WikdClownz69's blog: "Confusion Is The Consensus"

October 1, 2002 Subtlety, Thy Name is Not Damien. The world is full of many very good Shit talkers. People really disappoint me. Tommy DeLucas- A twenty-eight year old alcoholic that's bi-polar, schizophrenic with demential tendencies towards boredom on Lithium and Paxil or whatever it is we do to fill the void within. Damien LaRouche: That was a solemn moment of silence for the seperation of Me and I. Pink Bunny Rabbits everywhere. TMI-USA. I really do believe that Terrorists have a lot to do with the current Dockworkers Lockout at the Port of Los Angeles. Not a bad Inside Job, if you ask me. Something like a billion dollars a day if not more are lost for everyday those ships sit, just because of someone's Stoopid Stubbornness. Conflict (A letter to Vince Guthrie from Damien) Dear Vince, Congratulations! You and Your hatred for me has successfully scared and intimidated a Harbor View patient (and new friend, who visits my gallery about four to five times a week). A person who used to be a fully functional member of Society with a BA Degree in Math and an ex-assistant manager position at a Bank Of America Branch. At least until one day, when he was involved in a violent Robbery. Ever since, he has been in and out of Mental Institutions for over six years. Almost in a comatose state at one time, his counselor gave him a brush and some paint. He soon learned he was an artist. He just recently has been able to walk on the streets , independent of Supervision. I Salute You, a Vietnam Vet, able to bring a highly disturbed friend into tears. Someone who has been asking me for weeks if he could help me in any way. The wood he was sanding when you accosted him, Did NOT need to be sanded, and for the Record, I did instruct him to sand Inside the door. He, unfortunately has to be told sometimes 2 or 3 times because he has difficulty comprehending orders and directions. Keep on being a Hateful Bastard, Vince Today was your best! Damien... October 2, 2002 Damien (After Finding Julia again): "When I found her again, she was sick and my first thought was to protect her and make her well again. I was overly joyed that she was still alive and still somewhat mentally intact. After all the time I had carried her soul with me, I finally knew the time had come to put it all back together again, to finally make it all all right and fix what was broken. My ALL was all around me now. All the questions I had for Her could wait. She had many questions of her own that she wanted to ask me, and now I finally had a lot of the answers for Her, but they could wait until She was better and Un-SIC. She was covered in sores and scars, and she could barely speak at all, though she was really trying to talk to me to tell me what Had happened to Her. Obviously something really serious had happened to Her because She was severely lacking in Spirit as She sat and shivered before me. It also appeared that 'They' had ampututated her... Her..." At this point, Damien sat back in his chair and seemed to completely drain of all color as he slouched in his seat. You could almost see the tears begin to well up under his face and make their way towards his eyes. Lawrence Talbot consoled his brother but still quietly pleaded to hear the rest of Damien's story. Damien's Inner Demons wrestled for recognition and could visibly be seen within his tortured eyes. Damien: I need a little room to play in so I don't get claustrophobic. One all by my lonesome. Everything that is said is only said to fill the void inside our heads. The wounds of my mind will not heal and stay gaping, pen and loose for all passing debris to pull itself apart within the growing confines of the wound. Tommy DeLucas: Pick some flowers to put on my headstone when the time comes to put on the final act. When the show is over, dust me off and pick up the pieces, but don't try to put me back together again, because I'll have probably moved on to something better by then. Put the pieces in the fire and turn them to ashes, then put them in a skywriting plane and write my Name in the sky for my Last Good-Bye on the day I die.... Prophet: If you watch closely, you can see the Crows flock around and protect Him as He goes about his day. Everywhere He goes, they follow him discreetly in the background. Always in the background, they handle all of the necessary business that needs to be attended to and taken care of. That way, He is free to Document all that is needed for the Scribe's Sake. That way He Is alone and also free for when the Fairae Goddess returns to reclaim Her Lost Love. Miss UNDERSTOOD STOPPED BY. Goddess: When She Returns to Her rightful place at His side, all will be returned to Normal and all the pieces will again be in place. When beauty is back in Her Throne, all will be well... When....... Tommy DeLucas: The New Police Chief of Los Angeles and Mayor James Hahn came by the Coffeehouse this morning. The media covered the scene shortly before their arrival, and the Sheep mulled over