yet again i see that nothing can seeem to go the way it should old nightmears seem to come to life even without me having to pay attention to it you know what i mean ....you come you go and that is how things go i said it once tonight already i must have a sign on my fucking head that says " use and abuse" cuse it seems that everytime i turn around people are asking for for help or to fix something or to be a shoulder to cry on and the one time in my life that i lose all pride and i ask for help cuse shit has just gotten too much somedays i get shit on yeah i get some help but the costs of the help are gonna rip me apart , you want my money fine it all goes to bills what is left you can fucking have you want my shit like my dvds and my computer and my phone and my cable tv and my internet and all the other shit you use from me fine take it least i can do for you helping me ,,,, what i do ask that if you say you're gonna do something then you better damn well do it you know what i mean grow the fuck up ,,,,,yeah i know someone somewhere is gonna take this that i am bitching about them but i am just bitching about people as a whole no one helps people now adays just to help them you know what i mean ......i sit here and have to face the state and my abusive ex hubby for my kids and it would be so much better to just move out of the town that i am in for me and more so for the kids cuse even the school princable agrees with me that there is not anything for my kids to look forward to in this town other then violence,rape,prostitutes,drugs,and all kinds of stupid things ,,,hell our high school had a girl die in like 3rd period from a drug overdose and she bought and took the drugs in school you know what i mean ,,,,,,,,,yeah i know drugs are everywhere and i know that violence is everywhere but i would like to live in an area that i can take my kids to the park and not have to look over the whole playground area for hyperdermic needles and condoms ,,( at lest the people wore a condom) but like eeewww i do not want my kids palyin in some unknown persons sex juice you know what i mean and yeah i know this is a long read and i know that no one really cares about anything other then their lives but i look at it this way if everyone that i know that calls me a friend gave me 50 cents i could move out of this area and to a better place and still have enough to maybe order pizza the first night in me and the kids new place you know what i mean but hey everyone i know is broke and no one has time for anyone else other then themselves so yeah it is 4 am and i have to get up at 6 am to start getting the kids ready for school so yeah i am gonna go lay down and watch some cartoons and hopefuly fall asleep for a few so yeah if you read all of this i thank you and if you feel like sending 50 cents let me know lol laters
