Well the time has finally come. The time I have been dreading for the past two years. The doctor has put my dad on hospice because of his cancer and other illnesses. He is finally to sick for my mom to care for by herself. I lived with my parents for the longest time helping my mom with my father, as he got sicker and sicker. I decided to move out of their house for lots of reasons mostly selfish ones. Two main ones were my final decisions makers. The first is the fact that I hated my kids growing up in that environment watching him go down hill. The second is I wanted to be with the man that I truly love. I have been gone for almost one whole year. I left at the end of July in 2006. As July 2007 approaches I fell guilty that I left when I did. A lot has happen to me in the last year. I'm still with the one I love Mike. I have gotten a good paying job that has allowed me to become indepent and support my four kids. I have gotten my own vehicle a Dodge Grand Caravan. I don't want to hear none of that soccer mom kind of crap with four kids you need a big vehicle. I have found and been attending a great church. I still have a long way to go tell my entire short term goals are complete, but at less I have not given up on them. One of those goals is to make my dad proud of me. I have let my dad sown in lots of ways. I did not go to collage. I owe my parents money. I have had my battles when it comes to my home live. I have had two failed marriages, and fights with raising my kids. Like I have said I have been with the same guy for the last year, but my dad has never even met him, I'm doing great when it comes to my kids, but he can see it because I live so far away. I can't believe I'm almost out of time with him. All a sudden life seems so short. I think back to all the petty fight I have had with him. I know he knows I love him, but I don't think I have ever shown him how much. I know I'm just rambling now, but I have so much going though my head right now. I can also hear what some of my friends are going to say when they read all this. Like he is not gone yet, and God only knows how long he has not to dwell on it just do what I can. So if you plan on commenting on this blog PLEASE do not pity me and don't waste your breath on useless advice. I only wrote this so I would feel better. Talking about what is bothering me helps me get though it. Thank you for taking the time to read all of this