there and filled the Coffee Shop as the entourage peered in and surrounded them. A lady with a cell phone called her friend who lives within sight of the Coffee shop to tell them to look to the right of the Information Kiosk on 6th Street to see the Mayor and Police Chief from New York. Oh, Such fun in San Pedro this morning. Lets run down to the Cafe to shake hands and stand so close to Power, its scary. Let's air all our ideas and concerns with them while we got them both here on our Home turf, come campaign inside my 'establishment' so I can get my fifteen minutes of Fame with YOU, because of YOU. Julia and Damien’s first meeting: When Damien met Julia, it was almost blindingly amazing to him, because it was very much so 'Love at First Sight'. They both felt the pull of their attraction for each other both physically and spiritually within. Both knew instantaneously that they were Soul Mates, destined for each other from the start. When Damien first saw her walk by, he instantly recognized the power within the beautiful woman, and how well she could use it. She was awesome, and he knew he could not live without her by his side from that moment. They had met at a party that had been thrown by a mutual friend in town for another friends Birthday. When his friend introduced them to each other, he could see that the two were Meant To Be. Upon recognizing this, he quietly excused himself and left the two future Lovers by themselves and made his way to go check on the Liquor Supply for the party. Julia Lorreanna had been born on Catalina Island, 26 miles off the coast of California's Mainland to two parents of SIC nature. All through her life, she was subject to all the mental abuse that comes with having two drug-addicted parents raising a child in those days. Thus, Julia learned to develop her own inner defense mechanisms to protect herself from all of the Bullshit she had to put up with in her day to day routines of avoiding her parents when they were 'Coming Down' from their fixes and in a bad mood. So from an early age, Julia recognized her own inner powers, and started developing and honing them to perfection to use to her advantage. Damien Inner Dialogue: How we recognize and develop certain abilities is in direct proportion to our level of awareness of Self and those around us. If we have finally gotten out of ourselves enough to see more of the whole picture and our rightful Place in that picture, then we will better be able to quickly assess situations and make sub-conscious decisions. Thus allowing more of our Conscious time working on our innate abilities and using them for what they are intended for. Some of these abilities are for Self-Preservation and some are for the bettering of the Universe and those around us in Life. And some of these abilities are to recognize the Sick so we can avoid the Dis-Ease that is carried by these Sick ones. Avoidance of these people is necessary because we need More Alerts in the World. Those of us who are Awake need not be caught sleeping. If we see one of Ours falling asleep or already there, we need to ALERT them to that fact in order to maintain the precarious balance already established in the Universe. This balance is vital because we need that balance in order to finish what we have already started. Since we already have this established, We must maintain this in order to make it easier to push the Weak Ones out of our way when the time comes to spring the "Great Surprise" we have for them. October 6, 2002 When You've found your All, things change drastically. You feel more balanced and in focus. Things become clearer and your whole attitude towards Life changes. Your priorities are all different. The term Taken comes to mind, but Taking it Easy is so much more to the point. False Retortions from the Peanut Gallery. Trying to be what we are not. If you can, fake it until you make it, You'll be fine. FINE=Fucked Up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. Damn, I'm soooo fucking Stoked (stroked?). So we sit here while Mother Nature dances Eternally and we don't even notice any of the Beauty and Bounty She puts forth for us to admire because we're all tied down by all the Petty Bullshit we allow ourselves to be sucked into. We are all caught up in so much Drama that is not ours to begin with. I am most Berated by people who have no idea what’s been going on or What's Really going on, but ALL in All, I am really perturbed by those who just Don't Have a Clue. Can I put it in a To GO Cup? Malnourished Johnny Cash is/I am Nothing more than a Morbid Bellhop or a Morose Doorman with nothing better to do than write in Bars(barns) full of neurotic or maybe Psychotic People. Don't you drink all that shit! I'm in the wrong spot to be heard. Breath in, Breath Out, Don't you Breath at all Fucker! The Comic Routine that goes with it is ridiculous. October 7, 2002 So we tie the characters together in the play for the first act. Which comes to one in particular, with an Iced latte, sitting in the window of the Loft