Somedays are definitely better than others. There have been a few people I know off on tirades about how things suck so bad. Some days I could choose to have that feeling. I also know that how I feel and how I react are all about the choices I make. If I give you power to determine how I feel then shame on me. It is not a healthy relationship of any kind. I don't have to feel bad because you turn out to be not the erson I thought you were, I can choose to use it as a learning experience and move forward from there. I attract people into my life who are looking for the same type of things that I am.
I have no idea where this is going but I feel that I am falling back into a place where I allow others to determine my emotional state. I have a good friend that I let hurt my feelings yesterday. With the medication I am on I walk a fine line between addiction and ongoing recovery. She is one of those who thinks I need to get off my meds. If I don't take them I would be unable to walk at all. I am in way to much pain without them to even want to think about going there.
I love my life that I have been given by the grace of my Higher Power and the Recovery Program I choose to live and work. I am a person today who I would even hang out with. 20 years ago I would not have wanted my worst enemy to hang out with me.
Enough babbling. I guess the bottom line is that I need to take responsibility for the outcomes of my choices and address the hard issues that keep me tied down to the past. That is what will allow my to grow and change.
Blessings to all, Nancy "Dolphin Lover"
