I sit here wondering how my life has passed me by. I am a happy person by nature but everything feels like it is bringing me down.
I wonder will I ever be happy, will I ever find someone who makes me happy. What will it be, when will it be. I have a Master right now, but cant feel his touch.I wonder waht will come of this. I want to try. I want to be happy I want to make him happy and I hope he feels he is not settling. I want him near I am tired of being all alone.
I feel like I dont deserve it, I am on autopilot right now. To stressed to care to sad to be happy. With everything that is going on in my life I just want a break. I want someone who will make me forget. I want someone who will see me!
I am tired of being the one who smiles even though I dont want to. I am tired of being the dog watcher, laundry lady, maid and cook for a person who does not appreciate it. I am tired of having my best friend walk on me and take advantage of me. I am tired of spending all my time wondering what if, or what is wrong.
I am a strong woman and know I will get over all this BS and get my spine back...lol.
All I want is my Master to show me the way, to be proud of me. To have someone to talk to, to care for that appreciates me. I am tired of being the girl that is just like one of the guys.
This is jut may rant I had to let it out. It seems letting it out here at home does not help so I figured I would just write it down!
