harukosbich's blog: "delete yourself "

still cant believe that people read this, but i guess i never will understand the reasons why people do things. its cold outside and i think i can feel it trying to creep into the house. i wish the cold would stay away. i think most people who like the cold, like it because they have an excuse to be close to thier prospective mates. i like it in the summer time, and the fall. i fucking hate tim and eric.

there is no real truth in this life. my mind washes back and forth over a shore not known. just when i think that there is a clear path, the wind blows and the footprints that i follow are erased from existance. where they ever really there @ all. the people that i once thought i knew i find are so far from me. the farther i go, the more i see that everything that i took for reality was just an idea in my minds eye, a ghost, a gas.

there is a fine line between life and existamce. living requires thought and feeling. emotional content is key to life. to exist we only need breath in and out, nothing more. as the passion spills from my soul, i live. as the skin cells flake and fall, i exist. who is to say which is the one way to be, not i. i exist to live and cease to live to exist. keeping distance from my soul.

the mind wwanders away from me, i search but nothing is there. why, i ask, is there no one for me to love? i get no reply. am i not worthy of a lover, only worthy of a lyer? can i not be what someone needs me to be. NO, i am better than the rest of them, and yet, i still stand alone, not so much in the dark, but in the shallow waters of the life that i failed to live. i miss them so much i can no longer feel normal pain, but i can feel the void of a life lost. so, with that being said, i leave this mind and find another place to run and hide. inside myself, i hide.

in the night, the moon so bright

the trees slowly sway

the first hint of light, a lover heald tight

the promise of the day

the springtime flowers, the april showers

anew year will begin

the frozen pond, the leaves have gone

all things must have an end

do i dare stop,stop, sing and smile

and seize the precarious day

or be now old cold and bitter

and slowly waste away