so what should you value more in your life the love of a man who you have invested time, money, blood, sweat, and tears with. a man who you thought was your knight in shining armor. the one who treated you like a princess every waking moment for the first few years. a man who when i told him i was pregnant he cried. the first time i had ever seen a tear come from his eye. at that moment i thought my life would be bliss. i found a man who seemed as though he worshiped me. i had never had that in my life. i grew up shy trying not to get in peoples way so i wouldnt have to hear the cruel remarks about my weight or my clothes. if i would or could have been a little more assertive. i decided in high school if i didnt make a move i would never have what i wanted. for the next 7 months of my pregnancy everything was great, except his drinking. i have so many people in my family that are alcoholics i thought it was natural. i remember going to the hospital the day of my c-section, i was nervous excited, anxious, scared, everything a woman goes through while getting ready to have a baby. when my son was born, i heard his cry, i cried, i looked at my husband and the tears that rolled down his cheek was enough to melt my heart. at that moment i felt everything would be as i always wanted, things faded quick. my csection was hard on me, i had never been through such an ordeal.he waited on me hand and foot for 3 weeks. he did everything for me, he rubbed my feet, put lotion on my scar, took care of the baby.after chris was a few weeks old and he was back to work the drinking resumed. everynight i would wait up for him to spend time with only for him to get blitzed and play on the computer. then came the usual phrases, i need to spend more time with friends, i need to get out and have my free time. what about my free time, my entire day revolved around a newborn. i finally found the true meeting of unconditional love my son. he smiled, he cooed, he squeaked. my hubby went and had his friends time i had baby time. needless to say we were both flabbergasted when i found out a disc in my back had ruptured which resulted in 1 of 3 back surgeries. the most painful things i think anyone can go through, so because of the chronic pain i was zoned out on painkillers. my hubby didnt like it one bit.he told me it was like having to deal with 2 kids instead of 1. then came the constant barrage of insults, putdowns and snide remarks. my dream seemed to be slipping away...
