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I'm somewhat starting over. With trusting people... and letting some (very few) individuals in... Some things you should know, if adding, or fanning or wtf ever you do here... I'm an attention whore. And some days I will do anything I can to get that attention. From males or females. I'm a flirt. Plain and Simple. Doesn't mean I'mma be flirting with anyone and everyone either. Just because I love attention doesn't mean I will want or need it from just bout anyone. If I don't feel it's sincere, I don't notice it... it just gets tossed aside and I move on to next in line. I love people, sometimes too much. If I get close to someone I open up, and sometimes, I get attached, and get hurt. This happened too recently with someone I trusted a LOT... but when someone begs and pleads to be put in a box with you where only you and a very small amount of people are allowed in... it's hard to turn them away. He was 2nd to my husband as my friend. I knew him a short time but I felt we had a lot in common, therefore a lot to offer each other as friends. He fucked me over, hurt me. End of Story. After a 2 day period of time of suffering and blubbering I realized... if he walked away, it was his problem, not mine. Which, means he just fucked up a good thing. No one, no matter who you are, will ever come before my husband, accept our kids.. but that's not the point. I want people close to me, I want good friends (and a good friend with benefits here and there *wink wink*) our relationship is not normal, and it is not up for debate. He's not who he comes off to be, he's protective, and sometimes possessive, but in a good way. We've been together 10 yrs, and now he's given me some room to let loose, but he's still cautious because he's seen me get hurt.. a LOT... So.. if you care to get to know me. I'm a yahoo messenger away. I'm also on myspace. Anyways... blah. I felt the need to give this up.. if you want to know more. feel free to ask... but don't mistake me for what's on the outside, there's one big clusterfuck underneath, But I am REAL.. :)
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