Over 16,527,946 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
They're Back! Those Wonderful Church Bulletins!
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services (Summer, 2007 Release).
----------------------------------------------------------
The
Fasting &Prayer Conference includes
meals.
----------------------------------------------------------
The
sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on Water.' The sermon tonight:
'Searching for
Jesus.'
----------------------------------------------------------
Our
youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the
King.
----------------------------------------------------------
Ladies,
don't fo rget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things
not worth keeping around the house. Bring your
husbands.
----------------------------------
------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today
has been canceled due to a
conflict.
----------------------------------------------------------
Remember
in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is
hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about
you.
---------------------------------------------------------
Don't
let worry kill you off - let the Church
help.
---------------------------------------------------------
Miss
Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the
congregation.
----------------------------------------------------------
For
those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
--------------------------------------------------------
Next
Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they
can
get.
----------------------------------------------------------
The
Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:
'Break Forth Into
Joy.'
---------------------------------------------------------
Irving
Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends
a friendship that began in their school
days.
---------------------------------------------------------
A
bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
follow.
--------------------------------------------------
At the
evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come
early and listen to our choir practice.
---------------
------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are
currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the
deterioration of some older
ones.
---------------------------------------------------------
Scouts
are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds
will be used to cripple
children.
---------------------------------------------------------
Please
place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you
want
remembered.
---------------------------------------------------------
The
church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious
hostility.
-------------------------------------------------
Potluck
supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to
follow.
---------------------------------------------------------
The
ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
----------------
------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there
will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket
and come prepared to
sin.
---------------------------------------------------------
Ladies
Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited
to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
----------------------------------------------------------
The
pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem
Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back
door.
---------------------------------------------------------
The
eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Weight
Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use
large double door at the side
entrance.
----------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan: Last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours
