THIS IS AN INTERNET CHAT WITH A FOREIGN LADY.
Q = her questioning
A = me answering
Q by ME = me questioning
A by HER = her answering
Q: Do you believe in marriage?
A: I think it is overrated. Two of mine failed. The Bible says it is valid and advisable. I believe that at least divorce is advisable under certain circumstances also. People are insecure sometimes if they just live together long term relationship without getting married, and then there are also inheritance issues. I would prefer just long term relationship this time, but for a foreignor to come to US and stay a few years there are only 3 ways that I am aware of my to do so legally -- 1. student visa to go to college 2. their job is high-tech in short supply in US so a company certifies needed desperating and they can get a waiver to come for a job 3.they come for IMMEDIATE marriage not just a romance beginning. So for that reason in our case I presume that the 3rd would be most appropriate.
Q: Okay thats is good
A: Also only marriage allows the social security of one person to be available for spouse percentage after having been married at least 10 years.
Q: Ok
A: Spouse can of course use their own social security which might be higher, but at least they have an extra choice to pick from it married.
Q: Okay baby thats sound good
A: I have an essay called "Sexual Politics" which discusses of the winding turns considerations for women and me and social security. If I haven't sent it please ask now and I will do so immediately.
Q: All relationships have some adjustment periods, but being hurt shouldn’t be part of being in love. Loving relationships have good qualities, such as support from your partner, a willingness to communicate, a desire to compromise, and open an honest communication. When you do not have these fundamental qualities in a relationship, that relationship isn’t likely to grow, and become something that you desire...
A: The only thing you mentioned above which we haven't yet discussed is "adjustment periods".
Q: And i hope u have understand me
A: Yes you are quite eloquent and I don't see how anybody but a retarded person could possibly misunderstand.
A: Of grown up people I mean.
Q: We all turn to our loved ones for support from time to time. When your loved one does not offer you their support it may be time to look at your relationship. As we all want to nurture those that we love. We want the best in life for those that we care about....
A: Yes "look at your relationship" may sometimes be adviseable.
A: That might be a moment to discuss with other friends both male and female not just with your spouse.
Q: If your partner is unwilling to listen to you, and to your problems, they are not meeting your needs when you need support. Support can come in many forms, someone lending an ear, someone going out of their way to help you, or something as simple as a phone call to cheer you up. Make sure your partner gives you support when you need it...
A: i.e. annoying behaviors however small and insignificant that somehow bug you.
A: Support needed particularly when you have job stress.
Q: When engaging in a relationship with another person there is always going to be things that you do not agree upon. You want to have the ability to compromise so both partners are getting their wishes met. This may mean one night you watch football, and one night your partner watches a movie you enjoy....
A: For me when young, I needed some sex to energize sometimes for the job.
Q by ME: Does sex energize or drain you ? I regard that dirty talk is partially just flirtation to get used to the opposite sex, and partially escalating chemistry attraction for sexual encounter.
Q by ME:: Which does it do -- Energize or does it drain, or does it do BOTH ?
I mean the sex, not the dirty talk flirtation.
A by HER: Umm i think Both lol
Q by ME: Do you see some specific tradeoffs there ? If so, have you assessed the tradeoffs and come to a definite conclusion for advise to myself and others, or is it just a feeling that well sometimes perhaps you should take a week off to recuperate. Or a month. or LOL
I haven't personally assessed the tradeoffs that much.
I have had a moderate sex drive from the beginning.
I may SOUND like an obsessed sex addict in my letters, but that is not so.
I have just been "deprived" either because of myself or a wife, and I don't want to end up with none of it.... lol
A by her: lol
Q by ME: THAT IS WHY I WANT TO GET MARRIED AGAIN !!!! LOL
Perhaps I should just learn to enjoy fantasies and looking at beautiful photos, whether in nice clothes or nude.
Q: If someone isn’t willing to compromise, they are not willing to acknowledge your wants and desires. If they can not acknowledge your wants they are likely not emotionally developed enough for you to have your needs met...
A: Indeed I agree wholeheartedly that if don't ack your wants they are either 1.immature 2. secretly not really in love 3. don't know their own mind ( which may be different from 1 is it or is it the same ? ) 3. just selfish 4. cheating on you 4. withholding in order to obtain power trip over you
5 withholding -- which would be partially insecurity of an extreme nature
Q: Open and honest communication is one of the more desirable qualities you want to have in a relationship. Watch to see that your partner is not secretive, nor are they willing to tell lies to avoid certain subjects.
A: What is my "grade" so far on your "psychological therapist" questionairres ? I am hope at least a B-.
Q by ME: How many men have you had serious relationships of companionship with in the past, not necessarily sexual ?
Perhaps I should have said "long lasting". Take it either way you prefer.
Besides family members I mean.
A by HER: Oh well i have been with one man
Q by ME: Then how did you get so mature ?
A by HER: Umm i dont understand u
Q by ME: Well, with me maturity has come only really at age 42, because previously I didn't know my own mind and you are much younger than that. What about "best friends" men, have you had any of those to advise you ?
Or are you just what they call an "old soul" in New Age circles ?
A by HER: lol
A by HER: Ohh well i believe that age is just a number love comes form the heart ok
I will be much young for you but when it come to true love i will be the frist one how will love always and forever No matter what i will be with you
Q by ME: My parents and grandparents didn't assist me in growing up to overcome my basic lack of common sense which is why I was so naive, gullible, incurably romantic, dimwit for so long, almost a moron. I was only a prodigy in spiritual maturity. I had to learn more than courage -- I had to learn GUMPTION and prudent and EQUITY, the latter 2 from the Bible, and the 1st from facts of life and mystical moments and torment.
Note that gumption is a spiritual upgrade of courage.
Note that equity is much better than either fairness or reasonableness.
A by HER: ohh i see
