SOmetimes, you really confuse me...
I never know where i really stand with you,
what you're really thinking- how you truly feel...
i don't even know what's going on in your life,
if you're really okay, or if it's all just a front.
nevertheless, i really care about you.
i truly do.
and it really hurts for me to feel so helpless...
i want to make you smile, make all the troubles go away for good,
But i don't know what i can do to make you happy,
i don't even know if i should do anything at all,
or if i even have the right to...
Still, whatever you want,
whatever can make the dark clouds give way
for bright blue skies in your life...
okay, i'll do it...
no matter what the consequence...
no matter the cost.
i'll do it willingly, without fear
without regret...
anything to see the smile that used to light up your face.
the smile that had no trace
of pain and suffering.
of loss...
i can see it in your eyes, every time i joke and try to make you laugh.
it stabs right through my heart.
the stonewall you've put up to hide the true you
from all the world.
the superman cape
that serves to wipe away your tears when no one is looking...
i want to be the one who wipes all those tears away,
i want to be the shoulder you cry on,
when you need someone to be strong for you..
i desperately want and need
to be the one who comforts you in your fleeting moments of truth.
moments when all pretensions crumble into dust
and all that's left are the feelings you've tried so hard to hide...
all that's nothing more that just a daydream, i know...
it WILL NEVER happen.
NEVER...
you may think i'm crazy...
and i may very well be.
i've probably gone crazy long ago trying to forget you.
all those years...
the disappearing acts,
cutting off all means of communication---
all so futile, so useless.
Still here i am--
black and blue all over from missing you,
kneeling right back at your feet.
i'm still trying to break loose
from the hold you have on me...
But you're just like a scar
that's been burned right through my soul...
an addiction i'd die to live without
but can't let go of---
i keep coming back..
crawling...
a picture of utter helplessness,
the perfect epitome of all hopeless hopes.
you've changed a lot
since i first fell in love with you 8 years ago.
you know i've been there right from the very start,
watching
and waiting---
for you to need me.
But you never noticed...
the old _________ is already gone...
all that's left of the girl i loved so much back then
is a tiny fragment of her heart,
just one last fragile shard.
God knows just how much she's been through.
i know nothing.
i've done nothing.
and i know very well that i don't own nor deserve to own
that last piece of innocence,
that last drop of purity left in her.
Just One last broken piece Of her heart left...
Good thing i've long accepted the fact that it will never be mine.
yet, i suffer
i just want her to be happy again.
just like the good old times.
i want to see her smile with the joy back in her eyes...
to see the carefree innocence i held so sacred then
and still cherish till now.
God, why're you puttiing me through all of this?
please help her.
help me...
forget...
i beg you.. T_T
