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Amy Jo's blog: "Chunky Chicks"

created on 01/24/2007  |  http://fubar.com/chunky-chicks/b48380
"Deadliest shooting in U.S. history." "... a tragedy of monumental proportions." 33 dead. I'm sure it was eerie being on any college campus yesterday. The news of the tragedy we watched unfold on our television screens at Virginia Tech created a cloud of uneasiness and sadness that hung steadily over our heads the entire day. And here we are. It's easy to get caught up in the comfort of our daily lives. By no means is there anything wrong with that, but Monday we seasoned something else. It was like running into the brick wall of reality — human struggle, human pain. The wind bit at us a little sharper. Food tasted a little more bitter. Voices sounded a little more sharp. Hugs felt a little more sweet. We saw images of Norris Hall surrounded by policemen and camera crews before we headed to Bowman Hall. We saw a campus in peril as we drudged through the cold on ours. As their faces flash on the news we see our brothers, sisters, moms, dads, classmates, friends, roommates, professors, boyfriends, girlfriends — those who mean the most to us. Like one University of Miami student said, "Today we are all Hokies." Today we all see maroon and burnt orange the colors of VT. Today we all feel human. And with them our hearts will be. "Forget any and all college affiliations today. For today, we are all Hokies."

Sex & Music

Sex and music-it's a winning combination and a very old recipe. Going back even further than our rich heritage of Marvin Gaye's greatest hits, those proper sounding madrigals suck as Bolero by Ravel aren't really as proper as you may think. Death lyrics often were euphemisms for sex. Despite my choir nerd background, it never really occurred to me to think of classical music as potential erotic theme songs. It makes sense though-they usually last about 15 minutes and build to a climax, right? Bonus if you can score something with cymbals crashing at the end. More popularly, we're looking at 20th century stuff, not that there's anything wrong with getting your Puccini on, if that's your thing. A friend of mine suggested Lauryn Hill to get your groove on. R&B in general seems to be a pretty popular choice-the music is pretty smooth, high on emotion and not without a good pulse to it. I'm not one to argue with that logic. My only caveat is to look out for lyrics. You may be feeling the vibe with the music, but if the lyrics are saying something like "Yeah, once I did her, she was just a dirty ho," don't be surprised if your date disappears as soon as you press the "play" button. If you're more like the hopeless romantic type, at least lyrically, then I suggest turning back to the classics. I'm talking about The Voice (Frank Sinatra) and Ella Fitzgerald. They lack the solid beat of their R&B offspring, but there's nothing like the classics to do it in style. Ah, the good ol' days. Just try not to think that it's quite possible you're making out to the same tunes your grandparents did. Ooh, creepy. If you don't mind corny lines like "Take it off, baby, take it all off ... I want you the way you came into the world ... I don't want to see no panties ... Take off that brassiere, my dear," feel free to delve into the world of Barry White. Cheesy? Yes, but some people can make anything sound sexy. I once went out with a guy who had decided that you couldn't go wrong with Blink-182, and he proceeded to charm me by playing "What's My Age Again" during our date. On infinite repeat. Needless to say, the only desire it produced in me was the desire to get far, far away from him. But to be fair, many people find punk-ish music to be a bit of an aphrodisiac. Punk's got a beat that's hard to ignore, and there seems to be a lot going on. My theory is that if you can work out to it at the gym, there's likely going to be a lot of crossover in the romance department. One thought though-your make-out music likely says a lot about your amorous personality, so what does it mean when your songs are 90 percent distortion and never last longer than two minutes? Hmm ... Musical preference is a big part of most people's personalities, including their sexual styles. The bottom line? Listen to what you like, be it Dave Matthews, U2 or 'N Sync. Music, like sex, should let you have a sense of personal connection. Heck, maybe you'd be singing along if your mouth weren't otherwise occupied. You and your partner may have "your song" to groove. You may want to avoid the songs you shared with your ex, as well as any mixed-tapes from previous relationships. Did anyone see that "Friends" episode? Still not convinced? Try some Enigma, Madonna "Bedtime Stories", or Nine Inch Nails "Closer."
Today, I thought I would talk about something that is important to all chicks and especially chunky chicks. For those of you who may know me or those of you who may read this blog, it is no secret that I am a big girl. What I find a lot of times, is that even the ones that are extraordinarily beautiful don't realize their own beauty. To make matters worse, it seems like too many other people with preconceived ideas of what should be beautiful don't realize the beauty that big girls possess. For many years now, we have been told that if you are not thin, you are not in. Smaller is best. Well I just say that I don't believe that one bit. I've seen many beautiful women who were not at all thin. Being a big girl often comes with low self-esteem and many stereotypes. Women think they are not pretty. They feel like they are not attractive