Deena's blog: "Deena's ramblings"

OZ I watched The Wizard of Oz tonight with my son Aidyn. It was interesting and fun watching it through a child's eyes again. For one thing I didnt' realize that meeting the scarecrow, tinman and Lion happened so quickly after each other. As a kid it seemed it was much more time between the moments they met. Also it kind of freaked me out that Dorthy ran away because they took her dog. As a kid I remember it mad COMPLETE LOGICAL sense for a girl to run away from home because her dog was being taken from her, as an adult I forgot that. Dorthy did alot to save her dog. I even remembered what it felt like to have your puppy climb up onto your lap and curl up and sleep. I haven't had a dog since I was 20yrs old. I am 37 and have no plans for a furry friend (too much work) but tonight when I saw Toe Toe climb up on Dorthy's lap I remembered my dogs that have passed and how much I loved them. Also having my second son Aidyn watching the movie with me was ........... magical. Man that kid is so like me. I don't know if that is a good thing or not. But it is sure nice to have someone who likes the same things as me for a change. Anthony (son #1 and Todd (husband) are NEVER into the things I like. Well Ansen and Arris (son #3 and 4) were invited to watch the movie too but they decided to go and watch another movie in their room.... whatever screw teh bond with MAMA LOL It was an eye opener watching the movie again after many years. Interesting and fun. I am glad I watched it with Aidyn. He told me he wants to watch it again next weekend with me and that he loved it. That's my boy. Maybe I will get us tickets to go see Wicked at Aidyn's next appointment in Toronto. I know I will be close to tears watching it with him. He is such a great kid (they all are) but it is times like this that I see their individual greatness......... the things that make them unique from one an other. Make them Anthony, Aidyn, Ansen, Arris and Avery. Not just son #1,2,3,4,5. I might have 5 boys but Man there is NOTHING the same about them. I am now watching 12 Monkeys staring Brad Pitt and Bruce Willis (who I named my #1 son after cause he is so GREAT.... middle name not first) It reminds me why I like Brad Pitt as an actor. He plays CRAZY really good.

I finished Rosie O'Donell's book last night. It took me less than 24hrs to read the entire book. It was an easy read and it kept my attention the entire time. She has a keen sense of style and I did get her imagery. I don't completely understand her. She is alot like me and then alot like the type of person I don't care for. Meaning the ones who boo hoo about all the bad things that happened in their lives and can't move past it. I don't like that. It is the one thing I hate MOST if I do it too. Also I don't get her fasination with the girl Stacie/Melissa etc... I don't understand why she was so drawn to this person and why she allowed herself to get so sucked up into her life. That I dont' get, and how she responded to the entire thing... but then again who am I to judge, who am I to say what is right or wrong. It was an interesting book into the mind of a Star. I cried when she wrote about Parker's adoption. Man that hit home as a MOM to 5 boys. I cried actually at a few parts in the book. Like I said she reminds me alot of myself. I know things too. Just know it, can't explain it and dont' bother trying to. I get feelings. She calls them spingles or something like that I get the willies and the hair on my arms stands up on end. Same thing different wording. Me and my Soul Cards etc.. it is all the same. We would have fun having a Soul Card party night. I want to meet Rosie one day. I have always had an image of me seated in front of her talking about my book. Maybe one day it will come true. Time will tell. I am now reading Amy Tan The bonesetters Daughter. I haven't read Amy Tan in AGES and when I bought this book it was when it first came out a few yrs back. I put it on my night stand and there it sat for several yrs. For some reason it was the book that called to me to read last night so I am 1/4 way through it and remembering why I like Amy Tan's writing so much. Did you know that Amy Tan and Stephen King are FRIENDS!?!? That they are in a band together along with several other writers?? I read it in ON WRITING by Stephen King. I thought that was cool. Amy Tan is an excellent writer. I figured she and Stephen King would be cool people HAHA Still not feeling good. The ever present headach has now reached week 4. I dont' get how a flu can last this long... I really pitty people who suffer migranes... It is awful AWFUL. I was never one for headaches till now. OUCH is all I can say and put me out of my misery! Well that is enough rambling for today, the migrane is full force and my ears are ringing. The computer makes me dizzy and I have a bottle of wine chilling, calling out my name.Oh yeah WINE will make the head boo boo go away.

