I contemplate many things, like many people. I ponder their meaning to me and to others. However the one contemplation that eludes me and everyone else is the contemplation of LOVING another.
We all see the feeling of being loved, and we desire loving someone. However we are all imperfect in our knowledge and comprehension of such a complex emotion and action. Yes i did say action. Being in love is a feeling or emotion, while Loving another is all about action.
We may have great communication with the ones we love, or the one we seek to love. But beyond that communication comes the hardest of all things, self comprehension. When we are asked what makes us happy, or what does love mean to us we all have our own ideas. Yet even those ideas are sometimes eluding to ourselfs. Many say for me to feel loved, i want to feel wanted, and respected. However it goes much deeper then this.
People that receive what they want or think they want are never fully happy. Because not of the individual giving them what they seek, but because or two important things, one is hard to control while the other is almost impossible to defeat. They are both negatives, one is not so great as the other.
First we get what we want and desire more. This one thing is common in all of us, however this one feeling is not a completely bad thing. It is us growing in our own understanding, what we fail to do is communicate those changes to our lover or loved ones. We tend to hide that we desire, or in some cases need more. Or even deeper that we are understanding ourselfs better, and have formed new understandings of ourselfs. We fail to communicate this change or this desire and this is when it becomes a negative that can hurt each other. Yes it is that which we hide that hurts us more, then that which we do not receive. This is where we fail ourselfs and not our loved ones. And this is something we should all strive to avoid.
Secondly is that we all have a problem with receiving. We have bad things happen in our lifes, we have many hard times, and because of these we feel we are not deserving of such a love from another. You see we know ourselfs better then most, and because of this we tend to weigh everything. We way the good and the bad, and when the bad has tipped our scales for so long, we tend to feel this is the way our life is ment to be. This one feeling is hardest of all to break free from. This one feeling is hardest to overcome. Yet when we stop and relise that we are all deserving of happiness, it is then that we can relise. That the love another gives us, is a love we can hold near and true to our hearts. It is a love that we deserve and should charish. For this kind of love is hardest to find, and is hardest to ignore. We see it in our hearts, in our minds, in our souls, in every breath we take. Yet we use what we feel is logic, when infact it is a defence mechanism we have built to protect ourselfs from pain.
For the loss of love is greater then any other emotion break we can have. We want it so badely, we desire it so deeply, that when we find it we never want to let it go. No one person can deny this, for it is the greatest emotion in us beyond anything. It is a emotion that tangles all others into one emotion. It is the only emotion that brings us both happiness and sadness. And because of that we tend to shy from it when it is nearest us.
How can we fully understand what Loving another is? How can we fully embrass how to be loved? How can we see real love when its in front of us? Most importantly how can we avoid the walls we set to block out love?
These are the contemplations we all must answer. These are the walls we must break on our own. However if we want to break through, or we want to crush the walls to gravel and walk on them as a new road in lifes never ending journey. We must first be willing to open our hearts and let them guide us. For when we rely on our heart, our mind will fight, but follow. And the greatest enemy to love, is a mind filled with pain, past lies, past pains, and the constant belief that good is not allowed to us. For the mind is made to defend the heart, but we have to relise that once we get control of our mind, we can then let our heart control us. And when our heart controls our actions, we give love rather then seek it. And when you begin to give love that is when you will suredly find love.
