I left Renee's place on Halloween night. (I went down to take her boys, my godsons, trick-or-treating. And to have fun with my best friend, carve a pumpkin, hang out with her family, get candy, hit Eric on the head with my wand... )
I was driving home on the turnpike, and had just gotten onto the Northeast Extension.
12:20AM
Suddenly, a deer leapt down from the hill onto the highway and rammed into my car! To be clear, I did not hit the deer. It most decidedly choose to hit me! I saw it for a split second before it plowed me, and I remember screaming. I remember hearing the loud sickening break as my window shattered and then exploded into my car. The next thing I know, I was pulled on the side of the road and covered in tiny little shards of glass. I had to reach around the glass to find my cell phone and call 911 for help.
The officer was named John. He asked me what city I was in. "Whatever city it is where the Northeast extension of the turnpike starts. What is that? Philadelphia, Plymouth Meeting? I'm not sure." He asked me about a mile marker, which is when I noticed I had managed to park right by one. "20. 20 with a 6 under it." I was too frazzled to think if that would be mile marker 20 and six tenths or what.
Then the officer asked me if I was alright. Humm. I was covered in broken glass. But yes, I seemed to be alright. He told me to look in a mirror to see if I was cut. Nope. The only blood was a tiny cut on my thumb. I was fine, and this is good. Then he asked me how the deer was. I had been looking in my driver's side mirror for a bit now, and cars had been whizzing by in both lanes. With the exception of their headlights, and the mall parking lot lights in the far distance, the road itself was completely dark. I couldn't see a thing. So the officer said he would send someone. I asked him if I should call AAA in the meantime or something, and he said that yes I should. Then he asked me if anyone else was in the car with me.
As I said no, I looked over to my passenger seat. My jacket was sitting there, covered in glass like every other surface of my car. And then my mind was suddenly hit with everything that had just happened. It was only a year and one month ago that someone had ran a red light and hit my old car. What if this car was totaled too? How did I get hit AGAIN??? Am I target practice? I wasn't even speeding. If anything, I was under the limit because I had just merged onto the extension. How could this have happened? And then the question rang in my mind, "Is anyone else in the car with you?" What if John had taken the day off and gone along? What if he had been sitting there beside me? What if a deer had jumped off a bank onto the road and used its antlers to smash my window in and had hit John? No seatbelt or airbag would have helped!
At this point I lost it. I hung up with the officer and called Renee and started crying hysterically, something I don't recall ever doing right after an accident before. In fact, I think I'm usually pretty calm and organized and thinking about whom I'm supposed to call and what names I'm supposed to get and that sort of thing. But now I was mush. She had to figure out where I was, why I was crying like she had never heard me cry before, and what was going on! She did manage to calm me down, as best friends tend to do. I relayed all that happened, and eventually she asked if I ever called AAA or my insurance agency.
So I hung up and called AAA. They said it was already reported and someone was already on their way for me and to just show my card when they got there. Okay. Seconds later, a tow truck showed up.
I think the guy's name was Jeff or Bill, something like that. He was a tall slender older fellow with glasses. I thought he had come to tow me. No. He was just the emergency response person, and was not going to tow me at all. He took a walk to see if he could find the deer. There was no sign of it.
Since I was now out of the car, I brushed some of the glass off of myself and went to look at the damage. Renee had reminded me that I had my camera with me, and therefore should take some pictures in case the insurance company would need them. I looked at my poor car. And really, it didn't look that bad. No dents, no dings, no paint falling off or bent tires. It looked like my passenger side window was gone (if not for the bits of glass, one might have thought it was simply rolled down), and my passenger side mirror was gone (except for a fragment of the arm). That appeared to be all the damage done. [Though, at the time, my mind was still considering that just because it doesn't LOOK bad doesn't mean that underneath there isn't a bent frame or leaks or who knows what. It turns out that there isn't.]
Glass on the floor. What's left of my window.
What's left of my mirror.
So, all in all, I was fine, and the car wasn't to bad. A second tow truck now pulled up as I was finishing taking some pictures. I believe this guy was named Steve. He handed me a business card, but it didn't have his name on it. The guys decided that I should pull my car further off the road. And, since my 4-way/ hazard lights weren't working, that I should just leave my lights on.
Tow truck guy number two already had a mini-van on board which he was towing from an accident, so he couldn't take me. The guys assured me that a third tow truck would arrive in 20 minutes, and that I should just sit tight and wait. So I got back in my car to wait. I called my parents house, waking my mom up, and let her know what happened. I had a Gilmore Girls flashback from the episode where Rory is hit by a deer. (My cousin Amy later IMed me with this same thought. LOL.)
I then called my insurance company. I think I was disconnected the first time. I redialed and eventually got a representative named Lisa who sounded like I woke her up from a dead sleep. I have no idea why this would be, as I did dial an 800 number that was on my insurance card, not a phone number to someone's home. But I don't really know how Allstate has things run. I gave her the details of what happened, and she gave me a claim number, and then a phone number that she said I would want to use later (though she never said why). She then said I have "liability only." I realized that I had no idea what that actually meant. My mind flashed to the movie Twister:
[Jo is salvaging belongings from her crashed truck and looking at Bill's new truck]
Jo: You got full insurance on that truck?
