Curtain Rods
She spent the first day sadly packing her belongings into boxes,
crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down on the floor in the dining room by
candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound
of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited
a few half-eaten shrimp and caviar, into the hollow of the curtain
rods.
She replaced the end caps on the curtain rods, cleaned up the kitchen,
and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for
the first few days.
Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything,
cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canister, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and they even paid to replace the
expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they
could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to
return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going.
He told her they were selling the house but did not tell the real reasons.
She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly,
and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for
getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea about the smell, he agreed on a price that
was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to
sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork
for her to sign.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched
the moving company pack everything to take to their new home,
including the curtain rods.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU? *Thanks to Amy for letting me borrow this, although she doesn't know I actually borrowed it, lmao*
