745pm
Ok so lately I've been confused.
About what? About everything and nothing.
So going back to my older blog, well the one before this one... I've been seriously thinking about what I want out of life.
Sure one of the things I want is to finish school and it seems like it's been forever. Only a few of my close friends know what's going on in my life. *sighs*
I'm at a point where I've thought everything through and I'm seriously ready for a relationship and I'm ready to go back out there. I won't know what's out there unless I am out there, if you catch my drift.
I've got to get these feelings out of the way. I've been somewhat lonely these past few days only because I've been away on a business trip. I missed my friends, my home, my bed, my car, my liberty... etc... I did not miss my parents arguing or work drama.
Yesterday, was the day of days. I initially called work on Sunday evening/night letting them know I wouldn't be in at work on Monday. Turns out the stupid supervisor bitch called out. I know she's sick and everything, but dude I'm jet lagged. I've covered her shift and mine. Turns out she called out 2 hrs before our shift, which was at 4 when she called out for our 6am shift. So I ignored the call. Then I get a 2nd call at 415 and it turns out to be my manager. Asking and pleading that I go in. I take advantage of this situation because 1st) I need the money, and 2nd) they owe me a favor.
I got paid on Friday, right, but my check seemed a tad bit short... didn't think too much of it, so I thought ok whatever. I told my manager if the 8hrs are approved and told me they were but for the next check. I'm ok with it. He told me, if I needed to take the next couple of days off, I could. I told him I wouldn't because I don't want to use up my PTO.
In case no one knew, which I'm sure no one did, I am getting laid off. Well not just me, but everyone in the company I work for. We're all getting laid off at the end of the month. *sighs*
So yeah I went in to work. Came home, checked email. Went to the gym, showered, came back, took a nap, but I didn't wake up until this morning lol.
Anywho back to my original train of thought. I want to go back to school seriously, and I will. I have to further challenge myself and keep doing it. I can't just keep dropping classes left and right. I have to prove to myself that if I went TWO semesters straight, I could keep going another 2 and make it 3 and so forth. I also want to go back out there and get to know ME. My needs, and my wants. I want to get to know other people. Maybe network and whatnot. Who knows, maybe i'll meet Mr Right (for the time being of course).
I've thought a lot about my high school reunion which is 4 yrs away and I'm not going. It's too much for me to bare. Not pain or heartache, but pity. I won't get too much into it, but I'm sure I won't be missed. I made everyone cry on our graduation day, even though it was through a poem. I have that much of an effect on people I believe.
Anywho, yeah I want to be a little bit selfish and focus on my needs. I've been thinking about others before thinking of myself. So I don't think it's unfair. What do you think? Everyone's told me it's about damn time. even my bff's... and my ex's... well the ones I still keep in touch with.... 754pm