on Fifth St. with a .7mm rifle with a scope and a clear shot at the Kiosk and the Coffee House, getting a phone call by cell phone from inside the Coffee House... "Yes, he's here now, he's to the right of the Kiosk in the gray suit with the Red Tie. Yes, him right there. Yes, he's standing next to the photographer from the Daily Breeze who has his back to me across the street." Tommy DeLucas is the sniper in the Loft and was a friend of Damien LaRouche and Lawrence Talbot from over the last 12 years who always had some pretty twisted ideas and views on Life, The Universe and Everything. He was led astray from the Psyche by bad women, bad drugs and just not waking up to Life in Time to affectate a change in his soul. Linda Vaughn is Tommy's girlfriend and the eyes for him at the Coffee House feeding information on the movement of the Power Person of the moment they are tracking. Damien: The last couple of nights have been awesome. Spending time with Chani has been the fruition of years in the making. She's so awesome, and last nights conversations have been proof positive about how well I must be doing in the whole scheme of Life. I must be doing something’s right now, obviously? Not to mention, Chani and I seem to really be cut out for each other. We seem to totally think along the same wavelength on pretty much everything we discuss with each other, which in our case is everything... EVERYTHING! Now that all the pictures are coming in clearer, it all makes much more sense as to what's really been going on in My Life lately. Patience-Great things come to those Great Ones who wait...Truly! Tommy DeLucas: When Tommy DeLucas met Damien, it was almost catastrophic to both of them. You could even say it was deadly. It was an idea gone haywire that brought these two together in the Universe, and it almost killed them both. Tommy was always an eccentric person who was not ever afraid to speak his mind about whatever was being discussed, no matter if he was right or wrong. Why was not a question in his vocabulary nor did he ever learn that word, which is probably why he always ended up in various scuffles and fights with people. Tommy DeLucas was not one to be told any of his concepts and theories were ever wrong and if someone did call him on his bullshit..., Look Out! He had very strong convictions on his viewpoints about Life, and he'd be damned if someone disagreed with what He considered to be 'The Facts'. Always the spouter of Useless, trivial matters, he always ended up thinking he was right, even in the face of printed facts. He was ALWAYS Right... If He knew it one way, that was the way IT was, no matter what. One of his most sensitive subjects was about politics and how lame that whole lot of people was, Period! Another was Who is Really hurting our economic situation in this 'Supposed' Land of the Free. Tommy was always the Anarchist of any group he was ever considered a part of, including bands and his peers, so it was not unusual that he was the one who came up with The Plan... What The Plan consisted of was basically this: Methodically eliminate ALL the people on this planet that were guilty of spreading the Dis-Ease through-out the Universe. Now how these people were to be singled out as Guilty was also very simple; He could SEE them for what and Who they were- SIC... But just because he could see them was not all of his power, he could also Hear their thoughts and sense them when they were near at hand. And when he sensed them nearby, he could be seen to visually tense up and become violent, almost as if he were deathly allergic to their presence. Also, he would become very Highly Vociferous, freely speaking his mind to whomever came near him and was willing to listen to him, if even only for a few seconds... Just long enough to get his point across that 'They are Here among us, The SIC Ones...'. October 9, 2002 Damien: Those moments of Semi-Consciousness are the best for me. The times when you are still half asleep but half awake. She has Been Bewitched by the words. The Great Pantomime of the Universe unfolds before you, so Now, what do you do when the Show Must Go On? The Ones of the Underworld dance through the Moulin Rouge of Reality. Where have you Really been for all of Eternity? The Duke of Un-Reality is Insanely Jealous of Us. This is my home... Debauchery-John Luguiezamo When we've planted that seed of Doubt amongst ourselves, there is nothing more we can do to save ourselves but to Let Go and distance ourselves From ourselves. In other words, Get Yourself away from Yourself. Stay out of your own head if you haven't begun to understand yourself yet. Stay out of your own way. All through history, Man has always gotten in his own way, undermining all of His efforts to advance himself, because he hadn't Fully understood himself first. Don't fall into that trap so easily yourself. If you cannot decipher the language of your own Sub-conscience yet, then you are not Awake yet. Now, how to awaken yourself will only be known to You by You. No one else