Dating when you're a teenager is painful. Dating when you are a 35 year old single mother is excrutiating! You thnk that a boy can break your heart when you're 16? They can crush you when you're my age!
Remember how boys acted back then? All cocksure, arrogant, raging hormones? Add to that 20 years of women who weren't secure enough in their own sexuality to tell them that they aren't the world's greatest lover, 20 years of thinking that they have a magic cock and can preform oral sex with the same skill that an opera singer can perform an aria.
First off, where do you meet a "nice" guy? I certainly don't want to hang out in a bar. I don't drink a lot and I don't smoke (anymore, just quit last month, yea me!!) I certainly don't want to date the kind of guy who hangs out in a bar all the time. And the few times that I have gone to bars - to see my friend's band - the guys are all married. One guy I met (totally not wearing a ring) was hitting on me like crazy, telling me how beautiful I was (should have known then that he was a liar!) and asked me out. He asked for my number so I took his phone and called myself with it, then told him that he would have my number. He did ask me out that night, then called me after I left the bar, talked to me for hours, asked me out again...and I didn't hear from him the next day. I asked my friend in the band about him...didn't hear anything. Went up to see the band play again on Sunday (the hot guy who hit on me was going to be doing the sound) and my friend pulls me aside and says "honey, i'm so sorry, but he's married". Damn! Just my luck! I went up to hottie to say hello and he hugged me and I said "so...forget to tell me that you're married?" He said "oh, I thought you knew". WHY THE HELL WOULD I ACCEPT A DATE WITH YOU IF I KNEW YOU WERE MARRIED????
Internet dating isn't all that great either! Guys (and girls) will put pictures up of themselves that were taken 15 years ago just because they look good. Hell, I have one of when I was 15 and I looked about 21, I was smoking hot...but I don't put it up because I don't look like that anymore. I may never be a size 8 again but I'm still pretty damn good looking for an "old" lady! And not all men want a woman that is skin and bones. Sometimes you do meet a nice guy online. You can email back and forth for weeks, call, talk for hours and think that everything is awesome. You can even meet them and have a wonderful time...and they can lead you on for 6 weeks and then send you a damn text message telling you that they never wanted a girlfriend, just a FWB. Yeah, would have been nice to tell me that when you first met me!
Sometimes you end up sleeping with them on the first date. Hey, is that expected nowadays? I met my (ex) husband when I was 19 and was married at 21. I haven't dated seriously since I was in my teens! I didn't sleep around then, why should I do it now? Because I'm an adult, because I've already had sex more than a few times in my life? Because (as my ex boyfriend put it) "we're sexually active people, if we're attracted to each other, why shouldn't we have sex?" Hmm...if you have sex on the first date, what is there to look forward to later on? Where is the seduction?
The married girls that I work with keep telling me that one of these days, I will meet "the right guy". One that won't care that I have 2 children? How many guys are out there that will fall in love with the children as well as the mother? I hated when my (ex) husband tried to discipline our kids. I almost killed my ex boyfriend when he smacked my youngest son. I told him that if he ever touched my child again I would kill him in his sleep. Ok, maybe that wasn't too nice, but it was not his place to discipline my kid. He wasn't my husband or even my fiance. He was just my boyfriend.
Every guy that I've met seems to just want to be "friends with benefits". I don't want a fuck buddy. I want someone to fall in love with, someone to share my life with. I don't want to sleep with every guy I meet or have someone that I can call just when I'm horny. I want someone that I can do things with, share things with. Someone who cuddle with me on cold nights. So what's a single girl to do?