enough to get a man to be interested in them. They think that something must be wrong with them if the guys don't look at them the same way they look at their thinner friends. The big girl is thinking to herself, what the hell has she got that I ain't got? It's like two girls in a bar. One skinny and one not skinny at all. The skinny girl gets picked up and hit on while the big girl gets no attention even though the two of them came to the bar together and the two of them are best friends. Now, why the hell is that? What if the big girl was the better woman? What if the big girl had more to offer a guy than the skinny girl did? What if the skinny girl is nothing but a hoe and the big girl was the nice decent girl? Being a big girl doesn't, in any way; mean that you are not beautiful. By the same token, being really skinny doesn't make you beautiful. Being a big girl doesn't mean that you cannot be beautiful. In addition to that, being beautiful doesn't make you a good woman. Good character is what makes you beautiful. A pleasant personality makes you beautiful. Sweetness is beauty. Your ability to get along with others and form lasting friendships makes you beautiful. Even shyness and being able to be affectionate, can be especially beautiful. If you have all of these things, you are a beautiful woman. That's the bottom line. Looks don't make you beautiful. You can be the best looking girl in town and still be ugly on the inside where it really counts. Because who wants to live with an awesomely beautiful chick who has a rotten personality. Being like totally beautiful has its own drawbacks. Most of the time, if a girl is like, totally beautiful, the guys she meets are only thinking of one thing and one thing only. They are thinking about how quickly they can get your panties off and your legs open. No girl wants to be treated like that. In the case of big girls, their biggest problem is that guys spend more time looking at their titts than they do looking into their eyes. They seem to have some kind of preconceived notion that big girls are easy when they aren't any easier than any other type of girl. That, in my opinion is degrading to all women not just big women. On the other hand, a girl who may not be blessed with society's idea of good looks; might have a wonderful personality and be very very sweet and affectionate. A girl like this is more likely to get guys to pay attention to who she is and what she is all about, rather than having to worry about them wondering how long it will take them to get into her panties. A good lesson for guys to learn, to have and keep a really good woman, you need to get her to open her heart and her mind before you start trying to get her to open her legs. Every girl has the same thing in her panties but their hearts and minds are what make each girl truly special. It isn't her ability to spread her legs and have sex that makes her special. It is her ability to love and be loved, to be affectionate, to be sweet, honest, loyal and faithful that makes her a good woman. I know that it is easy to believe something when it has been told to you over and over again all of your life. And the things that big girls are told are that because they are chunky, they aren't pretty. It's the jokes, the looks, the cracks other people make behind your back, the constant reminders every day that you are somehow different and the things you know that people are thinking but would never say to your face. I am here to say that it is their ignorance that makes them say those things and act the way they do. It is girls that are the hardest on other girls. The guys play a big part too but girls, by nature, are very competitive with, and jealous of, each other. Chicks can be down right brutal to each other. It seems to be especially prevalent in certain situations in which men are involved. There are way too many mean people in the world. For whatever reason, some people have nothing better to do with their miserable lives than to go around hurting other people. It isn't any different for the people who make fun of chicks for things they have no control over. No girl in the world says to herself when she is growing up, "when I grow up, I want to weigh 275 pounds, endure all the jokes and looks from people and be ashamed of how I look and be depressed because I think I'm not pretty". If you are told the same thing over and over, you will begin to believe it. Even the most aggressive dog can be beaten into submission. What I am trying to say here is to tell you that no matter what people say about you, you are pretty. You have the same rights as every one else to look and feel pretty. You have the same right as every one else to wear those pretty or sexy clothes and feel good about doing it. Each woman is unique and special in her own way. No two chicks are a like. You have to be you because you can't be somebody else and you have to be proud of who and what you are. If you feel pretty and confident, other people will notice and you will get more attention paid to you. Every girl deserves love, affection and attention. So go on honey, take what is rightfully yours! Hold your head up high and say to yourself, I am proud to be a big girl and I am proud of who and what I am. If other people don't like it, that's their freaking problem and not yours! There is somebody out there that would be honored to have you as their friend or their girlfriend or their wife. There is some one out there who wantsto know who the real you is so show them! Don't be afraid of other people's opinions!
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