will understand what You are Saying, because it's You that's saying it from your Sub-Conscience. Only You Understand Your Sub-Conscience. Only You Will Know. ERGEN-BLERGEN-DERGEN-SMERGEN~! Everything is The All! When is the time to spring this all on everyone who Doesn't Know? When is the time to knock everything off balance and send the Off-Kilter ones over the Edge, into Nothingness? How easy it is to push them over that edge. They leave themselves wide open to it, too. They just stand before the cliff screaming, 'Push Me...Here I am, I'm weak, Push me over that edge...' They hold up a big Neon Sign saying, 'I don't know, Nor will I ever allow myself to, Either!' Paint yourself Red and run screaming through the town, "I'm Asleep, and I'm not ever going to wake up from my BLISSFUL DREAM WORLD I'VE CREATED FOR MYSELF TO SURROUND MYSELF WITH IGNORANCE!!!" Why put so much effort into bitching about everything that’s wrong in the World and not do much good at all when you can put that energy forth into a CONSTRUCTIVE purpose and actually DO SOMETHING about it. All that wasted energy bitching and moaning like a little Bitch does NO GOOD whatsoever, except to throw Karma off Balance. And we all know what happens when Karma becomes un-balanced...right? That's Right.... It Comes back.. Ten-fold! Me, personally, I'm getting tired of the STOOPID sleeping ones. I think its time that someone should do something to Get Them out of here because they are wasting space and wasting our time. Open Your Eyes and See What IS for what IT IS! Relax, step back from IT and take all of it in and behold the beauty of The New Masterpiece. It's always been the Way It's Been, so Let IT Be! It's not that hard at all. But if it Starts slipping away, step back and reassess your situation, quick. Smiles are contagious, spread them freely and be open-minded and willing to Share. We all have gifts to share with this Universe, so Don't be Selfish with them. And don't care what other people think of you in general because it will plant that Seed of Doubt that will kill you. And it Will if you Let It. Get out of the mentality that 'Everything Happens To Me' because it Doesn't. It never has and never will if you don't let it. So don't fall into that mindset in the first place. When you do fall into it, it complicates everything from the start. When you Start with a bad Foundation, Your House WILL FALL. Keep that in mind when you go about your day. Give the right circumstances, a whole new person will come forth from the wreckage of the past when you actually DO let go of Self. And the person you meet might surprise you, too when you do Let Go. You might actually enjoy meeting the New You, if you give it half a chance. You may even like the New You, but you'll never know if you keep holding onto those Bad, Old ideas that have poisoned you from birth. In the End it Really Does Not Matter. AT ALL. So don't let it ALL get to you. Bring Order out of Chaos and let it Be what it's Going to Be, anyways. Just Say Thank You because it's going to be that way No Matter What happens. Just Go with The Flow, as they say. It's actually a Beautiful World we live in, it's just a matter of perception; how YOU see everything. Don't be afraid to take that leap into oblivion, the un-surety of Life. A Leap of Faith. Take that chance and Relax. It's gonna happen one way or another anyways. Those Who Know, WILL. Kinda like the ghetto saying, 'Your Bitch Chose Me...' Think ahead of time to Be On Time, Stay ahead to be the First In Line and don't fall behind and take notes on the Whole Thing, Be there when IT happens. Follow the Patterns, Recognize where You Are! STRAIGHT PSYCHOTIC! Linda Vaughn: Intervene in my world and watch what happens. You won't be happy at all. And when that happens, be sure to brace yourself against it. The debauchery of Self is Self-Evident and shows like a sore thumb. When you intervene in My World, you are taking some of ME away, and not many people like that. Watch where you trod, Damien, because you are walking on thin ice. I won't stand for your mindless psycho babble any longer. I just wish you would get out of my head and stay in your own. You are taking this too far, and I'm beginning to wonder if maybe you are Schizophrenic or something, cuz you seem to have all these alternate personalities that sometimes scare me. Just don't call me anymore, because You Are SCARING me! October 10, 2002 Damien: When the Crow landed in front of the doorway, it caught Damien completely off guard. And just when he had started having premonitions of bad things happening, this Guardian of his showed up to prove his premonitions true. Never before had the Crows been so demanding and brazen about getting his attention. But when that happened, Damien knew it was time to go. And NOW! At that moment, Damien had started getting very ancy and he felt odd and extremely uncomfortable and he couldn't understand why. He just had the sudden gut feeling to go, Leave... that inner voice telling him to 'LEAVE, NOW!' Whenever