Unicorns TearsIronezzz Lady's blog: "confusion"

PISCES: The Piece of ass¢¾ Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high SEX appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. lol I love these things...don't know how true this one is but yeah i like to get my own way, and i am fun to be around...lol

Mothers day was always special to me even when we were fighting I always loved her And now this day means so much more because now I am a mother My life is my son my breath is his my heart is his I never knew love until I held him the first time His first breath was mine I felt alive and scared as shit he depends on me for everything and the most precious gift is a dandilion and kiss from my lil man and my mothers day is made tears gather as I think about what this day means and to have someone wish me happy mothers day i thought once that i would never have this this precious lil man teaching me far more than i am teaching him so sweet so innocent breathing life into me on this day and every other its not easy doing it on my own its not easy to let someone in but life is not easy unless your three and then everything is simple and sometimes it is fun just to play all day and that is all we did we played all day it was the best mothers day!

First real winter snow blanketing my little piece of the earth my mind is thousands of miles away with you thinking, daydreaming, dreaming of you wondering if this could be real praying it is..and praying i don't get hurt again it is so pretty out here mountains behind me beside me a stream gently flowing caressing the rocks and easing my soul crisp, cool air blowing against my face a shiver running down my spine as i think of your words your smile your face. hope grows anew under a thin layer of perfection a winter wonderland wondering what it would be like to curl up in your arms and wake up there. never ceasing to amaze me the way i feel right now a mixture of hope and fear the urge to run away but my heart is alreading screaming to stay to see to give us a chance. so in my litle winter wonderland i sit and watch the snow fall amazed at mother natures beauty and listen to my heart as it skips a beat when i think of you holding my breath and waiting for that day

My dearest Soldiers so little appreciation given for all you give never enough thank you's for a job done either way you come home the honor you bestow on us to wake up everyday and know you are there to protect us to the children who will grow up to be in your shoes one day those who just yesterday playing soldiers and today go off to war i pray your safe homecoming and welcoming smiles with hugs and kisses from loved ones i wish for you to come home.....

sometimes silence is healing to the soul sometimes silence is a forwarning of evil sometimes silence is a beginning of the end sometimes silence is just a beginning my heart screams silently as tears stream down my face unknown killing my soul or perhaps breathing new life into some shut off space inside my mind that is not always pretty or forgiving but haunted by the past to read too much into anything can be heartbreaking or uplifting unkind images dance in my mind evil once consumed by the one i adored evil broke me once left the pieces you now see so i sit and wonder nothing taken for granted because it is only when we draw that next breath that we know we are alive for that moment so each moment is precious do not waste it on silence my life has not always been pretty it has played many tricks on me i give my heart where it is usually unwanted and pick up the pieces slowly never quite the same each breath is just a moment you know you are alive and from there you can just breath and take the next step and the next and pray i bend like a bow instead of snapping like a twig and come out of this breath and into the next another step, another slide, another day

High above the ground where i hide in the clouds dancing with the angels and dreaming of what my heart hides wondering if this dream will last or will i just slip again my heart holds the dreams of the little girl lost the part i hide from the world the part that i don't admit too because it hurts to dream to have hope to try again to laugh and cry within the arms of another to be held through the night and dream of waking up next to you everyday of another child...... time will tell me if this is real or an illusion my heart may have already decided.... if you can handle that then just maybe i can dream again and slip into sleep in your arms and be loved.....?

an odd place to be an odd frame of mind neither happy nor sad just here healing yet again... i somehow torture myself with demons of self doubt perhaps some guilt, and hatred too I don't act like people expect I will walk away then rather deal with pain or rejection... i am shy and oldfashion... and i will not fight for something or someone that was never mine to begin with... i don't ask for much just respect and friendship but usually that is too much in this world of selfishness and egos no time to play games with you for i have one child to entertain i do not need two i am too easy-going to play games like that anyway too much work and i have better things to do

i give in I danced in the rain today it wasn't a warm rain more harsh, refreshing i had too to rinse the pain away and to give in to my inner child who just wanted to dance to natures song...and feel free again it was exhilirating barefoot..dancing from rock to rock a leap here...and twirl there.. all sorts of moves from years of lessons all leading me to the biggest puddle in our yard what joy that was! icy water...meeting with cold toes splashing in the freezing water just because i wanted too i kicked and i stomped tension finally released as i danced my way back to the house i smiled at the passing strangers just staring at me my neighbors just smiled and waved back laughing with me because this was something only i would do.. in january.... what fun is there in life if you don't play and listen to your inner child i thought she died somewhere long ago comfort in knowing i am loved by my child if no one else that my friends care.... and hold me accountable these are the two most precious gifts love of a child and friends...true friends and i have both so i am happy for now.....

Windy, rainy, dreary day... not very conclusive for a good day... but very good for this hurting soul... to sit on the windowseat... arms wrapping around my legs in effort to keep the chill away and my forehead resting on the glass eyes closed just breath and let it all come back. A day to look back on my life... everything wasn't always so bad then i was happy for a long time when i thought i could have it all the man i adored... and to be his wife. it dawned on me that i could smile about those times and not feel so shattered at there loss... because that was early on in that part of my life.. i know i am stronger now some days not by much, but i am stronger because of my friends and family and some very special men in my life who don't tolerate anything else! so as i sat there this afternoon... with my child callin mommie, mommie! and my forehead against the glass i smiled.... beloved angel in my lap kissing mommies tears he nurtures me as much as i nurture him i do believe its not really so bad my life that is i am not as far as i should be but i have come farther than most I have to laugh at myself sometimes.. I feel so weak, and unlovable.. yet when i look back and remember how harsh i was and can be still to my son's father when his behavior is worse then my son's... i have to laugh...because i know what the signs are now.... I have learned my lesson... and my mother named me aptly... i am worthy of love!

the slow warming burn of passions best forgotten for the past has burned me badly and what good there was is overshadowed by violence so even though your touch once made me come alive you will never have another chance but to find that slow burn again where heat and passion overcome any pain where breathe is drawn in gasps and skin slides together kisses are intensified buy a hunger unnamed and touching is a necessity not a diversion that is what i long to find again a passion so complete that i will be blown away by the intentsity where in the end i will lay in my lovers arms and still want more like the most addictive drug one touch, one kiss is never enough