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dated 1/5/03

I wrote this for a start up paper when I moved back to Northern VA from Shephardstown WV With the Washington Monument in view, beer in hand and cops flashing outside I will begin to tell you about life in the burbs of D.C. It’s Friday after new years and I’m without companion at DR Dremo’s tap house in Arlington. I drink dead guy because for the first time in more than a year I have money again. But we can come back to my immediate surroundings when I can stir up some action. When I first moved back, Falls Church seemed like the big city. Shepherdstown is a bipolar cocoon that protects you from the oddities of many worlds. The greater metro area is like commerce on meth with a moment of sitcom like clarity. Many people here feed from and perpetuate the idea of an almost royal corporate pecking order. You are your address, you are your car, you are your connections and absolutely you are how you make money. It should be expected from those with Acura’s and million dollar homes but the poor buy into too. We’re sore about it but many still aspire to middle management and office jobs with a 401k. They all believe the lie, “You are what you do!” It’s one of the reasons I’m not actively socializing now. Inevitably it’s the first thing someone here will ask is “What do you do?” If I tell the truth about working at Trader Joes most will say they love that place but still some how still mange to tell me about there crappie office job. Employment rank is a first strike blood sport that takes to many conversations. A gleam will appear in there eyes once they rightfully assume they make more money than I do. Random citizen is a few gold stars ahead in the corporate pecking order. It’s creepy because I was very much apart of the lie. When I first moved to Shepherdstown it was inevitably one of the first things I asked you wonderful lunatics. On the other gland it’s absolutely liberating and wonderful to be anonymous when you want to be. Fortunately I have a Smitty here so I can pick and chose times to be an independent explorer of metro life. Tonight at this bar there are hundreds of people and I only know the bartender. Infinite amounts of hotties run wild here. Most you should just assume are insane. It saves wasted energy and frustration. Also because of population density people can perpetually wait for one better. Woman can get it if they are skeptical; have a target and a sense of humor. Today I saw something that gave me hope. Gorilla Retail! I went to buy a few CD’s and was warped into a full out shopping orgy. The over worked young cashier didn’t charge me for “Mr. Show” first/second season DVD or the second season of Futurama. Now I have been giving people stuff from Trader Joes since I started. A few unscaned mango’s here, a bottle of wine there. This kid collectively gave me 90 dollars in DVDs. I want to take this time to thank him properly and make a call to all corporate cashiers worldwide! “Hit the fuckwaste where it hurts!” give to anyone you think might be cool and won’t call attention to it. You’ll make there day and be part of a redistribution of goods that needs to happen. Along with the never-ending hotties and cornucopia of bad jobs you can hop from like a crab hoping from one warm patch of public mass to anther, there is a wealth of diverse cultures here. Not just 8 black people and a Portah Rican but serous culture from every culture. It’s so random and beautiful to get in deep conversations with someone from a completely different world that knows nothing of the corporate gray hell warrior stomping US now. Until they arrive here. It’s so refreshing to hear the way new arrivals bitch about our lack of individual freedoms. Ok, one of the hottie bartenders came over to see if I was ok. I’m just scribbling away in the notebook and she complemented my shirt. Bless you Chenita, bless you and your keen instinct on yard sale fashion. The shirt takes to long to describe but is wonderful. The hottie and the unexpected complement took me buy surprise. My tongue deserves to be punished but I don’t want to give it “the fear” as the night is still young and I’m not leaving yet. Fuck, had to Change floors, some anal residue snuck a football game on the 12 buy five mini movie screen. The energy changed and I can’t write with team cheers and that much useless testosterone around me. So in conclusion it’s not that bad of a place to live, assuming you don’t have to pay rent. It defies my capacity of reason that organized rebellions have not already started here. The Latino population here is a generation or two from taking over and I can’t wait. There a hard working people with an instinct of celebration that rivals a good many of you slackers. So I say stay put till the Mexicans take over. It’s predicted there will be a major housing market crash when the babe boomers retire. One of the highest populations of people will quite there jobs, sell there homes and move towards warmer climates. It’s predicted this will cause a major drop in property value and a spike in skilled worker wedges. Shit, I just looked up and realized I was the only person here alone scribbling all over a notebook. I lack motivation to try get to know any of these tools so I’m homebound for Peruvian mid grade, and all and some free DVD”S.
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