that voice spoke up in his mind, he always listened to it. But when it happened to coincide with a Crow standing so close and the voice screaming in his head, it meant something Big, something really BAD was going to happen. But what, he could not tell. What struck him as odd was the way his body felt during and after the voice spoke and the Crow appeared. His whole body had started to tense up as all the muscles in his back started constricting around his spine and twisting it all out of whack. When his back got like that, Damien knew what would come next if he didn't get away from that place right then. He would become violently ill, almost paralyzed with paranoia. It was an inner-defense mechanism that protected Damien from slipping off his predestined path anytime Chaos reared Her Head. That inner gut reaction worked pretty well most of the time, but in conjunction with the Crows, his Brethren were always keeping an eye on Him and Guiding him on his day to day journey through Life. New Toys Rock! These two things were what helped Damien to make decisions when Logic failed to fit the bill for whatever was at hand for him to react to. Whether it be deciding which direction to go or even who he should and should not help out or share knowledge with. Of all of his Psychic gifts, the one he valued the most was his ability to listen to his instincts and being Dead on with his 'hunches'. Nine times out of Ten, he was right on the money, while the tenth time he was at least close enough to affect a change. He was proud, amazed and sometimes Scared of how accurate his ability was. But what made Damien happiest was knowing that all he did everyday was actually making a big difference in the Universe. That's what caused him to smile so much every moment of every day, was just knowing. And that was half of the battle right there; KNOWING. *Note: Lawrence Talbot carries Lisa's Soul with him from day to day and see's her in His reflection and hears her in his voice, as does Damien with Julia. Everything reminds them of their Lost loves...EVERYTHING.... Damien: When I first read "The Rum Diaries" by Hunter S. Thompson, I didn't fully understand fully where he was coming from, entirely. But now that I'm actually writing at full force myself, I think I've got a pretty good idea where he was at when he titled that book. I say this because right now, as I write this down, I'm sipping on a Coors Light bottled beer and a tall glass of Ice Cold Writin Fuel, Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum and Coke. And MY GOD, how well this Rum makes me write. I think that the Rum helps by numbing the proper parts of the conscious mind allowing the sub-conscious mind to bleed through to the forefront of consciousness where it is better able to be understood and recognized and Utilized. Besides, Rum goes down smooth and gives ya lots of Goose Bumps! So a tall glass of Rum and Coke and some great tunes on the Juke Box set the Writing atmosphere for, I , Damien to conduct the experiments of the mind which so humor me these days while I await the return of My Goddess. It doesn't matter to me how long it takes for her to return, kuz I will wait as long as it takes, even if it's for all Eternity. October 12, 2002 All I have to say is WOW! The mental raping of the innocent takes place everyday without notice or without any sleep. Ah, the Great Sleep that comes when we only want to be Friends. It closes off all connections to Reality. The Shopping spree of the mind that comes with you. It will leave you saying, 'Wow' over and over again till you lie quivering in the middle of the psycho Babel of yesterday unless you realize what it is that causes it to happen... "Let's Just Be Friends..." October 13, 2002 Enjoying the day as it slowly rolls by on a sunday afternoon, watching the world go about. As the Fake People go by pretending they think they know I must laugh at the folly of their ignorance and how blind they are to the whole picture before them. They don't even realize how transparent they really are and how obvious they are to US. Little do they know that they are so easy to predict and anticipate. Yes, the folly of the Vultures and Vampires of this world are utterly ridiculous when it comes to the Paradox's of Perception. They stand out like Neon Signs against a backdrop of Nothingness, and flash off and on each time becoming brighter with each successive Blink... When you see certain things in other people that mesh with the way you are, it sparks that certain interest that is within you that makes you want to know more, see more, WANT more. Which was how I was feeling about Chani. She just kept surprising me more and more everyday and every night and it started making me wonder how far this all could go and to what level it was going to go to. But at the same time, I didn't want to over analyze the whole thing and put the wrong connotations on anything. But it's also funny how worlds will overlap each other to signify the Beginning of One thing and the finality of the End