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Ocean Dream's blog: "Tainted"

created on 05/06/2007  |  http://fubar.com/tainted/b80261

"Demons"

What being Bipolar means in my eyes Thank you kayla for saving my life with Medication and Education I can beat the "Demons" Lost How can this be? How can I survive,when all I want to do is die.I need you but can't tell you I'm down. so afraid of loosing you.Too afraid to live,to love, to let anyone in.Can't see my beginning, can't seemy ending.Feel like I am blind,walking in a black never endingtunnel of despair.Want to end it all,but too tired and numb to care.I feel you somewhere at the endof the long tunnel, but don't knowhow to get there.Frozen in space and time,I cry out for help and understanding.But no one answers,no one can hear me.For my lips do not move.No sound comes from my mouth.For all I can do is call out fromthe dark frozen tunnels of my mind.My heart frozen in fear,my soul frozen in despair.Oh PLEASE, PLEASElook into my eyes, see me there.Help me, Hold me, Love me. Paint Brush I keep my paint brush with meWhereever I may go,In case I need to cover upSo the real me doesn't show.Afraid of what you'll do-thatYou might laugh or say mean things.I'm afraid I might lose you. I'd like to remove all my paint coatsTo show you the real, true ,me,But I want you to try and understand,I need you to accept what you see.So if you'll be patient and close your eyes,I'll strip off all my coats real slow.Please understand how much it hurtsTo let the real me show. Now my coats are all stripped off.I feel naked, bare and cold,And if you still love me with all that you see,You are my friend, pure as gold.I need to save my paintbrush, though,And hold it in my hand,I want to keep it handyIn case someone doesn't understand.So please protect me, my dear friendAnd thanks for loving me true,But please let me keep my paint brush with meUntil I love me, too.
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