I struggle with depression, have my entire life. Most of the time, it is quite manageable. While others not so much.
Like many, 2020 was an enormous heartache. 2021, however, started and was Looking stellar... that was until my emotional flaw showed itself with devestating effects.
So desperate to be and feel loved, I jumped right in to a relationship with a controlling, who turned out to be kinda mean.
see.... She breaks up with me a few months in because I have a best friend that is female. didn't matter that she is involved. it didn't matter that we were not involved. it didn't matter that the friendship is over 25 years old. nothing mattered, because I must me fucking her.
um... no.
That sucks, but ok.
Then she gets mean.
Real mean. I don't get it!
Hell, I am friends with my cheating ex-wife.
mean isn't my style!
of course, this happens near: my 52 birthday; Mother's Day; and the 8th anniversary of my Mom's death from breast cancer at the age of 67 after a 8 year battle...
I emotionally tailspin.
6 months of feeling ok to shit in a heartbeat.
A month has now passed and I still feel like there is little hope for happiness. Logic says, this is not truth. Hard to see past that when you're sad because you're lonely and you're lonely because you're sad and nobody wants to be close to that.
It's a vicious circle.. :(