or Death of another. Like one night, There was the whole thing of going to places of the past and getting past them to get to my new future. Which is how I saw that night going to the movies with Chani and how it overlapped my old world with Julia and obliterated it all with a look and a kiss. Just the way Chani Looked at me just melted me but also invigorated me at the same time. Ahh, time, what an overrated concept when it comes to standing with Someone So special, you almost seem to stand together Outside of Time, not ever being affected at all by it as long as you two are together. But the second you step away from each other, Time comes crashing back in. Then again, it may just have been the spell of the Pisces Woman standing so close to me, The Taurus, always bedazzled by their presence. What can I say except Chani seemed to mesmerize me. But that what was so awesome about her to me, that almost magickal quality she had about her that grabbed my attention. That and how we both seemed to know each other, and knew what each other were thinking... as if we knew each other from past lives... Hmmmmm, Such a great fuzzy feeling on the inside I had while with her... I'll miss her forever after. October 14, 2002 Hey, thanks for the Soul Charge. Hey thanks for letting me bounce It around. All those little things we take for granted and never pay attention to are exactly the tools we need to affectate change in our surroundings. What we put forth in the Universe will come back to us, so we need to be a little more careful because it is true that You Reap What You Sow. The face you put forth for yourself about yourself will attract Like Faces. So if you always have a frown on your face, it's likely you're gonna be surrounded by a bunch of frowning people. Me, I like to be surrounded by happy, smiling people, so what do you think I should do to attract that group of people??? Linda Vaughn: Linda Vaughn, an ex-psychiatrist/actress who went over that Edge, that fine line between Neurosis and Bliss, used to have a very successful practice in Beverly Hills and a plush mansion in the Malibu Hills, now walks the streets endlessly crying out for help from the Dis-Ease. Her story is a sad one among many, but it is unique in the fact that she was once Someone who KNEW and was very good working with people. She had a keen awareness that was almost scary at times the way she could Read people, almost see right through to the core of their souls. All the time through her career as a psychiatrist, she was looked upon by her peers as a pioneer in her field, helping countless numbers of patients that were labeled as 'Hopeless' by other psychiatrists, always succeeding where others had failed to see any chance of helping. Her gift was that of Seeing and Hearing the actual problem these people were having and fixing the root of the problems. She excelled in Medicine of the Mind and the Magick of the Soul, healing people left and right around her wherever she would go. Thus, she became a very popular Doctor and a success almost virtually overnight, and her gift soon would give way because of one Vital Flaw she seemed to have... She would always take care of everyone else but her own self was always neglected. This flaw would eventually lead to her Self-Destruction, and the denial that lead to her final step over the fine line of Insanity. When Linda first noticed her gift, she had been going to Law School. She always felt an instinctive Push telling her there was a lot more out there to Life than this. What she had seen thus far in her Twenty-Two years of Life, she was always sub-consciously looking for what it was that was missing from her life. Soon, she began attending Frat parties her girlfriends were always going to and raving about to her when they'd return at four and five-thirty in the morning. At one such party she met someone who had caught her attention unlike any other guy she met while 'on the prowl' for fun, more like he STOOD OUT in stark contrast to everyone else around him in the room. He seemed more like a bright Neon light in a room full of flickering candles. When she saw Him, she had to shake her head and rub her eyes and look again to make sure she was not seeing things. When she looked again, he was still there looking exactly how he did a few seconds before, and she knew instantly that she must go and talk to this mystery man. This mystery man was none other than Tommy DeLucas, a first year Med-student from Torrance, California, who was currently in the same boat as Linda in her indecisiveness as to what they wanted to do in Life, knowing there had to be more than this to life. Soon the two were talking like old friends from childhood over drinks sitting in a corner of the party, oblivious to all the Chaos surrounding them. From Tommy's point of view, she had seemed a glittering Fairae before him, beckoning him to come forth to her. And he did just that. The two met like Long Lost Lovers and soon the friendship grew, blacking out all of their obstacles in Life