HUN37's blog: "DarkAngel37"

My heart is breaking from with in my soul. Everything I known to be true seems to be a lie, Why do I fall in love so easily when all I get is Pain and hurt all over again. I cry for you to be my love long last the one I have Looked for all my life. You break my heart with words that make me cry inside The laughter I feel now is only fake when outside it once Was true . My feelings are leaving my broken heart I feel the pain growing Inside and yet I want to cover it up and never let it show. Why do you make me smile the way that you can, is it my Heart that urns for you deep within or is it just that I cant Bare to be with out you in my life any more, I’ve searched for you since my younger days and now that I have found you I feel I should let you go .. Maybe its that I have fallen in love with you that blurs my Wanting to let go of you that makes me stop and think.. You say that you love me yet in my hear I feel the opposite Of those feelings .. You brought out feeling inside that I wanted to die but now I Just want them deadened once again to feel no more pain.. To stop hurting , crying, wanting that love I though I found In you my love.. Maybe I’m just feeling that anger that came back inside Of me again that Is making me feel this way. Why do you hurt me the way that you do is this some sort of Mellow dramatic game that I am suppose to play along with. Am I your pawn in your game of life that needs to feel That fake feeling of love that you say you have for me inside Your heart.. I want to believe that you love me but now I don’t think that you Do its like some sort of lie that only gets bigger as the days go on.. Its like that song unconditional love but now to me its like I have Conditions to my life with you .. Win . Loose or draw. It seems that way to me now , I either win or I Don’t , well maybe I just lost the game and I just don’t know it .. Are you really what I think that you are my answer to my dreams To my life and my ever lasting love or is it just my dreams that have gotten the better of Me and I am just a pawn in this game of my own life … Lovers come and go but for ever never stays for ever to me in my life called dreams You came into my life and I into yours and all this time we never knew ourselves .. What would we be together as one or living far away form each others heart’s , this Is what my heart tells me inside .. I never wanted to be left with out you for ever to become one , but as we go on into This thing we call love thing have been changing and yet we still go on .. Why do we do this to one another is this how love is suppose to be hurting each other and Trying to prove who is stronger or who is the better one , well if that is what love is then I don’t understand what love is .. I know that you’re my forever and that is what I want it to be you and I for ever but if all we Can do is bicker and fight with one another than what kind of love is that we have …?

I WAS JUST WONDERING ABOUT THOSE MORPHS~ WHAT WEBSITE DO YOU GET THOSE OFF OF ~ HOW DO YOU DO THEM ~ CAN YOU USE ANY PICTURE THAT YOU WANT ETC~

Everyday i wonder what i should do with my life. I have so many thoughts on my mind and it only seems to build. Sometimes i think of going back to my old home and living out the rest of my days over there, Then i think of running away and never coming back again. Of course these are only thoughts i have within my darkened soul, The love of my life has told me he will find me but is this something i have to look forward to. My life has come down to waiting for someone to find me within my darkened soul, He seems to want to express his undying love by searching until he finds me and holding on till he can no longer hold me. Should i let him do such a thing to spend his time searching out someone like me, Every day i wonder why he loves me so much....

WELL , I DON'T WHEN THE LAST TIME IT WAS THAT I WAS HERE BUT NOW I AM BACK WELL OFF AND ON . BEEN WORKING ON MY OTHER WEBSITES TRYNA CATCH UP AND ALL~

Sometimes i feel as if i am living in the dark. I walk alone and yet i don't want to be. i have no special place i want to go but only my feet can make me go there. My heart feels broken beyond re-pare and this is the way it has gotta be. I can no longer trust the world around me but yet i still try. I sit and think about why i am still alive and the only reasoning is that the creator has a plan for me. Sometimes i feel as if i am living in the dark. When the lights go out i cannot sleep my dreams have become the very reason that i cannot rest. The dark figure i see it comes to me but i cannot see its face only the darkness that i have become inside my black heart.

Looking around is all i can do There is nothing left in my cold black heart the feelings have left and i don't know why. Have i gone completely cold inside this heart of mine. To me all i see is life all around yet no one sees me and i am there walking amongst them with a cold hearted stare. My children they are the world to me yet i have no feeling but my cold hearted stare. It seems as if i have left but yet i am still here only to have this cold hearted stare. Why is this happening to me what have i done to feel this way. Looking around is all i can do. I visit my boyfriend through a cold prison window and what i want to do is break it down with my fist and yet all i can do is look at him and stare like a zombie with a cold heartless stare.

WELL EVERYONE~ I WISH I DID NOT HAVE SO MUCH DECISION TO MAKE IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW BUT I DO. I HAVE TO DECIDE TO LET MY MAN GO AND LIVE HIS LIFE BUT OH I CAN'T TELL YOU WHY OF COURSE BUT THAT IS ONE THE OTHER IS IF I SHOULD TAKE MY OLDEST DAUGHTER BACK TO HOME TO OUR ORIGINAL HOME. THE THIRD IS IF I SHOULD JUST STAY AND STICK IT OUT MAN I DIDN'T THINK THAT LIVING IN A CITY WOULD BE SUCH A HASSLE FOR ME

WELL ITZ BEEN AWHILE THAT I HAVE BEEN HERE AND WELL I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME WHAT WITH MY WONDERING IF I WILL HAVE A HOME ANY MORE HERE IN THE CITY.

WELL HELLO EVERYONE~~ HOW ARE YOU ALL TODAY. MY DAY'S HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH BOREDOM AND MY NIGHT'S HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH LONELINESS FROM WAITING 2 DIE.. I LAY AWAKE AND SEE THAT ONE BRIGHT LIGHT THAT SEEMS TO CALL MY NAME AND SAY PAULINE ARE YOU READY TO COME BACK HOME . I TRY TO SLEEP BUT IT NEVER WORKS I HAVE TO REST SO THAT I MAY LIVE TO SEE YET ANOTHER DAY IN THIS LIFE I STILL CALL HELL. SHE COMES TO ME WHEN I SLEEP AND TELLS ME TO LIVE FOR THEM BUT I CANNOT DO THIS ANY MORE I NEED TO END MY SHAME I HAVE PUT ON MY FAMILY & ONES I LOVE..