Over 16,529,144 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
I am by nature a contrary person, often I find myself doing things just because I was told not to. This started for me at a very early age, while my parents had in mind a strict upbringing requiring the “Yes ma’am” and “Yes sir” this was changed by me to “Yeah sir” and “No Madam”, which was a minor stretch but still a rebellion in its own way.
It also had its effects on my schooling. I would calculate what I needed to obtain a passing grade and evaluate each assignment and its effect on my desired outcome. I would then determine whether or not I needed to complete or ignore said assignment. Though if I enjoyed the subject matter enough, I would usually do the homework. This explains why I barely passed English Lit, but had straight A's in French III.
In high school, I was a teachers aide, which came with a hall pass that allowed me free access to the school to perform my duties, but I spent so much time wandering the halls that many teachers incorrectly assumed that I was pretty much an Aide every period. I do have one fond memory during senior year when they made an announcement that said “Any seniors caught leaving campus (we had a closed campus) will be sent home and be given a zero on any tests or mid terms for that day” At which point I looked at my friends and said “Wendy’s or McDonalds for lunch today?”
You would think the military would definitely break someone of habits like that, but it all comes down to a challenge of wills and wits. I remember during basic training how I would encourage shipments of gum sent as individual flat pieces, as all candy was confiscated and either eaten by the Drills or thrown away, the flat envelopes would not be discovered and I had gum.
I would not like to give a number of formations I attended in Dress B’s with my undershirt being a concert T-shirt from the night before, inside out and hidden, but I assure you it was well up into the double digits.
Even when I was in a position of authority, I still had my own way of doing things. I was made a squad leader while in school, and since there were multiple classes that made up a platoon after a graduation I was left in a squad with no members for a couple days. That next Monday, I overslept and missed PT. One of the primary responsibilities of the Squad Leader is to report accountability of his squad, who is present, who is on sick call, or who is on duty and not in formation. My Platoon Sgt called me in to his office later on that day to ask why I was not in formation, and to remind me of the responsibilities of the Squad leader and accountability. I responded with a totally straight face “I assure you Sergeant, I had 100% accountability of my squad at the time.” It took him a second to realize what I was saying, and then he started laughing. I told him “As a squad leader, I will make it my responsibility to council the squad member that did not show up for PT, and I will give him a good chewing out.” He accepted my offer and sent me on my way.
Even to this day, I do have my minor moments. I have been known to respond to "Does anyone have any questions?" with such things as "Where do babies come from?" or "Do you think the Mets will get it together this year?"
While I am sure my attempts at humor do not amuse everyone, I don't do it for them; I do it for the fans man, for the fans!
Sorry to dig out the old blogs, but this needed some fixing to prevent the wall of text, and I made some edits for clarity.