Bill: Liability only.
Jo: [thoughtfully] Liability only...
Jo: It's a very nice truck.
Melissa: [smiling] Thank you.
Bill: Don't even think about it.
[Jo keeps cleaning out her truck]
Bill: No way.
So the Allstate person hangs up with me, and I am again alone on the side of the highway, pulling bits of glass from my hair. I hear the smallest noise (leaves rustling, more glass falling, who knows) and get the paranoid idea in my head that the deer is going to come back to finish the job. I call Renee again and point out that, if this were a horror movie, someone in a hockey mask with a machete would be here to kill me any moment now. Renee said she called my mom to let her know what happened but that my mom hadn't answered. I said that's probably because she was on the phone with me. We laughed. We talked for about another 10 minutes, during which I wondered where on Earth tow truck guy #3 could possibly be. I REALLY REALLY had to go to the bathroom. But this is a big open road, not even a guard rail to hide behind. And I knew that if I went out there to hide by my car and try it, that would be the moment the tow truck would show up. So I just held it.
Finally the tow truck did show up. The driver was a young man named Jared, who some of my friends I'm certain would have hit on the whole ride home. He started hooking up my car and asked what was wrong with it. I told him that I was hit by a deer, and though it looked like just the window and mirror were gone, I wasn't sure if there was anything else. "You're kidding, right? You actually called a tow truck over a window and mirror?"
If he had been there an hour ago and seen me all shaken up and covered in glass, maybe he would have been a bit nicer about this. Maybe not. Either way, I pointed out that I do pay for AAA plus membership and have the free towing, so it seemed better to use it then to possibly get pieces of glass in my eye while trying to drive, or get a ticket for not having a passenger side mirror. And, as I said, I wasn't sure if there was other damage underneath that I simply couldn't see. (I decided not to mention to this cheeky guy that I wasn't even sure if I could drive at this moment because I was still shaken up pretty good and jumping out of my skin every time I heard something in the woods. The last time I remember being this scared I was a child. Why a deer should bother me more then any other thing, I don't know. Situations where people are normally afraid don't seem to have much effect, but toss a deer at my window and I panic. It makes no sense.)
So I decided that, since I was going to be stuck in a vehicle with this guy for the next hour of my life at least, I had to find a way to get him to be nicer to me, or at least not make me feel like I should burst into tears for calling for help after getting attacked by a wild animal who was possibly trying to impress some female as part of mating season! I offered to pick his wooden blocks off the road for him. "No, don't touch them. They're probably to dirty for you." Oh great, he thinks I'm one of those princess types.
I went about making pleasant conversation. I found out that he had gotten off of work at midnight, but was on-call with three different places until 7am. So he was getting paid overtime to come get me. I made that sound like something one should be ecstatic about, when in my head I was screaming "So why are you being grumpy with me if you're getting overtime??? And, hello, you did CHOOSE this job, didn't you?" We discussed driving various vehicles, and I mentioned that I used to drive a forklift. This is when he finally started warming up to me, perhaps because Princesses do not drive forklifts. He told me that he also occasionally drives a limo for some rich fellow, and that he has to do this on Thursday. The guy apparently requests Jared specifically every time he flies to this area. (I suppose he's never asked the rich guy, "Are you serious? You really want to take a LIMO somewhere??"...)
The rest of the ride was alright. I found out that, from the Quakertown exit, the only open gas station at this time of night is the Turkey Hill in Coopersburg. (Where I finally got to use a bathroom, and Jared got himself some coffee.) We arrived at my family's house at 2:37 am. (Some of you will get why that time is funny. For the rest of you- it's in the address. Also the house number used in several horror films, such as SAW II. The number tends to 'stalk' me.)
I left my dad a note, and my mom and I covered my car with a tarp. Since my lights had never been turned off, the car battery was now dead. Something we noticed as Jared was pulling out of the driveway- just out of shouting range.
So far, my dad has found a mirror for me on e-bay. I still need a window, which we're going to look at the junk yards and glass shops for. Apparently, "liability" means that when a deer hits you, you get to pay for it.
John said that this is what I get for eating venison stew and deer jerky all the time. Hee hee.
Renee pointed out that, earlier on Halloween, I was laughing at a Dodge Durango with the "Don't dodge it, RAM it" window sticker (Isn't that a sticker for a Dodge Ram? Did they miss the joke?), and now a deer had taken the advice! Perhaps it had a tattoo like that which I didn't see in the dead of night. Ha ha.
Renee's mom pointed out that, since my accident was at 12:20am, I was actually hit on All Saints Day, not Halloween. Nice to know. (It was also my cousin Brandon's birthday.)
And that is the story of the deer that went trick-or-treating on the turnpike, and choose to do TRICK on me!