Haven't been around lately cause I have been feeling sick. I am on the mend though and back on top. I just finished reading Self-defense by Jonathan Kellerman and I have to say it was OK. Not the best of his I have read but OK. I still don't get the title though.. I mean, I didn't read anything to have to do with SElf-denfense. Unless it is the girl's dream that was her self-defense against knowing the truth about what she wittnessed 21yrs ago??? I don't but the title makes no sense to me. I am now reading Find me by Rosie O'Donnel. I am surprised how easy it is to read. I have always liked Rosie and am enjoying her book. It isn't what I expected and that is a pleasant surprise. Anyways I haven't been writing at all on THE LAST BOY. I did go through it the other day but I "think" I am experiencing some writers block... ick... I just have alot of loose ends left and the book would be finished (well ready for tweaking that is for sure) and I can't seem to tighten those loose ends. I know I will, I know it will come to me but right now I am drawing a blank. I hope it ends soon. OH I am HATING LOST. I use to love that show so much but now it just doesnt' make sense. It is like they are trying to be out there. There are so many questioins left unanswered. For example, Michael and Walt are off the show, so what does that mean??? Does that mean then we will never find out about Walt's specialness?? How he would see things and then suddenly they would be real?? Bird?? Polar Bear?? Nothing now about them. It was like what was the point of them ever being in the show??? Also what the HELL was that with Mr. Echo last week??? Hello!?!?!? What was the point of bringing him into the show at all?? And where is CHarlie and Claire and baby Aaron?? So many unanswered questions that seem will never be answered now becuase everything is on to "The Others" It is like the other cast memebers don't exsit anymore. I don't like it. I am not sure I am going to watch it anymore. Still love HEROES! Lets hope though it doesn't turn out like LOST and have tons of unanswered questions, never to be answered. Lost just went to far out there. Sucks.

hmmmm I dont' think Last Cherry is a place to meet other who are interested in anything other thatn sex and sex and meeting people to have sex. All I am seeing is SEX SEX SEX. Not that I am against sex.. I am not I actually enjoy sex but not looking for it here or there or ANYWHERE. But I will be honest I find everytime I come on here I almost feel like I am in a porno store. I don't know if this is my venue. That is ok if it isn't. I was hoping to meet people who thought beyond t&A and I have met one.... but that is it. I was hoping to chew the fat about books and other interests you know OTHER things beside how big my boobs are and how hot I might looK. It is really hard to meet people now adays with similar interest. I really really wish that there was a writers group (doesnt have to be proffessional!! could be just people's interest in books!!) or even just personal interests in LIFE. Owell I will try it out for a bit longer. It is fun to blog, even if it isn't about my orgasms and how long and hard they are.

SOOOO I WENT to the SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE show in Toronto last night and WHAT A GREAT TIME!!! Loved the atmosphere of the audience SCREAMING out for these suddenly famous DANCERS!! WOO HOO! It was great! And I have to admit I think I have given Teens a bad wrap... THEY DO HAVE TASTE! I was bad thinking that they only liked things with instant gratification via tecno new age blah blah blah.. you get the picture, well I was close to tears listening to the screams coming from these teens as though they were at a rock concert.. and why??? Because of a CONTEMPORAY DANCE ROUTINE!?!?!?!?! Wow, I am STUND... also the same response over a waltz??? All I have to say is I am sorry teens.. I misjudged you, you do have taste. I better stop acting like the parents when I was a teen. Regardless the show was great. I loved it, and the only complaint I have it that I hated my seats... I wanted to be CLOSER, and that Ivan wasn't there... that sucked. I loved Ivan on the show and really was disappointed he wasn't there. Wonder why he wasn't there?? I think it has something to do with him crossing the border... just a thought. The evening was fun and topped off with my mom and I trying to meet the dancers after the show.. we stood in the cold along with many many screaming teenage girls and when they came out... NOTHING, all I got was pics of the tops of many people's heads.. so we left and at our hotel while standing outside several motorcycle cops came right up to the hotel lobby followed by a cop car and a "driver" in a turban... when we went in a hotel "security guy" was going up the same elevator as us and I asked is someone important here?? Which he was very kind and talkitive...... talking right out of the question HAHA! It was an interesting night, and I know my mom had a blast... I wish I was 15 again and still able to dream about becoming a dancer... it is good to dream and that show I know has put dreams in many a young persons heart last night. Loved it.

