A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey
grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and
eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard
balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it
whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, 'Did you see what your monkey just did?'
The guy says 'No, what?'
He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!'
'Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,' replied the guy, 'he eats
everything in sight, the little bast-rd. Sorry. I'll pay for the
cue ball and stuff.'
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the
monkey ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with
him.
He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a
maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his backside,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again
sticks it up his backside, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is
disgusted.
'Did you see what your monkey did now? He asks.
'No, what?'replies the guy.
'Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his backside,
pulled it out, and ate it!' said the bartender.
'Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,' replied the guy. 'He
still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass
that cue ball, he measures everything first.'