and they had eyes for no one but Each Other. After hours upon hours of discussion, Linda finally discovered her true calling in Life. After being told by so many that she was good with getting to the crook of so many peoples problems so accurately, she decided to drop Law and took up her pre-med classes, acing them all. Then she focused on psychiatry, so loving the intricacies of the human mind and the condition of Society's psyche. It fascinated her so and she soon found that she was good at it and it became her obsession as well as Tommy DeLucas. Their discussions would range from spiritual Revelations to Cooking to the lack of order in the Universe. Then, onto Sex, Drugs and the part they played in keeping one half of the World sedated and the other half Enlightened, in which the latter, they were both quite content. It was from these conversations that Linda developed her sense of 'Being' and belonging in the Universe and from which Tommy developed his 'Plan'. Soon, Tommy had moved in with Linda and the two were hardly ever seen at any social gatherings of their friends. After awhile, they were never seen for weeks and months at a time unless they were in class or at work, and even then, for only a short time. They had virtually disappeared from their circle of friends with each other. All this time, Linda was beginning to build her practice up, gaining more and more patients and more and more money. And with the money, soon started following the Drugs... Lots of them. And soon after the drugs came the insanity. And with the Insanity, Thus came the "Plan". The Plan came about one night by a fluke, and a total misunderstanding about something said in passing when Damien was visiting Tommy and Linda for dinner. The dinner conversation turned into a discussion of Life's Philosophy and alternate realities and parallel universes. October 14, 2002 There's more than enough Insanity to go around in this place. October 16, 2002 Damien: The night she died was inevitable. It was slow in coming but all knew it would eventually happen. They all watched as she slowly began deconstructing herself before their very eyes, getting worse and more unhealthy everyday. It all started with her severe delusions about the world, thinking of everyone around her as being 'Out To Get Her' and to ruin her good standing in life. To her, everyone was an Asshole, they were SHIT: They were all 'Below Her' and didn't matter diddly squat to her at all. One of the first signs of the Dis-Ease taking over was how self-centered she started becoming about everything that was hers. Everyone was out to take advantage of her and use her for what She had and could do 'For Them', and soon the Downward Spiral Began and there would be no turning back. Those who knew her well could do nothing but shake their heads in dismay at what they were witnessing, and they could not even believe what they were watching happen to her. But there wasn't a thing any of them could do at all to help her because they couldn't convince her otherwise and she had to learn on her own. Besides, she wouldn't let anyone help her because she was '...Perfectly Capable of handling it herself.' In due time, more and more of her friends and family began noticing her slipping further and further away from them and soon they became alarmed at her appearance and attitude towards life. It began to affect more and more people around her to the point that people began to shun her and avoid her. When the Dis-Ease completely took over, all ignored her completely... Damien: October 16, 2002 Sancho Tighfield of Tookbank Moro Moss of Lake By Downs The names by which we go by can be changed but our true selves cannot. We will always be WHO we are no matter what we do or Try to do to change it. We will always BE! Forever...Never More! BEER: Helping Ugly People have sex for over Sixty-Nine Years! Metaphors of the Seduction of the Soul and all that goes with Tha Groove. The Pictures put forth by the Mind's Eye can be misinterpreted by the conscious mind if you don't understand the Language of the Soul. How sickened will We All let our Souls become until we have realized what's happening to ourselves and start doing something to remedy the problems at hand? Things seen in passing which are indicative of what is really happening around us all the time are 'Signs', omens, if you may. What we are looking at or who we are looking at at the time tell us what is to come. There are Many Good Shit Talkers in the world, but very few Do-Gooders left at all in this Fucked up Place. Then again, I can see why so many on this planet have just given up and don't even give a damn about anyone else here at all. It's way too easy to slip into that mentality of "Fuck The World" nowadays because of how much negativity there is surrounding us and filling our heads from the Media and Television. We need some change in this World, STAT! Or is that all we really need at all? More can be said about what We Want and what we really need. A moral stigma if there ever was one