But when I got home and told Mrs. Cole my adventure, she
represented so strongly to me the nature and dangerous conse-
quences of my folly, particularly the risks to my health, in
being so open-legg'd and free, that I not only took resolu-
tions never to venture so rashly again, which I inviolably
preserv'd, but pass'd a good many days in continual uneasi-
ness lest I should have met with other reasons, besides the
pleasure of that encounter, to remember it; but these fears
wronged my pretty sailor, for which I gladly make him this
reparation.
I had now liv'd with Mr. Norbert near a quarter of a
year, in which space I circulated my time very pleasantly
between my amusements at Mrs. Cole's, and a proper attendance
on that gentleman, who paid me profusely for the unlimited
complaisance with which I passively humoured every caprice of
pleasure, and which had won upon him so greatly, that find-
ing, as he said, all that variety in me alone which he had
sought for in a number of women, I had made him lose his
taste for inconstancy, and new faces. But what was yet at
least agreeable, as well as more flattering, the love I had
inspir'd him with bred a deference to me that was of great
service to his health: for having by degrees, and with most
pathetic representations, brought him to some husbandry of
it, and to insure the duration of his pleasures by moderat-
ing their use, and correcting those excesses in them he was
so addicted to, and which had shatter'd his constitution and
destroyed his powers of life in the very point for which he
seemed chiefly desirous, to live, he was grown more delicate,
more temperate, and in course more healthy; his gratitude
for which was taking a turn very favourable for my fortune,
when once more the caprice of it dash'd the cup from my lips.
His sister, Lady L . . ., for whom he had a great affec-
tion, desiring him to accompany her down to Bath for her
health, he could not refuse her such a favour; and accord-
ingly, though he counted on staying away from me no more than
a week at farthest, he took his leave of me with an ominous
heaviness of heart, and left me a sum far above the state of
his fortune, and very inconsistent with the intended short-
ness of his journey; but it ended in the longest that can be,
and is never but once taken: for, arriv'd at Bath, he was not
there two days before he fell into a debauch of drinking with
some gentlemen, that threw him into a high fever and carry'd
him off in four days time, never once out of a delirium. Had
he been in his senses to make a will, perhaps he might have
made favourable mention of me in it. Thus, however, I lost
him; and as no condition of life is more subject to revolu-
tions than that of a woman of pleasure, I soon recover'd my
cheerfulness, and now beheld myself once more struck off the
list of kept-mistresses, and returned into the bosom of the
community from which I had been in some manner taken.
Mrs. Cole still continuing her friendship, offered me
her assistance and advice towards another choice; but I was
now in ease and affluence enough to look about me at lei-
sure; and as to any constitutional calls of pleasure, their
pressure, or sensibility, was greatly lessen'd by a consci-
ousness of the ease with which they were to be satisfy'd at
Mrs. Cole's house, where Louisa and Emily still continu'd in
the old way; and by great favourite Harriet used often to
come and see me, and entertain me, with her head and heart
full of the happiness she enjoy'd with her dear baronet,
whom she loved with tenderness, and constancy, even though
he was her keeper, and what is yet more, had made her inde-
pendent, by a handsome provision for her and hers. I was
then in this vacancy from any regular employ of my person, in
my way of business, when one day, Mrs. Cole, in the course of
the constant confidence we lived in, acquainted me that there
was one Mr. Barville, who used her house, just come to town,
whom she was not a little perplex'd about providing a suit-
able companion for; which was indeed a point of difficulty,
as he was under the tyranny of a cruel taste: that of an
ardent desire, not only of being unmercifully whipp'd him-
self, but of whipping others, in such sort, that tho' he paid
extravagantly those who had the courage and complaisance to
submit to his humour, there were few, delicate as he was in
the choice of his subjects, who would exchange turns with him
so terrible at the expense of their skin. But, what yet in-
creased the oddity of this strange fancy was the gentleman
being young; whereas it generally attacks, it seems, such as
are, through age, obliged to have recourse to this experi-
ment, for quickening the circulation of their sluggish
juices, and determining a conflux of the spirits of pleasure
towards those flagging, shrivelly parts, that rise to life
only by virtue of those titillating ardours created by the
discipline of their opposites, with which they have so sur-
prising a consent.
This Mrs. Cole could not well acquaint me with, in any
expectation of my offering my service: for, sufficiently easy
as I was in my circumstances, it must have been the tempta-
tion of an immense interest indeed that could have induced me
to embrace such a job; neither had I ever express'd, nor in-
deed felt, the least impulse or curiosity to know more of a
taste that promis'd so much more pain than pleasure to those
that stood in no need of such violent goads: what then should
move me to subscribe myself voluntarily to a party of pain,
foreknowing it such? Why, to tell the plain truth, it was a
sudden caprice, a gust of fancy for trying a new experiment,
mix'd with the vanity of proving my personal courage to Mrs.
