XaviRoseMaiden's blog: "thinking , reflecting"

I hear the screams at night .. i remember the fear ... i remember the way we were al afraid of him .. afraid hed come back and hurt us .. i remember not being allowed outsdie to play with the other kids .. i was five when i first met him .. now im almost 30 .. i had nightmares into my late twenties of all the horrible things he did and said  our family .. And still over time i learnt that if i kept this hate in my heart it would poison my heart and soul .. so eventually and almost reluctantly i forgave him , a huge weight lifted from my shoulders .. life is its own karma .. hes dying now .. and barely a soul cares .. and strangely enough i care more then most .. 

Cruel cruel man ... 

u never seemed to care 

never seemed to be there ..

too manys nights , days in fear 

wisihing you were never here.. 

And now as life goes on .. 

 the fear is gone 

the heart is still healing 

the family is stronger then you would ever believe 

and now your the one who hurts , all the horrible thing u did to your body .. your body has finally said enough .. 

more then you ever grow 

 i still live on .. 

 my family lives on too 

what hasn't killed us has only made us stronger .. 

and everytime u hit her 

i felt her tears .. 

i felt her pain .. 

and since i've never been the same 

so cold and cruel 

i wish i could wish u well .. 

i really wish i could .. but in essence u were no good .. 

not kind 

not caring 

heartlessly cruel 

My mother love made her a fool 

a fool to your deciet and unspeakable ways. 

But i still loved her dearly to the end of her days .