to believe in. Beliefs are far stranger than usual in this day and age because of Everyone's varying and changing views and perspectives because everyone is always on the move and in such a big hurry to Race to that Next 'STOP SIGN'. You just keep bringing those souls on in for us and we'll take care of them for you while you do your Thing. LET ME FISH OFF YOUR PIER! All the ways we medicate ourselves and get ourselves so intoxicated in order to forget bits and pieces of ourselves. It's understandable at times to purposely forget certain events in our past temporarily but at the same time, we are actually erasing the very brain cells we NEED for essential living instead of the ones that actually contain these memories. Do you think those with the Dis-Ease will even notice this fact before it slowly or Suddenly Kills them? You got that right: They don't and never will unless they wake up, FAST! The End of The Beginning of The End is coming fast for them. And when the Grim Reaper pulls up in his Suburban 4 x 4 from Hell Screaming "More BOING FOR YOUR DOING!", you better pay attention, kuz you don't want him to get impatient waiting for YOU. Don't Piss Him OFF! October 17, 2002 "...I need to talk to you, real bad. Really bad things have been happening," she said to me persistently. "I almost killed myself the other night and everything is ALL wrong with me right now." She had this look in her eyes that disturbed me slightly because I had seen that very look in my own eyes in the mirror before. That look was what made me get up from what I was doing to walk her around the corner to find out exactly What was 'wrong' with her this time. She had tried to kill herself before on several occasions but only half-hearted attempts were made using the wrong means, and using the entirely wrong type of measures. So I had to find out if it was another attempt to get attention or if maybe something Really Was Wrong. I wasn't exactly sure what I was dealing with so I took my time. I assessed the situation fully before I decided what I was going to do and say to her so as not to royally fuck her up in the head like it would have been so very easy to do at that point in time. She was really Over the Edge, and there might not be any chance of bringing her back over to US and healing her. Just like Julia.... It scared me how closely the two women were related in this manner. Too close for comfort how so many of us end up almost Exactly like someone else in our Self Inflicted Mind- Fucks! October 17, 2002 About Damien: I had just stepped outside to have a cigarette when it all went down. Everyone in town had come outside to see what was happening at the same time, as if an internal 'Locals Only' alarm alerting them to His Presence in the Downtown area had gone off. Somehow He had managed to slip by our Watchers at the perimeter of our little community without even being noticed. So when He Popped up out of Nowhere, it was of major concern to all of us in town. So when it happened, everyone was very surprised. The clouds slowly made their way over the town and began to slowly strangle out the Sun when it first began to occur. And as the light began to disappear like a Solar Eclipse will do, people noticed it immediately. October 17, 2002 The Degeneration of Society's values in today’s day and age is quite obvious wherever you happen to look... October 17, 2002 David Noel Alexson: David Noel Alexson watches over the shoulder of Damien through the Veil of Realities, the thin membrane between worlds that keeps the two worlds separated from each other so as not to contaminate the innocent for the benefit of the Dis-Eased ones. 'The Glances stolen of the ALL will be deemed reasonable cause for that Karmic Build Up of Energy of the Universe to be Released into the Universe to restore that Balance Necessary to maintain the already precarious cohesiveness of Reality... "The Only reason we want it released is so we will No longer have any Karmic Black marks against us so we may sin again," David said to Damien. "Well, why do you want to be the one to put the whole of the Universe completely off Balance, thinking that you are really putting it back in Balance when you're really Not?" "Remember where I come from, Damien... Everything's Backwards there and what seems wrong Here is actually Right There." "Or Left if you're cynical, Sarcastic bastard like myself," Damien Chuckled. "Whatever! Stop interrupting me you asshole! I'm serious about all of this. You've got to think like you're looking in a mirror when you look at me. I'm you, idiot! And I'm telling you that their alternate Selves, if that makes more sense to you, them on My Side of the Mirror, have tried to assassinate me and that means that THEY are going to try to do it over here with you. How much more do you want me to spell it out for you. Even an IDIOT could figure that out. So take what I have told you and Take precautions to avoid gettin yourself ERASED by two nitwits like that. Okay?! Sonofabitch! Are you really that Blind Damien?"