i have had alot of things going on in my life right now... and i dunno wat to do about alot of them. one thing is certain, there is sum1 in my life that i do not wanna lose. and im afraid that im going to. i feel like im walkin on glass with everything i say and do. i wanna tell him how i feel, but im scared to death. im afraid that if i tell him, that he will walk away and not come back. he makes me smile and laugh. not too many people can do that very often. thinking of him gets me through my dayz... and lately my dayz have been very stressful. i dont know wat im gonna do when he deploys. i am so scared and confused right now. i hate going to sleep every night knowing that im going to wake up alone the next morning. i dont wanna do anything to hurt him, nor do i wanna be hurt. those who know me well enuff, know that ive been hurt more than enuff. i guess it builds character, but i think i have enuff character to last me the rest of my life. but i guess i will shut up now and go to sleepy sleeps and dream of my ummm, yeah, u know...