: 8 slices bacon, diced 6 cloves garlic, minced 1 small onion diced 1 bottle Honey Brown Lager 1/2 cup Maple Syrup 1/4 cup orange marmalade 1 cup ketchup 1/2 tsp cayenne pepper 1 tsp mustard powder 2 tbsp hot sauce 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce 1/2 tsp liquid smoke salt to taste DAS DIRECTIONS ============== Step #1 Using a sharp knife diamond score the membrane on the backside of the ribs. Rub with BBQ seasoning, pressing the seasoning into the meat. (Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. ) Lay the ribs, meat side down, in a roasting pan. Lay 3 to 4 slices of orange on the back of each rib. Pour in the beer and cover with lid or aluminium foil. Braise ribs in oven for 2 to 2 1/2 hours or until tender. Remove from oven and allow too cool slightly. Step #2 To Prepare the barbecue sauce: In a medium saucepan over medium heat fry the diced bacon until it is half cooked. Add the garlic, onion and continue to fry, stirring until the onions are tender and golden brown. Pour the beer into the pan stirring to loosen the flavourful bits on the bottom. Bring mixture to a rolling boil. Reduce heat to medium low and continue to boil the beer mixture until it is reduced by half. Add the maple syrup, orange marmalade, ketchup, cayenne pepper, mustard, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce and liquid smoke. Return mixture to a boil, reduce heat to low and simmer, stirring occasionally for 15 minutes. Season with salt to taste and set aside. Step #3 (Preheat grill to medium high. ) Remove ribs from pan discarding orange slices and braising liquid. Grill ribs for 6 to 8 minutes per side, until lightly charred. Baste both sides with sauce. Turn grill heat to medium low and close grill lid and allow ribs to slow roast for 10 to 15 minutes until the sauce is sticky and bubbling. Cut between every third rib and cover with the remaining Sauce Sehr Gut! ;) ENJOY CHEERS (DIAMOND DANDY RANDY)