I have been really depressed lately…. I guess I just really miss being in a relationship. It’s about 5 years since I have. Yea sure I have dating around here and there but no woman I date is really interested in a committed relationship. It’s really kind of depressing.
In fact on my way home from work today I seen this young couple outside a restaurant and just as I was passing I seen the lady throw arms around his neck and kiss the guy. I mean OUCH! Ya know, it has a really long time since I had something like that in my life and I am sure I did not appreciate it when I did. Life’s kind of funny… when I had it I didn’t care and now that I know how much that means, I can’t seem to get another chance.
I mean it is getting so bad that today at work I had to think about exactly why I want to be with someone so bad and I boiled it down to three basic things: first I really want a family, secondly I feel so guilty about the fact that my son doesn’t have a mom, like I feel like I am cheating him out of something, and finally I guess I am just really lonely. Maybe none of those are good reasons. But I at least I got it straight in my own head. I guess I have to figure out something else I can concentrate on to make me happy. I can’t go on being so melancholy… cuz frankly is getting really annoying…