Cole, that determined me, at all risks, to propose myself to
her, and relieve her from any farther lookout. Accordingly,
I at once pleas'd and surpris'd her with a frank and unre-
served tender of my person to her, and her friend's absolute
disposal on this occasion.
My good temporal mother was, however, so kind as to use
all the arguments she could imagine to dissuade me: but, as
I found they only turn'd on a motive of tnederness to me, I
persisted in my resolution, and thereby acquitted my offer of
any suspicion of its not having been sincerely made, or out
of compliment only. Acquiescing then thankfully in it, Mrs.
Cole assur'd me that bating the pain I should be put to, she
had no scruple to engage me to this party, which she assur'd
me I should be liberally paid for, and which, the secrecy of
the transaction preserved safe from the ridicule that other-
wise vulgarly attended it; that for her part, she considered
pleasure, of one sort or other, as the universal port of
destination, and every wind that blew thither a good one,
provided it blew nobody any harm; that she rather compas-
sionated, than blam'd, those unhappy persons who are under a
subjection they cannot shake off, to those arbitrary tastes
that rule their appetites of pleasures with an unaccountable
control: tastes, too, as infinitely deversify'd, as superior
to, and independent of, all reasoning as the different re-
lishes or palates of mankind in their viands, some delicate
stomachs nauseating plain meats, and finding no savour but in
high-seasoned, luxurious dishes, whilst others again pique
themselves upon detesting them.
I stood now in no need of this preamble of encourage-
ment, of justification: my word was given, and I was deter-
min'd to fulfil my engagements. Accordingly the night was
set, and I had all the necessary previous instructions how to
act and conduct myself. The dining-room was duly prepared
and lighted up, and the young gentleman posted there in wait-
ing, for my introduction to him.
I was then, by Mrs. Cole, brought in, and presented to
him, in a loose dishabille fitted, by her direction, to the
exercise I was to go through, all in the finest linen and a
thorough white uniform: gown, petticoat, stockings, and satin
slippers, like a victim led to sacrifice; whilst my dark
auburn hair, falling in drop-curls over my neck, created a
pleasing distinction of colour from the rest of my dress.
As soon as Mr. Barville saw me, he got up, with a visi-
ble air of pleasure and surprize, and saluting me, asked Mrs.
Cole if it was possible that so fine and delicate a creature
would voluntarily submit to such sufferings and rigours as
were the subject of his assignation. She answer'd him pro-
perly, and now, reading in his eyes that she could not too
soon leave us together, she went out, after recommending to
him to use moderation with so tender a novice.
But whilst she was employing his attention, mine had
been taken up with examining the figure and person of this
unhappy young gentleman, who was thus unaccountably condemn'd
to have his pleasure lashed into him, as boys have their
learning.
He was exceedingly fair, and smooth complexion'd, and
appeared to me no more than twenty at most, tho' he was three
years older than what my conjectures gave him; but then he
ow'd this favourable mistake to a habit of fatness, which
spread through a short, squab stature, and a round, plump,
fresh-coloured face gave him greatly the look of a Bacchus,
had not an air of austerity, not to say sternness, very un-
suitable even to his shape of face, dash'd that character of
joy, necessary to complete the resemblance. His dress was
extremely neat, but plain, and far inferior to the ample for-
tune he was in full possession of; this too was a taste in
him, and not avarice.
As soon as Mrs. Cole was gone, he seated me near him,
when now his face changed upon me into an expression of the
most pleasing sweetness and good humour, the more remarkable
for its sudden shift from the other extreme, which, I found
afterwards, when I knew more of his character, was owing to
a habitual state of conflict with, and dislike of himself,
for being enslaved to so peculiar a gust, by the fatality of
a constitutional ascendant, that render'd him incapable of
receiving any pleasure till he submitted to these extraordi-
nary means of procuring it at the hands of pain, whilst the
constancy of this repining consciousness stamp'd at length
that cast of sourness and severity on his features: which
was, in fact, very foreign to the natural sweetness of his
temper.
After a competent preparation by apologies, and en-
couragement to go through my part with spirit and constancy,
he stood up near the fire, whilst I went to fetch the in-
struments of discipline out of a closet hard by: these were
several rods, made each of two or three strong twigs of birch
tied together, which he took, handled, and view'd with as
much pleasure, as I did with a kind of shuddering presage.
