CantSleepClownsWillEatMe's blog: "Back in the States"

I think its day 9.... Things aren't getting a whole lot easier being back in the states. Sure I was able to see him this weekend on cam off and on, but it wasn't enough to satisfy me. I sound greedy I know, but when it comes to Rudi, I absolutely cant get enough of him. The other night I was really negative when I was talking to him and that was not a good thing! He straight out told me that if I wanted it to work I needed to try to remain positive for both him and I. Which after some thinking, I must say that I do have to agree with him. Tomorrow I am going to apply for a phone job (doing surveys), because its something easy, and they don't have to invest money in me and wont miss me when I leave in 3 months to go back to Germany. That is something else Rudi said to a friend of mine, is that I need to get a job so I keep my mind busy, its not so much about the money its just when I have nothing to do I sit there and analyze and pick apart every situation there is. He is so optimistic, while I am very pessimistic. Can people change? I would like to become optimistic as well, just not sure how to change my thinkings in that direction when I do analyze everything.