Cousin Billy
Got a call from cousin Billy yesterday. He got paroled a few months back and got himself a dog to keep him company. He was wanting me to come over so he could show me a neat trick he'd taught the dog.
I showed up and on the doorstep is this tiny rag muffin no bigger than my foot! It was dressed in some fancy kind of outfit with little bows on it's ears. Billy came rushing out the door all excited and carrying on about what a great dog he's got. I looked down at that pile of fluff and just shook my head.
As I started into the living room I stopped dead in my tracks. There were huge sacks of mail stacked all over the place. My first instinct was to turn around and get out of dodge FAST before the place got raided. Knowin' Billy he was up to no good again and I didn't want to be his new room-mate at the county jail. Curiosity got the better of me and I cleared a place to sit down.
Billy started opening envelopes and pullin' cash out of 'em. Some were filled with as much as a hundred bucks. Billy pulled a contraption off the couch and started messin' with it, then turned it around so I could have a look. It was showin' a movie with that little rag muffin at what looked like a door. All of a sudden the door opens and there's a lady standin' in the door in a nightie. The lady scooped the rag muffin up and was ohhing and awwing about how adorable it was. She sets the dog down and goes back over to the bed where Lo and Behold was Judge Carp dressed like nothin' I've ever seen! High heels, stockings, and a garter! Keep in mind ya'll that Judge Carp is a man! I busted a gut laughing and almost choked!
Billy said he had a ton more just like that with other folks in 'em. I said how the heck? Apparently the little rag muffin was wearing a wireless cam. Billy said the dog has a hankerin' for running off to the Sleaze Motel down the block and whenever he went after it , it had weaseled it's way into one of the guests rooms. That's when it hit him that he ought to put a cam on the dog.
When Billy got the goods on half the town he sent the rag muffin back to the Motel with copies of the movies of each of 'em caught in the act on a tiny cd letting them know there were more copies stashed away so hush money (cash only) would be much appreciated and a P.O. Box on where to send it.
Guess Cousin Billy won't be gettin' sent away again any time soon!