Next we took from the side of the room a long broad
bench, made easy to lie at length on by a soft cushion in a
callico-cover; and every thing being now ready, he took his
coat and waistcoat off; and at his motion and desire, I un-
button'd his breeches, and rolling up his shirt rather above
his waist, tuck'd it in securely there: when directing natur-
ally my eyes to that humoursome master-movement, in whose
favour all these dispositions were making, it seemed almost
shrunk into his body, scarce shewing its tip above the sprout
of hairy curls that cloathed those parts, as you may have
seen a wren peep its head out of the grass.
Stooping then to untie his garters, he gave them me for
the use of tying him down to the legs of the bench: a cir-
cumstance no farther necessary than, as I suppose, it made
part of the humour of the thing, since he prescribed it to
himself, amongst the rest of the ceremonial.
I led him then to the bench, and according to my cue,
play'd at forcing him to lie down: which, after some little
shew of reluctance, for form-sake, he submitted to; he was
straightway extended flat upon his belly, on the bench, with
a pillow under his face; and as he thus tamely lay, I tied
him slightly hand and foot, to the legs of it; which done,
his shirt remaining truss'd up over the small of his back, I
drew his breeches quite down to his knees; and now he lay,
in all the fairest, broadest display of that part of the
back-view; in which a pair of chubby, smooth-cheek'd and
passing white posteriours rose cushioning upwards from two
stout, fleshful thighs, and ending their cleft, or separa-
tion by an union at the small of the back, presented a bold
mark, that swell'd, as it were, to meet the scourge.
Seizing now one of the rods, I stood over him, and
according to his direction, gave him in one breath, ten
lashes with much good-will, and the utmost nerve and vigour
of arm that I could put to them, so as to make those fleshy
orbs quiver again under them; whilst he himself seem'd no
more concern'd, or to mind them, than a lobster would a flea-
bite. In the mean time, I viewed intently the effects of
them, which to me at least appear'd surprisingly cruel: every
lash had skimmed the surface of those white cliffs, which
they deeply reddened, and lapping round the side of the fur-
thermost from me, cut specially, into the dimple of it such
livid weals, as the blood either spun out from, or stood in
large drops on; and, from some of the cuts, I picked out even
the splinters of the rod that had stuck in the skin. Nor was
this raw work to be wonder'd at, considering the greenness of
the twigs and the severity of the infliction, whilst the
whole surface of his skin was so smooth-stretched over the
hard and firm pulp of flesh that fill'd it, as to yield no
play, or elusive swagging under the stroke: which thereby
took place the more plum, and cut into the quick.
I was however already so mov'd at the piteous sight,
that I from my heart repented the undertaking, and would
willingly have given over, thinking he had full enough; but,
he encouraging and beseeching me earnestly to proceed, I gave
him ten more lashes; and then resting, survey'd the increase
of bloody appearances. And at length, steel'd to the sight
by his stoutness in suffering, I continued the discipline, by
intervals, till I observ'd him wreathing and twisting his
body, in a way that I could plainly perceive was not the
effect of pain, but of some new and powerful sensation: curi-
ous to dive into the meaning of which, in one of my pauses of
intermission, I approached, as he still kept working, and
grinding his belly against the cushion under him; and, first
stroking the untouched and unhurt side of the flesh-mount
next me, then softly insinuating my hand under his thigh,
felt the posture things were in forwards, which was indeed
surprizing: for that machine of his, which I had, by its ap-
pearance, taken for an impalpable, or at best a very diminu-
tive subject, was now, in virtue of all that smart and havoc
of his skin behind, grown not only to a prodigious stiffness
of erection, but to a size that frighted even me: a non-
pareil thickness indeed! the head of it alone fill'd the ut-
most capacity of my grasp. And when, as he heav'd and wrig-
gled to and fro, in the agitation of his strange pleasure,
it came into view, it had something of the air of a round
fillet of the whitest veal, and like its owner, squab, and
short in proportion to its breadth; but when he felt my hand
there, he begg'd I would go on briskly with my jerking, or he
should never arrive at the last stage of pleasure.
Resuming then the rod and the exercise of it, I had
fairly worn out three bundles, when, after an increase of
struggles and motion, and a deep sigh or two, I saw him lie
still and motionless; and now he desir'd me to desist, which
I instantly did; and proceeding to untie him, I could not but
be amazed at his passive fortitude, on viewing the skin of
his butcher'd, mangled posteriours, late so white, smooth and
polish'd, now all one side of them a confused cut-work of
weals, livid flesh, gashes and gore, insomuch that when he
stood up, he could scarce walk; in short, he was in sweet-
briars.
Then I plainly perceived, on the cushion, the marks of a
plenteous effusion, and already had his sluggard member run
up to its old nestling-place, and enforced itself again, as
if ashamed to shew its head; which nothing, it seems, could
raise but stripes inflicted on its opposite neighbours, who
were thus constantly obliged to suffer for his caprice.
