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Grrrr

I can't stand it when people give low rates. I mean what is the flippin point. Sorry just had to rant here.

Secret Misery

Words that were stuck in my head, for well over a week. So, in my hours of boredom at work I finally put the words to paper. There is music in my head but, unfortunately I am unable translate that to paper. Secret Misery I'm drowning in the river. I'm swimming in my pain. No one knows what misery I feel, in such an uncontrollable way. The pain leeches onto me. Trying to suck me dry. While my tears release me from my pain. The unknown torment reaches out to touch me. I struggle as it crawls up my body. I let my tears flow. As they hit my skin they turn to blood. As the tears flow down my body the torment flee's. Leaving me to drown in the river. I'm swimming in my pain. I walk upon the top of the water. Feelin the eyes upon me. I don't look anywhere but, straight ahead in fear that they'll kill me. The unknown races around me. Taunting and tormenting me in an unforgivable way. Leaving me to drown in the river. I'm swimming in my pain. No one knows what misery I feel, in such and uncontrollable way.

Hmmm

Well, it has been awhile since I have been on. Been outta my mind (yeah, ok so whatz new) preparing for school. Finally have the job issue taken care of, or so I can tell. Bought my first lap top. Just waiting for it to get here know. Crap, lost my train of thought.... Oh yeah, I went Kyaking for the first time. This was after some massive convincing. It has got to be the best stress relief I have found. Ok there is only one better, and the ones who get to participate know who they are. Love ya JazzyKitty & Crimson!! So, uh yeah not a clue what else to ramble on at the moment lol. Bye for know!!

So, Happy

Well, I was offered my old job back. Which is great because I miss it. I am know waiting for my phone to ring and be told what shift I am working. I get to start tomorro!!! HAPPY DANCE YAYAY

Sorry...

Sorry for not being around. I lost my job around the second of the new year and have been at a different job, which I am not to thrilled with. I did receive a phone call in which I might be getting my old job back. I will find out tomorro. Hopefully I will be around more often than before. Hugz

Wow

Wow, that is the only word that comes to my mind at this moment. In the last two weeks I have found out wonderful news from friends and family. 1. A close friend and his girlfriend are expecting! 2. A set of friends have announced they are getting married! 3. And my youngest brother called me and was like oh yeah I got married!! My mind is just going { wow }. Ofcourse, as it goes with my youngest brother I have found out before our mother did lol. Anyhow, yeah just had to post this.
I should be happy but, i'm not. I should be ecstatic but, i'm not. I should be curled up with one I love but, i'm not. Instead i'm watching the clock, listening to every footstep outside, and waiting for my phone to ring. I want to break down and let it all out but, I can't make the tears fall. So, I sit here crying a silent wave of tears that refuse to fall.
Background: This started coming to me while waiting for a job interview to start. It will all be completely random until I figure out all the parts of it. I hope you enjoy the reading. It may end up being marked NSFW, just a prewarning. Female in her late 20's. Stands at the height of 5'8". Depending on the day of the week, depends on the color and the length of her hair. Goes from being short, spiky and almost purple, to long flowing red with blonde streaks. Desitination: An old, dark victorian house several miles away from the regular population. Surrounded by carefully maintained grounds. There is also a large, black somewhat omnimous gate. To a first time visitor the only entrance appears through the gate. Most are hesitant to approach due to the man standing on the opposite side of it. He stands 5'10" with pale skin, long jet black hair, and piercing green eyes. He appears as omnimous as the gate itself. {Will be edited as more ideas come to me} On this dark, cold night I walked to my destination. I think to myself why did I come here again? Oh yes, because I have been summoned. Would be wrong not to respond, when one has the privelege of being summoned. There it stands in front of me, the home of my summoner. I pause and mentally go over my appearance. My hair is done just right, tonight it is long colored red with blonde streaks. My makeup was obviously applied very carefully to add some light color to my face. Careful attention paid to my piercing green/blue eyes and soft but, full lips painted in a shade not to light but, not to dark. I bring a hand, with it's painted nails, which match my lips, up to my collared neck, and slowly down over my purple corseted chest and to the bottom of my short dress. I pull my black cloak closer to my body, to keep out the chill of the night. I take a deep breath and walk up to the door. I softly knock and await for my response. As I await I can feel eyes watching me. Knowing that if I turn to spot those watching me I would never see them. This most certainly is not my first nor my last visit to the house. I hear distance howls in the air and smile. The howls are from the house pets. This is the time of night where they are released to wander and do as they wish. I listen carefully and quickly straighten as I hear a sound. At that moment the door in front of me opens. A deep voice says,"Who is it and what is the purpose of your visit?" I respond in a quiet voice,"I am Demie. The purpose of my visit has yet to be disclosed to me as I have been summoned." The door opens and I quickly enter. I do not jump as the door is shut quickly behind me, since it happens every time. After taking a moment to allow my eyes to adjust to the lighting of the house, I take a moment to look around. In front of me is a large foyer, which is covered in wall to wall burgundy carpet. The walls are covered in matching drapes as well as black contrasting. There are black candle holders which have been stragetically placed. I hear a slight sound to my left I turn to look and there is a young female. She asks, in a polite voice, "Demie, may I please take your cloak for you. Your prescence is requested upstairs." I smile and carefully remove my cloak and had it to the female and obediantly head up the large spiral staircase.

Flowing Thoughts

I sit here in front of my computer bored outta my mind waiting on the phone to ring. I can sit here for hours and do nothing but, at the same time my thoughts flow. At times my thoughts flow to fast and others to slow. At this rate I am going to get nothing done...SIGH

Hmmm

Hmm well, lets see. I am sitting here in pure boredom. Praying that one of several interviews works out. This not having a job sucks. So yeah.... thats it for know.
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