Kinda feeling down lately..gets that way around this time. I have heard of many people who lose someone around this time..you would think we would all be depressed. Anyways..couple years ago my grandma who was also my best friend in life..died day after Christmas. Was hard to deal with. Now my uncle is down with pancreatic cancer. He just found out a month ago..and it seems to be bad right off the beginning. He isn't able to eat or drink..and has went from 140lbs to 125lbs. They been trying to get things arranged.. making him a no code..etc. Hes only 59. Well he was admitted to pallative care in the hospital 2 nites ago. Thats a room where they make you and your family comfortable while patient is dying. Not sure if other hospitals have a room like that or not. First time I ever really dealt with this kinda dying. I was there trying to just talk normally to him.. in my mind..thinking...how awful this is. He looked scared..but was holding up well. I am not much for comforting someone ..its not that I don't care but i just feel I m not good at it. I keep it to myself. Anyways.. not sure how long hes got. Dr. told me a month ago..he didnt think he would make it til next year..because of how fast its spreading. I am not all that close to him but it still hurts. The fact that his kids went wild and have nothing to do with him hurts. Well since they found out.. his son has been around alot lately..and has even appoligized for all the past. I am happy for that. Anyways..enough about all this. Just writing whats been on my mind to let ya know if I rub you the wrong way..by not talking or something..I got alot on my mind.
