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dwayne's blog: "core interests"

created on 11/13/2006  |  http://fubar.com/core-interests/b24127

gm friends

good morning my friends...hope u'all r having a nice thursday .

top 25 for a elevator

elevator Body: 1) When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. 2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 3) Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. 4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on. 5) Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" 6) Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 7) Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. 8) Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. 9) Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. 10) Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 11) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. 12) Ask, "Did you feel that?" 13) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. 14) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!" 15) Swat at flies that don't exist. 16) Tell people that you can see their aura. 17) Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it. 18) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" 19) Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 20) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 21) Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 22) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. 23) Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. 24) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 25) Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
If we met under the mistletoe... Would You kiss ME? [ _ ] YES [ _ ] NO If YES.. [ _ ] CHEEK [ _ ] LIPS Do you even need a mistletoe to kiss me? [ _ ] YES [ _ ] NO [ _] HELL NO!

my profession

This might be funny if it were not so sadly true. Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack. 1973 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack. 2006 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers. Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school 1973 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled. 2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students. 1973 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class. 2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability. Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping. 1973 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman. 2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist. Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school. 1973 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock. 2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons. Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant. 1973 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers. 2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more careful next time. Scenario: Pedro fails high school English. 1973: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college. 2006: Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English. Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed. 1973 - Ants die. 2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again. Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him. 1973 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing. 2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison

wat ur name really means

d...Has one of the best personalities ever w...Very broad minded a..Very broad minded. y..One of the best damn bf/gf ne one could ask for n...Loves to Party e...A freaking good kisser. A:Very broad minded. B: Likes people C: Is wild and crazy. D: Has one of the best personalities ever. E: A freaking good kisser. F: People adore you. G: Never let people tell you what to do. H: Have a very good personality and looks. I: Fuckin awesome. J: Lives life for fun. K: Really silly. L: Loved by everyone M: Makes dating fun.. N:Loves to Party O: Is best in bed P: Popular with all types of people. Q: A hypocrite. R: Fuckin crazy S: Easy to fall in love with T: Loyal to those you love U: Really like to chill. V: Not judgemental. W: Very broad minded. X: Never let people tell you what to do. Y: One of the best damn bf/gf ne one could ask for. Z: Always ready.

TWO

They are two people drawn together by an unseen power. A bond from a distance, only they know the reason. Love has an intensity as still as a calm night or as savage as a raging storm. That is the need. Together they are one, alone no more. A light comes into their hearts to make them alive. Aware of life and living again in a complacent world. Strangers for a time, until their souls reach out and touch one another. The knowledge of a lifetime is passed between them. Sharing the joys, the tribulations, the expectations is a new experience. Strangers no more, caring begins. With familiarity comes laughter to brighten the spirit and lighten the heart. An understanding, that words cannot express, spreads across the miles and friendship commences. They wonder at this new found level of love. They revel at the very thought of hands caressing and lips touching from ocean to ocean. The beauty of love is seen as an oasis in the desert of loneliness. They know where to look and what to say. They understand the workings of the mind to protect from pain. It is all so new and yet so easy. Heaven on earth can be love. It can be friendship. It can be understanding and compassion. Most of all it is giving. They gave of each other for each other's happiness. And together they found everything.

MAYBE

>>> >>MAYBE... >>> >> >>> >>Maybe God wanted us to meet the wrong people before meeting >>>the right >>> >>one so that, when we finally meet the right person, we will >>>know how >>> >>to be grateful for that gift. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, >>>often >>> >>times, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even >>>see the >>> >>new one which has been opened for us. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...it is true that we don't know what we have got until we >>>lose >>> >>it, but it is also true that we >>>don't know what we have been missing >>> >>until it arrives. >>> >> >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best >>>of >>> >>everything; they just make the most of everything that comes >>>along >>> >>their way. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...the brightest future will always be based on a >>>forgotten past; >>> >>after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let >>>go of >>> >>your past mistakes, failures and heartaches. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...you should dream what you want to dream; go where you >>>want to >>> >>go; >>>be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one >>> >>chance to do all the things you dream of and want to do. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a >>>parent, a >>> >>spouse, a friend, a child -- so much that you just want to pick >>>them >>> >>from your dreams and hug them for real. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a >>>porch and >>> >>swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like >>>it was >>> >>the best conversation you've ever had. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...you should always try to put yourself in >>>others' shoes. If you >>> >>feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the >>>other >>> >>person, too. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...you should do something nice for someone every single >>>day, >>> >>even if it is simply to leave them alone. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...giving someone all your love is never an assurance that >>>they >>> >>will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for >>>it to >>> >>grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it >>>grew in >>> >>yours. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...happiness waits for all those who cry, all those who >>>hurt, >>>all >>> >>those who have searched, and all those who have tried, for >>>only they >>> >>can appreciate the importance of all the people who have >>>touched their lives. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; Don't >>>go for >>> >>wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you >>>smile, >>> >>because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. >>>Find the >>> >>one that makes your heart smile. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, >>>enough >>> >>trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and >>>enough >>> >>hope to make you happy. And the last maybe..... when you were >>>born, >>> >>you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe...you should try to live your life so that when you die, >>>you are >>> >>the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying. >>> >> >>> >>Maybe you could send this message to those people who mean >>>something >>> >>to you, to those who have touched your life either positively >>>or not, >>> >>to those who can and do make you smile when you really need it, >>>to >>> >>those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are >>>really >>> >>down, and to all those whom >>>you want to know that you appreciate them >>> >>and their friendship. And if you don't, don't worry; nothing >>>bad will happen to you. >>> >>You will just miss out on the opportunity to perhaps brighten >>> >>someone's day. >>> >> >>> >>~~ Love is not about finding the perfect person, it's about >>>learning >>> >>to see an imperfect person perfectly ~~ >>> >>

wish's

Wish's for u... ............(...(`.-``'´´-.´)...)..........12 months of happiness ..............)......--.......--....(...........52 weeks of fun ............./......(o..._...o)..............365 days of success ......................(..0..)......./..........8,760 hours of good health ..........__.`.-._...'='.._.-.´.__.......525,600 minutes of blessings ......./.......'#.'#.,.--.,.#'.#.'........ .......__))..........'#'......... ((__/..... __xxxxxxxxxxx______xxxxxxxxxx _xxxxxxxxxxxxxx___xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_xxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx __xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ____xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx _______xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx _________xxxxxxxxxxxx __________xxxxxxxxx ____________xxxxx _____________xxx _____________xx ______________x And many huzzzzzzzz

"i cried"

Body: When you were 15, your mom came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked. When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you could. When you were 17, she was expecting an important call. You thanked her by being on the phone all night. When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn. When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends. When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country. When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children. And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART. If you love your MOM, repost this bulletin saying "i cried" if you don't... then u obviosly don't care if your mom dies

construtive language

Body: You will love this............... It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner. 1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f ___ you're doing. 2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b__ch. 3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this? 4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way. 5) TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh__ing me! 6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__. 7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my f____ing problem. 8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f___? 9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work. 10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner? 11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__. 12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die. 13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__. 14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF: F___ it, I'm on salary. 15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__. 16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: This job sucks d__ck 17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the f_ck died and made you boss? 18 ) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive. INSTEAD OF: He's a f_cking pr_ck. Thank You For Your Consideration
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