Somedays I still find myself thinking about him. Not nearly as often as I used to. The pain of heartbreak has been dulled down by time and effort to replace his memory with other people places and things. The new life I have started without him is so much more rewarding and healthy. There is no reason for me to ever think of him again. Those days are past me now. I finally got out. Going back even if only in my head would be insane.
This is what concerns me most. I really must be crazy and need some clinical help or maybe some drugs to fix my broken parts.
I still go back to those days in my head. Sometimes I try to figure out just where I got so off track. Why could I not see what was right in front of me. Could his lies have been that good. Or did I need to believe them. Why would I want to be so mislead. He was never that good at the game so how come he won? My heart got broke but more than that my spirit was wounded and left to die.
I now that no one can explain to me why this happened. No way will it ever make any since. Forgive the mistakes let go of the hurt and start new.
