SENSE, Common (Birth date unknown)
Today we mourn the passing of a dearly beloved old friend, who has been with us for many years by the name of Common Sense. No one truly knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were lost long ago in bureaucratic red tape, however he will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as:
> Knowing when to come in out of the rain
> Why the early bird gets the worm
> That life isn't always fair
Common Sense lived by a simple, yet sound financial policy (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategy (adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health had begun to deteriorate when well intentioned, but overbearing regulations were set in place. There were reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; of teens being suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher that was fired for reprimanding an unruly student. His condition rapidly declined even further when he learned that schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live when he learned the Ten Commandments and prayer in schools became contraband, churches became businesses, and that criminals were receiving better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally laid down and died after hearing that a woman failing to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement. Not many attended his funeral because so few realize he is gone.
Common Sense was preceded in death and is buried by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. A stepbrother (My Rights) and a stepsister (Ima Whiner), survive him.
Author Unknown
