Damn Blog by DreamX
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DreamX's blog: "Damn"

created on 11/02/2006  |  http://fubar.com/damn/b20607
So i wake up in the morning with an infection so i make a docs appointment for the evening i get there and they take my blood pressure... it was 160/120 They were freaking out. I told them my meds to sleep gives me a slightly higher blood pressure and the doc jsut doubled the dose. So now im being forced to take a beta blocker to get my blood pressure down, so it makes me dizzy then onm top of that i have the meds for the infection, and then my sleeping pills.. How the fuck am i supposed to start my grad work with all this shit in my system....FUCK the doc kept telling me stories of people who died of heart attacks....
So i added a girl last week on here. She accepted but completely ignored any shouts or messages. So i get re3ally sick and start to move so i have no internet and when i finally get onlin i was checking my shit form last week and saw she had deleted me. So i asked her what her problem was and she completely gave me this aqttitude like it was my fault acted liek she was better then me and blocked me and i had said nothing derogatory towards her. Seriously im sick and tired of fucking bitches who act like that. Get a clue.
i musta lost 10-15 pounds from food poison. i still feel really out of it :-(
What is life to be alone, never sharing your expereicnes as it happens with anyone else. No one to truly know how you felt from one day to the next. The pain of losing everytrhing you've ever held close to your heart. Gone in an instant. Silently killing yourself with guilt over any one thing you fault yourself over. To bring up memories of the few times you experienced happiness only to be scarred with bittersweet feelings that ring empty with echoes. Trying hard to move forward, only to be chained by your past. A terrible lonlieness that only you can understand but never explain. Is life really worth this?
im tired of a certain someones infeiority complex. Literally every time this girl drinks she rags on me for not messaging her and yells at me online. She will message me and bring things up. Like tonight she was talkign about fishing for salmon. So like any other conversation i talk to ehr about it and she gets pissed off cause ive fished before and know a thing or two. This is what its like. She gets pissed off at me because she thinks i have to out do her.... And all i ever do is just respond to her messages and answer her questions. She wonders why i never message her wll there ya go. Theres no fucking point in her anger. im just a guy online who she will never meet. Its not my fucking fault that i grew up outdoorsy and liek to try new things. im almsot 30 for gods sakes thaswt a lot of years to do shit in. and im nothing special there are millions opf people whove done the same thing. She acts like everything is new to her and is hers alone. Fuck whatever im through with it.
You know what completely baffles me on this site is how many people especially women post pics of their children and then in another folder they have fairly nsfw or completely nude pics. Myspace alone deleted almost 30 thousand sex offenders from their site. The odds are pretty high at least to my thinking that there must be sex offenders on this site. I sit here reading all these bulletins from people on my list and i see how many complain about stalkers, guys bugging girls about sex pics..... etc. I can go on foever about that. The fact is. This is an adult site. I know the biggest arguement is you want to share your family with your freinds on here and thast a valid argument. But also consider saftey for your children. I really think if you want pics of your children on the site then YOU should be responsible and not post pictures that can draw attention to predators. Its just common sense.
The past brings so many memories. The good and the bad. Sorrow, anger joy. Sometimes your fondest times become poisoned from other memories. It eats everything inside of you. Like a cancer. The only way to get rid of the cancer is to cut that part out from you. Let go of the past no matter how hard how painful...If your soul is damaged already why make it worse. just let go

Love

You know its completely wrong that when im dealing with all shit in my life i get a phone call from my ex.... and all she wants to talk about is how good her life is married with a kid.....Theres a reason why i avoid her... Sometimes love can never be numbed over. Like a raw woulnd inside of me. It hurt so bad. Just hearing her voice completely fucked me up for the day. Its not like i thjink wed ever get together or anything like that she doesnt affect me in any relationships. But real love... does not ever go away. Love has got to be the most painful feeling one could ever go through. So much uncertainty, completely opening your soul to another... takes something away from you.
I just got a phone call. A family freinds son age 14 was building a bon fire. It wasnt going so he opened up a tank of gas and poured gas on the fire. He closed the cap and there was stil some dribbles of gas on t he tank it ignited and blew up. He suffered 3rd degree burns on 100 percent of his body. The fire also burned all the oxygen out of his lungs. He died. I hope he didnt suffer long..... If you know anyone who plays with fire or fireworks or anything like that PLEASE dont let them die like Scotty died.
Ok so i wrote my thesis The History of South/West Seattle and Whiter Center. The focal point was the problems That area has in relations to violence, gang activity and drugs. White center has always had a rugged rural,blue collar ethic. White Center and Riverside(now Tukwila/Duwamish area historically has always been an immigrant town although caucasion). Because of the severe poverty and blue collar mentality there was severe depression, and opression. MANY and i do mean MANY taverns were the main past time here. (A good reference is to read the poetry books of famed Poet Richard Hugo from White Center). Compounding these issues and no cultural base identity the residents of WC attempted to join in the Seattle expansion of West Seattle only to be turned back time and time again. Essentially being told they were not good enough. By the 1940's a huge land section was put aside for the military. This was known as the Rapid Army Training. (Hence the name Rat city). So now you have these barracks with military types living in WC and High Point. After the war these military barracks were to be razed and a large green belt was to be created. However this was not the case and they became government subsidized housing. IE Parklake Homes IE the projects. While not a true ghetto in the logical sense of it, in the minds of long time WC residents it further pushed the already oppresed community over the edge. By the 60's and 70's drugs became more prolific. More low income housing and government subsidizing was created. In fact it was then the Park Lake Homes nearest to Evergreen high school was created. Immigrants from Vietnam, Cambodia, and Laos were moved in. Because these people were unaccostmed to American cultural values and language barriers, the iold generations with their massive chip on their shoulders turned to this new community and threw their anger upon them. This was not withought complete fault. these immigrants withdrew did not try to blend in (indeed the governemt was wrong throwing whole groups en masse together).Thepresent day gang problems amassed as a result. What was now facing WC was a old white generation with little known cultural identity (even though it was there) and a group who did not try to assimilate. This problem still exists today and in fact there is a seething volatile nature that could potentially erupt. there is STILL a racial disparity, burdened by the fact much of WC is now becoming vastly asian american and latino and the white coommunity who has always been shunned by richer neighbors losing out. Compounding this in or governments infinite wisdom they decided to change WC, several tings need to happen. WC needed to be annexed or become its own city, the low income housing must be razed and mixed duplex housing put in. Any who has been through WC can see the ugly architecture. Pastel painting is not very attractive. This new housing was compressed into many units per one local former yard of the Park Lake homes. Trying to fit a higher density of people for a higher tax base (in itself a form of prejudice). The asian american community now lsoing their rather large area of community have disperessed almost en masse. Buying further more cheap real estate creating more of a issue between asian americans, latino and white people.
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