Twas the night before christmas
And all through the house
Everybody felt shitty
Even the mouse
Mom at the whorehouse
And dad smoking grass
I'd just settle down
For a nice piece of ass
When out on the lawn'
I heard such a clatter
I sprung from my piece
To see what was a matter.
Then out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew in a monment
It must be saint nick
He came down the chimey
Like a bad out of hell
I knew in a moment
The fucker had fell
He filled all stockings
With pretzels and beer
And a thounderous fart
The son of a bitch
Blew the chimney Apart
He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Piss on you all'
And a Hell Of A Night