I figured I would share one of my poems that I have in my Poem book called Butterfly Madness a collection of Poems. For some reason my poems sometimes can be dark and I am not a dark person or so I think HAHA. Newest Child ~~~ Tick tock Here the clock Wonder what to do Drip drop Over in the corner Snow is turning to dew Feeling funky Body is thumping Something in the works Can’t quit see it But can feel it Something coming out Hush hush Little one Can’t you hear? The drum? It’s Pounding Pounding Louder and louder Calling out your name Creeping Crawling Feeling something Can’t quite figure it out But it is there Even if not fully aware Call it what you want Tension building Holding strong The feeling of something wrong Is gone Hoping Praying Coming true I think I clearly see you Far from sight Yet very close The time is near I’ve made the most Here it is And what a surprise The thing I search Was always before My eyes Love you Sweet beautiful child Call you my own But that seems mild You are far from that You see You were always There for me Now it’s clear Before the world You are here But for your own Such as it Should always be Life is precious Like a seed Watch the magic Of it grow Ticking Tocking Like the clock Dripping Dropping Like the snow ~~~ This Poem I wrote about a month or so before my 5th son was born... he was a "surprise" baby. I was done having children and had some issues to deal with when I found out I was having another child. Thank goodness for surprises.

So I finished The Children of Men and all I have to say is ........hmmm....... disappointing. It was really really disappointing. I hope the movies is better. I think they could take the concept and really make it an interesting movie. And since the movie is BASED on the book it probably won't be ANYTHING like the book... I really hope anyways cause now that I have read the book I know I will want to see the movie and if it is better or God forbid WORSE. So I am going to start reading Between Sisters by Kristin Hannah. It isn't rocket science but I sure do enjoy her stories. THey are simple and easy and enjoyable. THey don't make you think or anything and I pretty much guess the entire book in the first chapter but I do that with most movies too. I like books like this, like I like a good chick flick. If I am in the mood then I am in the mood. I do think though that I am getting in the mood for something alittle more gritty and so I think I am going to read Billy Straight by Jonathan Kellerman after Between Sisters. I love Jonathan Kellerman and haven't read one of his books in a few yrs. Soul Card reading on Sat was fun, except for one phyco bitch who freaked out on me because she wasn't hearing what she wanted to hear. Whatever, dont' shoot the messenger lady, specially when the message is FREE and asked for. SHEESH. Feel alittle under the weather today. Going to go watch Heroes my new fav show in a moment. Oh and no more Ghost sightings... I think "he" is gone. Maybe Sylvie Brown DOES no what she is doing HAHA

So I have to say I am actually getting into The CHildren of Men bye P.D. James. At first I was annoyed with her constant use complex language but as I keep reading it isn't bugging me as much.. Hey maybe it is an English thing and all writers from England speak/write like that. WHo knows, needless to say I have begun to finally enjoy the book and am waiting to see when the pregnant girl shows up... I know there has to be one cause my son showed me the previews of the movie based on the book (why I wanted to read it) and well someone has to get pregnant because what would be the point of the book if it was just about THE END OF MAN. It wouldn't be called THe Children of Men just The End of Men or maybe even Dead men walking or something funky like that. Today I was thinking about different writers etc.. and also about some of the writers on some of the readers groups I belong too. We are a strange group us writers. Sometimes a very ego maniac group (me included sometimes) I get a kick out of them trashing Dan Brown and how horrible of a writer they say he is when not one of them is a best selling Author. I personally couldn't get into Angels and Demons and so I haven't even tried the Da Vanci code but lets face it!?!?! MANY PEOPLE LOVED IT! I mean not alittle love it but a WHOLE LOT of Love. How could so many people be wrong?? Besides to me when many people love what you wrote you have a winner. You aren't goign to please everyone. I wish I had HALF the readers Dan Brown does. Owell maybe one day. I would love to belong to a writer's group that doesn't TRASH other writers and feel it is their duty to correct people's grammer, spelling etc... when posting on a F'en message board. I have dyslexia I am never going to spell well and to be honest, my grammer sucks. But that isn't what is going to make my writing suck or be great... the story and how it is told is what will make or break it. I have read some of the biggest offenders, stories and well lets just say..... shut up a.. hole. Just because you wrote a book doesn't make it readable. Anyways off my rant. And besides someone may think my writing sucks, and to them it would... but as long as I have my "fans" telling me different I dont' really care who thinks it sucks. RIght!?!? Right! Speaking of dishing best selling Authors, I am just as bad though with James Frey's book A million little pieces........ dont' even get me started on what I think of that piece of verbal crap. I know I know I am doing exactly what I said I hate but I get alittle ticked that this guy wrote a novel called in non-fiction and everyone believed him!??!?! I mean COME ON, I read several pages (and that was enough for me) on Oprah's site when he first came on her show... I knew the moment I read those pages he was LYING and not because I can spot one a mile long... it was common sense... I seriously doubt he would have ever been allowed on a commerical flight, out of his mind covered in blood and puke.. I dont' need to be a genius to know that WOULD NEVER happen. They wouldn't have allowed his doped up beaten up person aboard. This was the insert on Oprah's site, and in his book. Anyways, that is my rambling for today. My friend Sylvie is here and we are going to go have a Soul Card party.. it is like Tarot cards yet BETTER!!

