Brutal Nath's blog: "damn a week in and so many friends"

HARD HAT HEROES There's a breed of Aussie hero who has served this nation well and they don a yellow uniform to face the fires of hell. When day temperatures are soaring and the high winds blow a gust, and our bushland is ignited it's in them we place our trust. Yes, you're all somebody's daughter and you're all somebody's son, you are mothers and you’re fathers: hard-hat heroes everyone. When their mates are in the hot seat and they need a helping hand, they will volunteer their services from stations 'cross this land. Whether country towns or cities or a rural fire brigade, they will gladly throw their hats in and will offer their mates aide. Yes, you're all somebody's daughter and you're all somebody's son, you are mothers and you’re fathers: hard-hat heroes everyone. Do you owe your home or property, your very lives perhaps, to the selfless, honest efforts of these bold fire-fighting chaps? Or still sadly you lost everything, but proudly can attest to their fierce determination as each brave soul did their best. Yes, you're all somebody's daughter and you're all somebody's son, you are mothers and you’re fathers: hard-hat heroes everyone. So I ask you all to join me as we stand and raise a glass to the courage and the spirit of this fire-fighting class. And I'm sure you'd love to join me as this message we impart, "You're such true blue hard hat heroes and we thank you from the heart." Yes, you're all somebody's daughter and you're all somebody's son, you are mothers and you’re fathers: hard-hat heroes everyone. © Bush Poet and Ballad Writer -Merv Webste

Hi to all my family, friends and fans sorry it has been a while since i have been on but i have been really sick. I spent 6 hrs last night in the emergency ward of my local hospital suffering from chest and abdomen pains (which i still have) and after many tests and machines it has been discovered that i am suffering from a condition that for all intents and purposes has swollen my heart (its not fatal or anything) to almost twice its size and is making it very difficult to breath and hurts like hell. There is nothing to do for it besides pain killers, anti inflamatories and to let it run its course. I had my fiance with me last night while i got the news of this annoyance (she was very distraught and upset) i do promise that i will still be around and a friend fan and family member to all of u, i just have to get over this problem The nurses and doctors at the hospital nick named me Phar Lap last night and had a lot of fun picking on me and telling my fiance that she was very lucky that she had found someone with such a big heart, and also making me show all of my tattoes and peircings to all the interns and people who walked past (LOL) i felt like a science project. But this was just to let u know that i honestly haven't forgotten any of u and i still love and cherish all my CT friends and family Cheers all Nathan (the big hearted) xxxoooxxx

First & foremost, let me tell you that I’m a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, a beer at the game, and you’re even around in the holidays, hidden inside chocolates as you warm us when we’re stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I’ve been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best Interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unwise consequences: 1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they do not want tohear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night? 2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you suggest that I eat a kebab, a butter chicken curry along with a sausage withcheese, onion and mustard (washed down with WINE & topped off with a Kit Kat after a few sweet chilli and sour cream red rock chips)? I’m an eclectic eater, but I think you went too far this time. 3. Clumsiness: Unless you’re subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the issue home by causing me to fall down. It’s completely unnecessary, and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock. 4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening’s debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin)prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in no way interfere with my daily activities. Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You’ve been the invokerof great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed companion when I just don’t know what to do with the extra money in my pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership. Thank you, Your biggest fan P. S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. British Constitution 3. Passive-aggressive disorder THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex. 2. Nope, no more beer for me. 3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type. 4. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight? 5. Oh, I couldn’t. No one wants to hear me sing Happiness is not what you EXPERIENCE, but what you REMEMBER.

From: The "nice guy"... I'm sorry that i bought you roses to tell you that i like you I'm sorry That I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk I'm sorry That my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants I'm sorry that I open your car door, and pull out your chair like I was raised I'm sorry That I'm not cute enough to be "your guy" I'm sorry That I am actually nice; not an asshole I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just f**k you like some random guy. I'm sorry That I am always the one you need to talk to, but never good enough to date I'm sorry That I always held your hair back when you threw up,and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy I'm sorry That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend I'm sorry If I start not being there, and being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new asshole comes around I'm sorry If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work I'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along. I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care But most of all I'm sorry For not being sorry anymore I'm sorry That you can't accept me for who I am I'm sorry I can ever do anything right, and nothing that I do is good enough to make it in your world. I'm sorry I caught your bf with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for... I'm sorry That I told you I loved you and actually meant it. I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your bf was threatening you instead of spending time with my family. I'm Sorry That i cared I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talk about how you wish you could have done something different. Ladies always bitch and bitch to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're bitching, maybe look up to see who you're bitching to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you. If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, repost as "I'm sorry " If You're one of the few girls with enough balls to repost, and you would never make your guy feel this way, repost as "To all the girls who look past the nice guys"

hi all sorry to vent these feelings on u all. Well as most of u know i am a volunteer fire fighter, but my 9 to 5 job is with a roller door factory and today at 2:50 pm we had a work place incident. i was at work doing my job when an employee came running in and said we need an ambulance, having first aid i responded to the scene of the accident to find work mate laying on the floor bleeding from blunt force trauma to the head. i proceded to administer 1st aid until the ambulance arrived but sadly the employee passed away before he got to hospital. so this blog is in memory of him (Marvyn i am sorry i tried but could do no more for u buddy i regret the fact that u drew ur last breath in my arms, and that ur kids will never know how hard i tried to bring u back to them, but rest assured mate i did everything i could). Please everyone be careful at ur jobs and go home to ur loved ones and when u do send a prayer to Marvyn and wish his family all the best. thank u all for reading this Nathan 28/11/2006

this is an apology to all my friends and fans. sorry i have been away so long but as we are comming into summer here in australia the fire season is starting to heat up i will try to get on as often as i can but please be patient with me over the next 3 months or so Luv u all Nathan

10 simple rules for dating my daughter RULE ONE: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package because you’re sure as hell not picking anything up. RULE TWO: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. RULE THREE: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist. RULE FOUR: I thought I’d make it a bit easier and give you rule four off, but don’t worry there’s still rule 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and rule 10! RULE FIVE: In order for us to get to know each other, you might think that we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is “early”. RULE SIX: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. RULE SEVEN: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour has gone by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for a movie you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the West Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there why don’t’ you do something useful, like change the oil in my car? RULE EIGHT: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool Places where there are no parent’s, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are ok. Old folk homes are better. RULE NINE: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been but on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowoing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and 5 acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me. RULE TEN: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Saigon. When my agent orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

this goes out to all of u who added me, rated me and were just real nice and showing some LC love thank u so much dont forget tho i would love all of u to continue all the comments on my pics and just leavin msg love u all Cheers Nath (urban cowboy/fireman) P>S any pic requests i'll try and get them done just for u