SENILE COOT's blog: "Confession is good for the soul"

My Sister Gail  died yesterday morning of respitory failure and mercer .   She was five years older than I  will 4 children and 8 grand children.   She had suffered liver failure 20 years ago and somehow survived.

We had a strained relationship because of her personality and life choices .

But I remember random acts of kindness in the Hell we called a childhood  When she would stop my mother from beating and kicking me.

Or when she would deside to take me out to get away from my mother for a while.

I hold on to those memories of drinking pepsi and playing rummy  of her buying me a pair of shoes when my mother would not ,

I helped raise her children so its rough watching them deal with all this. 

But as a Christian I believe that her wounded spirit has been heald and all is well with her now.

Rest in peace Sissy Deeo  (Gail)

I am sorry if I go blank and forget what i am doing or who i am talking to.   The meds have me al Emo  and confused.

I can only look at the screen for a few minutes then have to look away and lets my eyes rest.

This is my first unsupervised day at home and already im in tears because i look at all the pills and have no idea what they do or what they are.

i dont walk or see very well  so it is both peaceful and boring at the same time :s

My wife put meals and intructions out but i already scewed up and had lunch for breackfast.

I cant even take a shower until she gets home  I feel so stupid needing a shower chair .

I guess it takes a long time to heal from a stroke espcially if you ignored it for the first 8 hours and didnt get treatment.

I want to thank you all for the wellwishes , I am just ranting and venting because im feeling sorry for myself.

it will all turn out okay  :)    Love Coot

My vision is very poor today so if i screw up and miss you or misspell something opps!

so far so bad today  But I did remember my morning meds :)

This trying to think though a heavy fog while going 100 miles an hour crap is for the birds.

I had an IM feeling sorry for myself day yesterday so i am trying to shake that off.

It is just that I know that I am not pulling my weight at work But they wont let me take early retirement because they want to keep me around until  someones kid is advanced enough though the ranks to take my position .

and that could take years.

The wife and I are not getting any younger and there are still things she and I could do together before my mind deteriorates any furthure .

I am starting to babble so I am going to stop before I make a total fool of myself

Luv Dave

If I have failed to like , rate, or anything else I am sorry.   As a lot of you know I have been very sick for the past 7 years  and it gets progressivly worse.   I have early onset dementia, liver and kidney problems that affect my vision ,  I have to use a magnifying glass to read my shout box, when i can find it.

I have good days and bad days I am working with a group of doctors using experimentel drugs on me.

I do NOT  want anyone to feel sorry for me, It does not hurt , well exept my pride.  I can still work and drive short distances.  I sometimes cant remember names or i wander around the house because I forgot what i was doing.

It was cause by tramatic brain injury on my job  So I have Great Job security :)

I just do not want anyone to have hurt feelings if i neglect them.  I really try and i keep notes by my computer that help me.

God has given me a very blessed life So i have nothing to complain about..........sometimes i still do though :)

if i dont answer something it is most likely that i have fallen asleep in my chair all cosy in my electric blanket  or wandered away from my computer :s   I do that a lot LOL

I love ya all   David