So ok I mentioned before about my ghost and how I think it is a boy etc.(Saw him etc.. and other creep events before this one). well the other night my hubby goes to put the 3 middle boys down to sleep. He comes out of the room and says what the hell is that noise?? Is some toy running out of batteries etc??? So I go in and sure enough there is this high peircing noise and I can't tell where it is coming from. It sounds like a toy is running out of batteries but it is making this high whining screaching eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sound. So I start tearing apart the closet trying to find this toy. I mean tearing it apart.. the kids have alot of toys... So anyways I am half way through one toy box and I hear this breathing sound loud and clear and the boys hear it too. I think that it is this Rabbit we have that makes snoring sounds and has freaked me out in the past.... the thing is this isnt' sounding like snoring sounds it is more like a heavy breathing sound.. but I am not concerned cause even though it doesn't sound like snoring it does sound like the rabbit... this rabbit is fairy big so I start digging deeper trying to find it and thinking well maybe it is the one running out of batteries.. well I take EVERYTHING out of the two toyboxes in the closet..... as I am getting closer to the bottom the LOUD breathing stops but the eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee screaching doesn't. Anyways NO RABBIT... NONE at all........ then I remember, I cleared out a ton of toys that spring and gave them to charity. Snoring Rabbit was one of them. I remembered putting him in the bag with other toys and say GOOD RIDENCE you creepy little bunny. Meanwhile Todd is listening everywhere in the room for where this damn Noise is coming from.. It sounded like the closet but then it sounded like it was coming from the ceiling fan..... the noise is becoming extreamly annoying. Now I am feeling slightly creeped out because the Rabbit isn't there I heard the deep rabbit sounding breathing and this eeeeeeeeeeeee noise is driving me mad... I remember what Sylvie Brown said about annoying spirits and think well what do I have to loose... it stopped some creepy stuff a while back from happening might as well give it a try again. So I say not to loud to freak the kids out, into the closet I say "Go into the light, you ARE NOT welcome here, STOP IT." I think to myself if the noise stops I am going to Shit myself. It doesnt'......... for about 45 seconds.........THEN IT STOPS. I have not heard the noise since. Now even my hubby is starting to get freaked. He is starting to believe me. Pfff... I would have THOUGHT he would have beleived me when he "THOUGHT" one of the boys came into our room and kissed him one night when in FACT the boys were all snug in their beds.... someone kissed him but it wasn't any of our kids......... So we will see what happens next, one thing is I am NOT AFRAID, whoever it is, isn't a threat. But either way I want him GONE, I don't like having a ghost around!!

So I was up again till nearly 2 last night working on that DAMN Fairy Tale book. You think I have a slight OCD problem!?!?!? Noooo not me. I find it funny that the conditions I show most problems are the ones I have debated feverishly about in the past that "don't exsit". You know, I am ALWAYS the one who has to eat Crow... sheesh. Well I better go wash my hands for the 100th time today, they aren't quite bleeding yet. Who needs meds? Not me.