So there are two pieces to this puzzle:
1) How to get a girlfriend.
2) How to not screw it up when you get one.
HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND
Here are some ideas for how to GET a great girlfriend:
1) Realize that attractive, intelligent, amazing women are IN DEMAND. They are RARE (I believe that a man who has his life together and understands women and attraction is FAR RARER, but that's a different conversation).
2) Because these women are rare and in demand, they usually have a lot of EXPERIENCE with men. And guess what? MEN ARE VERY PREDICTABLE. Men usually ask women out in one of a few PREDICTABLE ways... and they usually act one of a few PREDICTABLE ways on dates... and they usually respond in one of a few PREDICTABLE ways after the date... etc.
3) When it comes to the unusually attractive, desirable women, they have usually had a LOT of men who have "fallen" for them "too quickly". In other words, when they meet a guy who falls for them quickly, they RECOGNIZE it instantly, and RESPOND to it by RUNNING away.
4) If you want to get one of these desirable women to consider a RELATIONSHIP with you, you need to NOT act like one of the other 100 boring guys she's gone out with.
5) It is VITALLY important that you learn everything you can about women and dating before you go looking for a long-term relationship with a fantastic woman. The point is that you have to KEEP WORKING on it. Don't just learn a few things and think "OK, I've got it".
6) You must give an unusually attractive woman SPACE. You can't call her every day, tell her that you're in love with her two days after you've met her, chase her around, always ask what she's doing, etc. You must give this special woman THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU.
7) When you're in her presence, you must not treat her like you desperately want and need her approval. There's a way to do ANYTHING and have it mean ANYTHING. Whatever you do, don't try to "impress" her, act apologetic for anything about yourself, or otherwise give away your personal POWER. EVER.
8) If you have a life, stay with it. If you don't have a life, get one. Don't sit around wondering what she's doing, calling her, telling her how you "feel", etc. If she wanted another "girlfriend", she'd get one. So don't act like one. Desirable women want men who are INDEPENDENT, and who give them SPACE. In fact, if anything, you need to give a woman like this TOO MUCH space. You want HER to be the one who is calling YOU to figure out what you're up to.
9) If you sense that this woman is "testing" you by being difficult, trying to change plans with you on short notice all the time, etc. then RELAX. Lean back. Never let her "get away" with anything just because she's beautiful, or let her have any "special privileges" because you like her. NEVER.
10) If you want a long-term relationship, let it DEVELOP over time. I personally don't think it's a good idea to even CONSIDER having a relationship with a woman until you have known her for a MINIMUM of 90 days. MINIMUM! If you take this mindset, it will FORCE you to chill out and let things develop over time, instead of trying to "force" them. You'll be VERY different from the other guys she's dated, and you'll find that SHE starts letting the "I have special feelings for you" talk slip out.
I'm suggesting a way of thinking, behaving, and communicating that is VERY different from the way most men think, behave, and communicate. It is "counter intuitive"... it doesn't really seem to make sense at first. And it is NOT what your FEELINGS will tell you to do if you're not experienced with women.
HOW TO NOT SCREW IT UP WITH THE GIRL YOU HAVE
Now I'm REALLY getting into territory that I don't usually talk about, but I'll take a few minutes and comment on a few things...
I personally think one of the biggest mistakes men make with women comes down to GIVING AWAY PERSONAL POWER. This usually means acting apologetic, allowing a woman to "get away" with things that subtly put her "in control" of you, and behaving like a WUSSY.
Women don't feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for men who give away their power. Women aren't attracted to WUSSIES. And what do most men do once they get into a long-term relationship? Of course...They start acting like Wussies. Go figure, huh?
And another of the biggest mistakes that men make with women is acting BORING AND PREDICTABLE. These are two sides to the same coin. Most guys do this right from the beginning, and kill any chances of having ANY kind of success with a woman. But the REAL challenge comes when you get into a longer relationship with a person... because they get a chance to LEARN what to expect. In other words, it's harder to not act boring and predictable with someone who has known you for a long time.
But you MUST do it if you want to keep the magic alive!
What I'm trying to say is that it's not enough to get a woman to say "Yes, I want to be in a relationship with you" or "Yes, I want to marry you". You're going to wake up in five years, and still have to MAKE your relationship great. Just because it's great now doesn't mean that you can "let it slide".
